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25 Tips for Ensuring a Happy and Strong Marriage in your Retirement Years
user 0 Comments Retire Wealthy Tips for Retiree's
retirement can redefine your marriage For Better or For Worse Better or Worse did I say that to us when we got married I think for did I make that vow I don't think so oh come on oh maybe but this new chapter retirement brings both opportunities and challenges to your relationship you know while divorce rates are down in the US gray divorce which is divorce over the age of 50 is on the uptick we don't want you to become part of those statistics no this video is going to be great we're going to give you is it 25 tips for a healthy marriage in retirement in retirement and I want you to pay attention to this I'm going to and me too all right now if you're new here my name is Mark and this is my wife jod and we don't focus on the financial aspects of retirement but rather lifestyle Health relationships and more so if you like this video and you like watching us please hit the Subscribe button and the notification button and we would be forever grateful if you could share this with someone that you care about who who's on their retirement Journey too so I don't know if we've got you know um I can't think of a story that really resonates with listen we know people who got who get divorced you know they they retire One retires and the next thing you know they're divorced and it's probably because they spent all their time apart then they're together and it's um it can be difficult well I also think you know as people are together for longer and longer periods of times without good healthy communication people change and you either need to acknowledge and embrace the change or discuss and discourage the change whatever your thing might be but but you know it all it all comes back down to how important that core unit is yeah and I think that I think that for sure the the marriage that you had when you began was super special that's why you got married and then you had maybe you had children you had your career years and now it's time to rebuild it because times are different and you want to have a good healthy happy marriage for sure and that's what this video is all about absolutely now before we jump into the teaching there's a quick download that we'd love for you to look at if you haven't received it yet on the downsizing dilemma it's one of our most popular downloads so take a look at that because that's something that comes up in a marriage discussion as well once you hit retirement so and you know stay till the end because we're going to give you five action steps to begin the process of building your stronger marriage that's that's key you're going to love that so what's the first step or the first thing we want to talk about for a healthy marriage I feel like this is the first step in quite a few of the videos we do especially as you're in retirement or entering into retirement and it's really communication you know communication is key establishing daily check-ins you know sharing retirement expectations and goals discussing any changes in roles and responsibilities that may come up and also addressing any unresolved issues and addressing them calmly right well so yeah so well yep so well so I'm just trying to think communication and we like you said we do a lot of this this is so important and some people don't even let the conversation start and that's bad they hold back I think men in particular they're afraid to be vulnerable with their wives because they don't want to they're afraid of how you might react let's say so they don't really want to open up how they feel right but this is something we all need to get over to be able to in a kind caring slow thoughtful way share with your partner how you're feeling share with them what you're concerned about share with them what right what what you can do for them today we have daily check-ins every morning we have coffee together for 30 minutes around yoga and cycling and my exercise and walk in the dog 30 minutes a day we kind of establish where are we how are we feeling how are we showing up how do we help each other out and sometimes that 30 minutes gets away from us not going to lie with um social media pressures YouTube comment responding and you know so we do our check-in I don't know if I'd give us the full 30 minutes anymore I feel like that's really cut down to maybe 15 or 20 one cup of coffee and then we got a roll well we should fix that yeah we should because because that's important yeah and we want to be honest about what we're really doing so yeah so I mean here's a here's a little tip if you're just retired or whatever spend 30 minutes each day checking in with each other it's a good one all right Second One Financial transparency typically one or the other of the spouses handles the money right there now needs to be complete transparency with both on how much money you have how much money is coming in how much money is going out what your big expenses are understanding each other spending habits you know on Amazon or wherever you know you just you need to really be open and transparent about that and not not withhold anything well and I think it's it's important because you want to plan for any unexpected expenses right you want to talk about any Financial fears or insecurities you might have and then maybe even consult a financial advisor together you know but really fully creating the space where you know everybody you know let's just all talk about what we're spending and what we're spending it on is a really good first step well and particularly if you both retire at the same time or One retires early there's not the same amount of money coming in right so there can't be the same amount of money going out that's got you've got to curtail your expenses and that's a hard conversation to have no one wants to be told we can't afford that or I don't like you spend so much money on that so but you have to be open about it and you know it's funny the third thing is a lot of um couples that we spoke to talked a lot about having Shar shared an individual interest as one of the key cornerstones to cultivating a really healthy marriage as they age you know some common activities and hobbies they respect and support also though their individual interests or needs so we have pickle ball MH we have golf you have your own golf mhm I have yoga you have yoga I have cycling so that's we have some stuff together and then you know we dinner time when I'm cooking Jody's helping me or you're cooking we're kind of in the kitchen together so I think it's just you know versus you do your thing I do my thing and you know we meet at the end of the day yeah no so you got to really balance togetherness and Independence yep and encourage each other to continue to grow and learn and and try new things you know a lot of times we have couples that one has a ton of hobbies and interest and one doesn't have any so you know it's really encouraging each other I think at the same time so as we age um our health and wellness becomes more important so number four is sharing doing building a life around health and wellness together and that means exercising regularly together adopting a a healthy diet as a couple making sure we both go see our doctors and we actually have the same uh skin doctor the same GP the same uh naturopath doctor so we go together right um you know I drive Jody sits next to me or do you sit in the back I drive Miss dais I would love that that could be Miss Daisy I think that um doing that together and being open and honest about what the doctor says right and Shar you know talking about medication prioritizing sleep and rest that's got to be an open part of your discussion again this is about having a healthy marriage right and it's hard to PRI prioritize sleep and rest if you're on different schedules you know Mark is a super early riser 4 in the morning I'm more of a six o00 girl um um so you know you like to get into bed a lot earlier I commit to getting in bed at the same time as you but then I want to read because I can't go to sleep that early so it's just really having again that conversation I think the next one which leads into uh quality time and romance planning regular date nights even in retirement celebrating anniversaries and special occasions showing appreciation and in and affection every day how do we do that well when we wake up in the morning you're already awake I wake up and come out I walk the dog and I always come in and give you a kiss yeah before you brush your teeth I do driv are crazy bad it's a tight kiss it's like this I'm a teeth brusher I like a good teethbrush well to your point you know um you reached this phase of life and maybe the romance is gone or it's the flame is not as high you really need to reignite that flame you need to work on it and if you need listen if you need therapy you should get therapy but if you want to help healthy romance you need to have quality time together healthy marriage you need to have quality time together and you need to have romance I mean you need to if you have to schedule can I say sex sure if you want to schedule sex to have sex schedule it we did a great video on sex after 60 or something yeah with a therapist a therapist and she at the end said listen if you're having trouble with sex and it's not happening she gave us exercise at the end get in to bed together naked touch each other all over but it can't seexual right have we done that yet I I don't know but you you went there really really fast I just thought about it for people who are stuck here because you're watching this video and you're think we don't have any romance don't give up right don't give up give up for sure for sure okay uh the sixth thing would be navigating social changes right building a Social Circle with other retirees staying connected with family and friends volunteering and engaging in community activities all of these things to address any feeling ings of loneliness or isolation you might have even hosting Gatherings you know into your home together so we're having dinner tonight with friends that live across the street another couple and they become sort of our group therapy couple because we're really open about our marriages and our struggles and some things that we're doing new you know that that's like unheard of but we are so comfortable with them and comfortable with each other we're okay sharing and they're okay sharing and it's really nice to have another couple that you can talk openly about your relationship it's true right yeah that's true yeah for sure all right number seven continuous learning and growth this is really important a lot of people think I'm done with my career and I'm just going to sit back I don't really need to learn anything gosh there's so much you can learn or relearn or unlearn the wrong way and learn the right way you can take classes you can do workshops together share knowledge we're always always kind of quizzing each other on on what we're learning the big word for this curiosity yeah stay curious curious and open to new experiences you know I hate playing cards I hate games I really do you can just ask our kids cuz they ask him all the time so we had dinner with these couple we're seeing again tonight couple a week ago and said you guys want to come over at 5:30 for pizza and play cards I'm like the pizza part I like I actually had the greatest time ever playing cards I didn't want it to end I know and I went in there with a different mindset I said you know what different experience everyone around me all my kids they love cards and I don't right it's not wrong with them it's wrong with me so this is still under the continuous learning learning bucket so even a card game is a good thing well 7A right between seven and eight is learning how to play cards there you go so we know we have to put it in there 28 y um you know adapting to a new home Dynamic you know you're both there full-time now that's different right it is different you need to redefine household responsibilities and kind of create your own personal spaces within your home and discuss expectations about home life you know does one of you like to watch The Morning News and the other wants to read the paper in quiet well back in the day one could go to the office and read the paper and the other could you know get dressed while the news was on or whatever it might be but there's going to be big changes and really need to navigate those changes inside your daily routine and talk about it so when your Dynamics are a little when you're a little at of sort you're at home and you're at of sorts with what's happening what your wife or husband is doing you have to find um time and space to address any conflicts promptly right I and constructively I was always the worst if things weren't the way I wanted them to be and they were out of s sorts i' withdraw into my cave and I would go in there and I'd shut down I'd be quiet that is the worst thing that I ever did to you I don't think I do it anymore at all maybe 10% but I used to go 120% all in and you'd say to me all day you okay I'm fine you're kind of quiet I just don't feel like talking but the difference was our home Dynamics were changing and you weren't really was I wasn't yeah what you were concerned about I wasn't addressing the conflict properly so now something happens I say hey I want to let you know how what you just did made me feel not looking for a response and just open up a line of communication the ninth thing would be respecting and understanding each other just kind of in a broad C category right acknowledging and validating each other's feelings being patient with each other to any adjustments that is required As you move through this transition yeah and I think cultivating um a feeling of empathy and compassion is really important and respecting each other's viewpoints we don't agree on a lot of things but I respect your Viewpoint and you respect mine and then we decide what we're going to do going forward and honestly I think that practicing forgiveness if you cannot forgive your partner for something they did 10 minutes ago or 10 years ago you're going to carry that around and it's going to be a wound that's going to prevent you from really getting close again I age so I agree I'm not great at forgiving you're really good at forgiving do you forgive me for all of my sins do I know all of your sins well to you oh yes oh good so Lu we started fresh I'm glad I'm glad we got to this one today no I'm again I joke around a lot forgiveness is really important we're going to make mistakes we're going to say stupid things going to we're going to be a jerk sometimes and I think you just need to apologize own up to it and forgive the other person okay the 10th thing is future plan planning really discussing long-term goals and dreams you know plan for any potential health issues that one or the other of you might have consider your living arrangements later in life what do you both Envision that to look like you know update your Wills your legal documents and talk about any Legacy and Family Matters talk about them early and talk about them often and talk about them together right you don't jod has three daughters I have three sons you know we we we have I talked to my boys about certain things J talks to her girls but anything about future planning trips Legacy Family Matters Jody and I talk to them together it's really important to be United on that particularly with a blended family 100% for sure all right so there's there's a lot of change in this phase of life so number 11 is embracing change together you know accepting the change that retirement brings you're both home home now you're both there all day long and you need to be open to adjusting plans and your expectations and gosh you got to have a lot of flexibility right yeah and you have to really realize and we all need to realize as this huge generation of us is embracing and moving in through the transition of retirement that it is one of the top 20 most stressful events you'll ever go through in your life is retiring oddly enough so you know celebrate this new phase of life together and support each other through the transition even though you might not be at the same phase yeah you know I think that uh we talked about health before and we talked about Legacy and talking about embracing change um taking care of each other as we age you know one of the things that maybe we haven't talked enough about really is what if one of us gets sick right yeah you going to take care of me of course I will oh good no but I think that's important because all of a sudden it's upon you yeah and you haven't talked about it now it's kind of a shock right um so I think that's that's really important um number 12 effective conflict resolution again for me I was really bad at this I'm a lot better but when there's some conflict really need to develop healthy ways to address disagreements you can't blame um you want to focus on Solutions right you really don't want to blame the other person okay something happened what can we do to fix it right and you have to practice some active listening skills right where you're asking questions along the way not closed-ended questions but open-ended questions and really showing empathy for what the other person's going through and feeling free to take a time out if this discussion gets heated Mark will do that sometimes he'll say up I'm full I had enough we're going to have to pause on this and I'm right mid stride and you get mad at me I do because it's hard because I'm I'm a task completion person so I'm ready to just work it all out and you need more time than I do so working towards compromise for Mutual satisfaction I think makes a big difference there's a couple I know that have a code word I honestly think it was my brother and his wife but there's a code word so when things are getting heated things are out of control they had a code word that they would say one of them would say and that just kind of said okay it's time to take a break instead of continuing the yelling or the screaming or the pushing or the blaming just saying you know what I this isn't working right now I want to come up with a solution but we're headed in the wrong direction let's take a little pause well I know our daughter Evan and her boyfriend Hayden have a conversation where if it's going in a wrong direction one or the other will say let's roll that back oh and that gives the person a chance to roll back the direction or what does that mean like a undo what you just said no not undo it like like let's let's roll that back because this isn't going in the right direction and they can then have a conversation about redirecting the conversation I thought it was a good Str again this is about healthy marriages healthy relationships so these are all good tips and good ideas and the 13th one we kind of discussed a little bit earlier but maintaining intimacy and closeness prioritizing your physical and emotional intimacy which I think is really as important as the physical intimacy you know CU as you get older your intimacy needs change and be open to new ways of expressing love and kindness right scheduling regular time for intimacy which I think you already talked about when is that Sundays at 3 and um is that when it is I don't know got footballs on I don't know if that's I tell you what it's today at 5 um but also seeking professional help you know if you need to face some challenges together don't be afraid of getting therapy right either individually or as a couple if you've been together for 20 or 30 or 40 years gosh don't you know this whole saying about the grass is greener on the other side it's so true and do the best you can to work through your problems but get some professional help if you need it the other thing you really need is a supportive Network right and again I talk about a couple across the street he's a great guy for me to go to he understands me he understands jod he understands our relationship I can talk to him about something I'm struggling with with jod and he's really good at just saying you know not really saying a lot just listening so building a supportive Network for yourself and as a couple I think is important yeah I think to really maintain friendships that enrich your marriage right support your marriage you know connecting with individuals or other couples that are in the Life same life stage as you participating in community or religious group you know activities you know that you can do together you know and offering support to friends and then accepting that support back in return I think is really important during this stage and I think the children too you know our our children are adults now you know my sons are 30 I'll get this wrong 38 36 34 more or less they're they're grown young men yeah they are and they do provide a a supportive Network for me we don't share like when we're struggling but just to have conversations with them is helpful too and you're really good with your daughters yeah but I I think with the girls I actually do share when I'm struggling because I I value their perspective so that might be well a new layer for you and the boys well maybe me a new layer for the girls and I cuz I'm picking up um Maddie tomorrow uh at the airport and I'll be with her for an hour and a half so I could check in with her on what you're telling her okay is that what we think is that how it's going to go all right setting personal and Joint goals you know um a healthy marriage needs growth it needs uh fun it needs excitement and you need to have some goals as a human being and as a couple so we do a lot of individual goals but we do a lot of joint goals we do we do and celebrating those achievements big and small keeping each other accountable and motivated you know is uh It's Tricky but it's something that I think really supports this one about setting goals and celebrate achievements you know I had a I'm almost finished with my book and there's been a whole bunch of different achievements and you've been my biggest fan yeah well I'm excited for it yeah I am too but you know I think I think keeping each other accountable to their goals too and being motivated is really important okay here's one we're struggling with we struggle with this one I'm surprised it's number 16 well it's not in any kind of order but managing time effectively we gosh you know we have this business we love it YouTube Channel's doing great uh but you know balancing personal time couple time so couple time for us is pick a ball Tuesdays and Thursdays and golf on Thursday and we're missing out on that right now yeah we got the puppy we little Ruby which helps but you've really got to spend some time at this and allocate time for relaxation and Leisure right for each other and alone time and and really prioritize the tasks and activities that are most important and everything can't be important right and then also be flexible to some spontaneous plans I think that's where we really fail I love spontaneity did I say it right I think you did spontaneity um 17 enhancing your emotional intelligence This falls under communication but really work on understanding each other's emotions when when I see that you are I'm going to say wound up or stressed or anxious it's because you're concerned about making sure what you're working on people will appreciate and and that it'll be the best that you can deliver and that's a great thing that you feel that way but I know it takes a lot of energy and I'm getting much better at recognizing that you're not stressed out you're not mad you're not angry you're just trying to make something really good for somebody else right right and I think learning to express that constructively really helps because sometimes when you just say you know like well what's a matter and I'm like well nothing's the matter I'm just deep into a research project or I'm deep into writing a script or I'm deep into you know trying to find a new book that we can you know help you know with clients or whatever but sometimes when you just say what's the matter it puts me on my heels for sure you like this is kind of like us kind of revealing it's like doing therapy with a camera exactly they're not saying anything I know leave the comments below let us know what you think but the other thing is that Jody and I are getting really good at and we're you know listen we're we're a work in progress defin we're a work in progress but we're we're study this stuff for ourselves and for you but recognize and appreciate each other's strengths and we're getting so much better at that I kind of give you free Liberty on what you're good at and I don't worry about it right and then we try to engage in activities that boost our emotional well-being you know we sometimes we meditate together we journal in the morning at the same time so here's a big one for couples you know trying to stay together and happy and that is really handling health challenges together you know really being prepared for age related health issues support each other through any health setbacks share responsibility and Health Care Management and stay informed about each other's medical needs you know this is the way to encourage a proactive approach to health and wellness and I think we we spout that a lot well we spout it but we haven't dealt with it we're very fortunate that both of us are healthy and there there's some minor things but nothing really bad knock on wood but someone left a comment on YouTube just uh this morning she just retired she's 62 her husband is 20 years older and because of that her they've been married for a long time because of that her dreams of traveling now have kind of vanished and she's struggling with that right and so so things like that can happen to your to your relationship if one of you does get sick and they can't TR so you really need to have backup plans or or talk ahead of time that you know if you do get sick we're not going to travel I'm fine with that yeah my sister-in-law's mom does that her husband can't travel for some health related issues and she goes everywhere but they agree upfront the things that he can do locally they do together and then the things she does abroad she does with girlfriend that's such a great example we should really add that comment for that couple because there's something a 62 and an 80-year-old can do together right and the younger partner can still do some stuff alone absolutely I love that absolutely all right continue to Foster mutual respect for each other you know this feeling of uh oh I don't know taking advantage taking for granted yeah is that what what you making Google I again no but you really want to stay consistent with your respect in words and actions appreciate each other's contributions to the relationship yeah and really celebrate each other 's uniqueness right practicing kindness and gratitude for each other every day even on Small Things y you know this morning Mark made the bed I'll be honest that doesn't happen a lot not what do you mean well I usually 20% of I'm last person out of bed so I figure I'm the person to make the bed but this morning you made the bed and it was really kind and I was very grateful my friend John won't let his wife make the bed cuz he makes it so much better than anybody he does it tight he does it tight does um all right come on on number 20 plan for the unexpected so plan for it at least discuss it right so discuss and prepare for unforeseen events financial problem a health problem a death of of uh a friend and you need a continuously plan for emergencies you really have to be you have to talk about everything that could potentially happen so at least you've talked about it and when it happens if it happens you're not totally taken by surprise and really just stay adaptable to life surprises right this time of life there will be some surprises but building a support system with you and your spouse together for tough times you know really really helps and it helps you maintain a positive outlook through all those challenges and this next one is really what's saved our marriage really cultivating a sense of humor I'm the class clown I'm the Joker I create all of the happiness around the house because I get you to laugh every day you really believe that no but we do push ourselves on sense of humor look we're laughing now laugh together regularly see I just did I think it's more important Mark does think he's the funniest man alive you know he'll always say I'm so funny and I'm like yeah where that one didn't land but I do think it's um important not to take yourself so seriously in this phase of life especially if you're trying new hobbies trying new activities trying new things trying new groups trying new religious whatever you're trying that's new you may or may not be good at it so don't take yourself so seriously here's what I do and it does get me in trouble I use humor to diffuse tension if there's tension I'll try to crack a joke sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't because sometimes I'll crack a joke and you'll say I can't believe he just said that right I'm trying to be serious but I I I feel tension and you know that's what I or sometimes you'll just do that laugh well yeah sometimes I just start laughing he just starts laughing and we're in the middle of like a like a tough topic and he'll just start laughing and then I just get incensed and just crazy so and I'm laughing because you're nervous I'm nervous plus I'm thinking maybe she's explained it enough when is when is she going to take a breath give me a chance to weigh in thanks so much that it could be that all right number 22 sharing responsibilities equitably right so dividing some household chores this is important as you are going to spend 7 days a week you know 24 hours a day together dividing chores fairly discussing and agreeing on decision-making process around different things and both of you showing financial responsibility yeah during this phas I think that's a pretty easy one to get your head around but it's something necessarily you have to communicate about it if someone thinks they're doing more of the household chores responsibilities than the other you need to say that right I mean I feel badly that you make the bed every day like you just said on YouTube but I I I'll I'll do it more you what I don't know I'm glad you make the bed when you make it but I made it today and I think I did a good job almost to the end all right practicing gratitude and appreciation appreciation so I journal every morning and I write down my three gratitudes my first one is always jod with a hyphen and something about her I'm grateful for and I know you sneak and look at it sometimes cuzz you live little heart signs and you leave little notes but listen I practice gratitude every day with jod and it's helped our relationship a lot when you really screw up which is rare but you have doesn't matter anymore our relationship is bulletproof I wonder if we should do a whole YouTube segment on when jod screwed up I'd love to see what very rare very rare everyone but no and ALS again I'm joking practicing gratitude and appreciation for the other person is important it doesn't hurt it's not not that hard to say thank you and it doesn't have to be big acts it can be small acts of kindness thank you for making the bed thanks for emptying a dishwasher thanks for cooking dinner right right that's what I want to hear more of okay um keeping a gratitude Journal together I haven't really looked in your Journal you have it am I in there you're in there you and little rucious all right number 24 investing in personal development you know I think it's important and we've done some research that it is important to encourage each other's individual growth you know supporting the new hobbies or educational Pursuits that one or the other of you might want to do and share some learning insights with your partner as you go along the way we we're the king and the queen of this we are so into personal development we can't wait to get our hands on a new book that someone recommended to us we do a lot of reading for you guys I mean all of these these 25 came from books and research so we invest a lot in personal development not money but just time and we share it with each other and we challenge each other it really is helpful all right so here's number 25 and then stay tuned because we have the five action steps we're going to leave you with celebrate your milestones and your retirement achievements celebrate your retirement mileston Milestones yeah we're married uh 14 years it's past August coming on 15 next year I'm 67 you'll be 40 2 I'll be 42 I love that idea I know but I think reflecting on your journey and your grow together is important and we do talk about this a lot we've come a long way from 15 years ago or 17 years ago whatever and you know we're always readapting rethinking about our future milestones and and and really these retirement experiences that we're having we try to share them with each other you know whether it's hey I'm really nervous I'm joining a ladi's golf league I you know I'm not a great golfer I'm just a learner but and I don't know a person there and I'm nervous but I shared that with you in a vulnerable way um you know you said you know just go get them but go get them go get them you go you got it you go you got it but um okay so here are the five action steps five action steps you can take to build a healthy marriage first one can't say it enough open and honest communication you want to schedule regular uninterrupted uninterrupted time to talk about your day your feelings and your concerns and the other person needs to practice active listening empathy and understanding and again show your appreciation and gratitude every single day I agree number two is joint financial planning we don't do financial planning but reviewing and adjusting your retirement budget together being transparent about spending habits and financial goals and plan for any long-term needs including your health care needs these are really that's really important to do and I think it's it's an important step for everyone it is shouldn't be any undisclosable your financial situation no surprises number three prioritizing health and wellness cannot emphasize this enough communication knowing your finances and being Health um health conscious is really really important we we have a joint exercise routine you know pickle ball and golf and golf isn't really exercise but we do physical activ together we eat together so we adopt a healthy diet we walk together we go to the doctors together um we support each other with our medical concerns and you know we do stress reducing activities you do yoga I do meditation mindful walk so prioritizing health and wellness will lead to a healthier marriage and the fourth thing is to cultivate those shared and individual interest is interests you know identify hobbies and activities you can do to together and encourage and support each other to pursue individual passions I think we talked about that one enough but that's a really important one number five this is it might be hard for you guys but regular relationship check-ins we do it every day we check in with each other every single day I'll admit this morning was a little bit rough this morning was a little crazy a little rough rough um and you know we didn't really get a chance to talk about it but we kind of aired it today on on here so I feel better you know I didn't get a kiss this morning but that's all right but celebrate your accomplishments and Milestones in your marriage revisit and revise your goals but gosh just have a check-in on how you're doing as a couple so listen we covered a lot here today and we hope you made some notes and have a good list to start working on your marriage together so if you like this video this next one don't make these marriage mistakes will be great to watch we outline all the mistakes that you can make that you shouldn't and it really complements what you learned here today so watch this next
Why do People Struggle the First Year in Retirement? We were surprised!
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the first year of retirement isn't always the dreamy Escape many people imagine no it's not maybe one of the most significant transitions in your life it was for us and it probably is going to be for you and that's because it's filled with all the unexpected challenges roadblocks and adjustments you have to make in this new pH and I think it's really important to understand that if you fail to navigate this first year you might find yourself questioning your entire decision to retire and today we're going to give you some strategies to feel empowered to overcome any of the struggles you might find do we ever feel like we made a mistake and we should still be working I do sometimes do you I do back in your corporate life I oh my good I do I know but listen and I'm sure some people do maybe but if you're new here I'm Mark Rollins and this is my wife Jody Rollins we don't focus on the financial aspects of retirement but rather life lifestyle Health relationships and more and we're so happy you're here today and it really would be helpful to us if you could share this video with anyone else that you know or care about that's in their retirement Journey too and you know join our free Facebook community at retirement transformed we go live each week and offer guidance support strategies to make this chapter the best it can be so before we jump in I want to remind you that this first year of retirement really sets the foundation for all the future years to come so you want to be able to equip yourself with the knowledge that you need you want to stay proactive and embrace this new Journey with a lot of confidence you know we know dozens of people who are floundering in this first year of retirement and it's really not pretty to watch I was at a bridal shower this past weekend and a woman across the table from me said um you know I heard her talking to someone else and she said I'm terrified and I thought oo this will be an interesting conversation we're at a bridal shower I'm not sure what there is to be terrified about but she's a teacher and this is her last year so in June she's done done after 35 years of teaching the third grade and she said I'm I'm literally terrified I don't know where to start that is scary and it it's scary for everyone I'm not saying it's scarier for a teacher or doctor whatever but if this is all you've known and you know teachers have a special kind of thing they they work from the middle of August through the end of June and then I have the summer off right and you do that for 30 40 years right and it's a routine that you're comfortable with and you get enjoy it you get fulfillment right what do you how do you feel that so the first year is really really important to get that right my dad screwed it up big time I mean he without a doubt he's a good example of someone who made a lot of mistakes in his first year and I you know I I tell people that retirement actually killed my dad because he just didn't know how to get through this first year and set himself off in a spiral which yeah he was he was unprepared and a lot of people do enter this phase of their life maybe prepared financially but unprepared emotionally and with all of the kind of red flags that start to come their way you know your dad really just couldn't reinvent himself he lived in the used to world yeah it was it was bad but you know we do know plenty of people who think this phase is easy and for some people they actually make the transition smoothly but for others like my dad you know like I said it can actually kill you if you don't really get it right so we should cut the mystery and jump into what people really struggle with yeah and I think the first thing we see in people that we know and clients that we have and talks that we have given as well as the research that we do is this major loss of identity that hits you probably a week or two after you retire ire yeah and for a long time whether you're a teacher or a doctor or a lawyer or an insurance agent or a corporate executive we derived a lot of our selfworth from our job roles right I mean that's just the way it was and it you know when you first got out of college and started your job it was one thing but by the time you ended up you were at a much higher very senior level in your company and that was your identity and when that identity no longer exists you really find yourself in a strange danger zone right you know without an identity in retirement you can have feelings of worthlessness and and really have a hard time finding your purpose and passion so it's really a reinvention of source so in your first year this is going to happen you're going to lose your identity and you really need to start thinking about creating a new one you don't want to go too long like my dad did and spend the next 10 years holding on to or feeling sad about losing your identity you want to make a new one it's really really important now the other thing that people struggle with in the first year of retirement is financial concerns and that's normal right because you're moving from a time in your life when you have a steady paycheck or an expense account or whatever it might be health insurance all of that is just coming at you automatically yeah and then it stops it does stop and then you have your nest egg and Market volatility can add to your stress you know if you've planned properly up to that moment but then have to make different financial decisions moving forward maybe riskier or less risky Investments depending on you know how you're advised you find yourself in a little bit of a budgeting process that becomes really crucial to how you're going to live this first year well it's a good point and we spend 30 40 Years of our life accumulating assets right just adding to it adding to it adding to it 401 okay whatever it might be but then that stops and now you go into this new phase called uh decumulation where you're actually taking your savings and your assets and living on that and that is mentally is a really hard financial concern so in the first year you've really got to make sure that you figure that out and get comfortable with it and have a good plan a good financial plan or you know really nail your financials yeah really and then you know we hear a lot from people you know that they're bored they're bored in retirement you know they don't really have a routine that they can stick to and they really struggle that first year getting away from you know the the structure and accountability that they had with their work days just this morning I was down watching the sun come up and I ran into my friend who retired a year ago and he keeps himself busy but you know I was checking with him and say how's it going cuz it's it's okay it's okay how's your you know how's your new uh career that you're doing he's a he's a writer now and he's writing he said well it's interesting you know I watch you guys on YouTube and you talk a lot about um having routines and I find that it's easier not having a routine which it is but then he doesn't do what he wants to do which frankly is harder if you don't have some routines built in and some plans for your day in the first year of retirement you're going to get used to not having routines you're going to get used to not getting things done and you're not going to like it you just are not going to like it so I think that it's easier to have routines maybe harder to get moving in that direction but once you have them your life becomes so much easier I don't know how you think about no I I agree with you I do know we get a lot of push back on people who want to just abandon routine because they've lived 35 or 40 years in a strict routine and I really advise people I think it's okay to let it go for a little while but not too long so that you know as they say the proverbial horse is out of the barn and now you can't get it back you wake up every day what am I going to do today that is not a good position to be in for a whole year for sure now the other thing that you can struggle with and you might struggle with right out of the box when you leave your career is social isolation I know for me I had you know 80 people working in my company I was the CEO and I had great relationship with these people and it was kind of like Fridays were what are you going to do this weekend what's going to happen Mondays were how was your weekend what did you do how are the kids how are the grandkids all of this stops right and then it's just you and me I really I really it's important to remember that um you know those relationships that you had at work even extending out to you know I knew a lot of you know my co-worker spouses and their children and I watch them grow and go through college you know you have that longevity of your story your relationship story with these folks and some of them you will bring with you but a lot of them get kind of left behind in the situational kind of friendship bucket um so the big message here is you need to is to replace it you've got to find Community whether it's joining a health club or you know we do pickle ball we talk about that a lot going back to church or religious institution Social Clubs community centers Gym classes gym classes reaching out to your friends make a list of all your friends and start contacting them because you don't want to struggle with social isolation in your first year it's really going to bring you down you know and the fourth thing that we really wanted to talk about was your health and physical activity because I know we did this when we retired you know we were like you know we're just going to go ahead and relax and eat and drink and just sleep late and you know we got a little sluggish there for a while and it wasn't healthy for us and we did course correct and um you know not saying seven days a week you know 30 days out of the month we're always on track we do stay on the health and wellness you know Mission because as you age health challenges come your way it just happens well the other big thing that you could find yourself struggling with is when you first retire in your first year depending upon your circumstances with your partner in in this case jod and I as a married couple that relationship can struggle because we both had work we had our careers we had time at home but every all the Dynamics change when both of you now are home all day long and Frank of this business for us is really helpful because it gives us something to do together but we also do a lot of things on our own we do and and you know while the business is helpful it adds stress and boundaries become even more important I think so if you're starting a business in retirement which we should maybe do a series on that we are we definitely are because there is some Milestones that we uncovered well the other thing that people struggle with in the first year is getting used to setting goals like you said a lot of people say gosh you guys do all this planning and stuff but you need to if you don't set some goals for yourself because you were used to that during your career right you set work rated Milestones um you might find yourself without goals a little bit aimless and at least having personal goals on your physical or whatever it might be yeah I think the big difference with goals is now you have a chance to hold yourself accountable and your goals can be aimed at things that you're really interested in right and then if you're really interested in for example I've been trying to I've been practicing I don't know that I'll ever end the practice but you know different things in yoga and I set goals for for myself no one else is holding me accountable I mean you would have no idea no I but you come home and you tell me about the new stances like the the the one-legged chicken is that one of the things it is not one but we'll do a whole another yoga series I guess well I think again having goals is really important and you know just a a couple more things your emotional well-being it's easy to get in this first year and all of a sudden find yourself sad and down and cre uh you know that stuff will will creep into your life if you're not doing everything we said you know what's funny about this this emotional well-being one because I'm so sad all we actually had a little bit of a tussle this morning you think and sometimes I wonder if in retirement you have more time to think about things mhm and you know maybe you create a mountain out of a mole hill you think no no no what is this I didn't do that yes you did my finger never you're the one that built this huge mountain this morning out of a mole hill so you know I wonder if this is something to really focus on you know you know recognize emotions that you have and consider even you know seeking some counsel on it so now I need a therapist for our relationship this this whole first year of retirement can be very very difficult without a doubt definitely it's meant to be fun and exciting so we don't want to find ourselves in a rut and unsure what to do next yeah I mean trust us when it when we tell you if you get into some good rhythm in your first year the rest of your retirement can become all that you dreamed of like our retirement right that's so funny we hope you enjoyed this video and if you did this next one a happy retirement is in your control we talk about how to bring healthy habits into your life so that you can flourish in retirement so watch this one next
One’s Retired. One’s Not. How to Survive the Retirement Transition.
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Rhythm plays a big part in successful marriages when both Partners work or even when one works they have lives outside of their relationship together and these Separate Lives become part of their identity even if one of the spouses is a stay-at-home partner they usually by now have had routines that work really well both in the home and outside of the home and when One retires the Rhythm is a bit disrupted to say to the least it could be a tornado the peaceful Harmony is gone and replaced by some chaos and stress you know it's funny we just started watching a new show on TV called shrinking husband and wife are in the kitchen life's been a stay-at-home she's got a routine she she does rocks what does she do polishes she's all this stuff the husbands I don't know I forget what he is a lawyer or something like that but he's just about to retire and he's in the kitchen and the wife looks at him and says hey look it or more like this hey look it Derek Derek before you retire you need to find something to keep you out of the house each day I've been running this house for 30 years and I don't want my life disrupted and it's funny because his response was no I've been out of the house for 30 years and now I think you need to find something outside the house it's my time to be home that was actually pretty fun it was pretty funny but you can see without some tools this could be a rocky start to the retirement phase right so there's a way to smooth this transition and let's get into some ways that people can do this so that you don't find yourself really in a tough spot and the first way without a doubt is like those two just did communicate expectations well I don't think they did that very well well they started a conversation they started a conversation there's got to be verbal conversation about this you can't hope things are going to work out you've got to say what your expectations are because there's going to be a lot of difference of opinion on what they want to do yeah a lot of change is coming right and you know 50 percent of couples differ on what they want to do in retirement and that can impact them in a lot of ways and even financially so way before you retire five years before you need to start talking about this as a couple right right and even even ask yourself ask your partner as ask yourself first maybe and ask your partner some questions you know what do you dream about in retirement you know where do you want to live yeah how about downsizing do we want to downsize which is a big one yep and if you have kids where do they fit in right and grandkids these are all important issues that you need to talk about as a couple really in the initial phase or pre-retirement would be a great time to talk about it right and I know during our career we had a tough time fitting in date night with the responsibility of the kids and all of that I think date night and retirement's almost just as important if not more important to have a little bit of time to check in well because a lot of people feel you're spending 24 hours a day seven days a week together now there's no real reason to create that special time to check in but we're saying there is and what's our special time we have coffee every morning markets up super early I do not I get up at six and we have about 30 or 45 minutes every morning before we start well you've already started your routine but before I really started every morning we do that and we talk about you know how are we feeling we check in with each other what are our dreams for today this week this month we plan our day it's just it really gives us a chance to always check in which is really helpful for us and maybe that's something you want to try so communicate and communicate often and stay in touch is one big piece another big piece is finances you know finances are an area of disruption in marriages and certainly an area of disruption in retirement who is going to deal with the money matters who's going to pay the bills and do you agree on Money Matters yeah well it's true there was a study we found by Fidelity Investments from 2021 that said 25 percent are couples 25 percent of couples are irritated by their spouse's pen spending habits and relationship with money and that's before retirement right so that irritation enhances even more once you retire because many of you are retiring and you've already built your nest egg and many of you are working with a financial planner which is great so you have knowledge of your finances but when you retire it takes getting used to not having that steady paycheck right and when it stops there are some areas you need to focus on and adjust yeah I mean there's things like taxes your monthly expenses you know do you still need you know all the fancy cable travel plans do we really want to do that big trip or not but you need to save for it right you know downsizing dreaming of a second home you know one of the big ones that our financial planner has really pushed on us is this idea of withdraw stress strategies right making sure that you know before you could just hit the ATM and you know you had income coming in you could withdraw whenever you wanted now it's a little different well also the 401K right Social Security optimizing that when's the right time to do that and having a rainy day fund for unexpected medical expenses right right so okay so the third broad category is establishing boundaries right so this is again this is your bread and butter no it isn't this is again under the big topic of topic of keeping Harmony As you move into retirement right you have to find a way to ex to respect each other's time especially if one's still working and the other isn't you know your space you know one house with two separate schedules potentially if you're retiring at different times you know how you're going to spend your down time you know your TV time your reading time your cooking time yeah because even your cleaning time if one of you is working and you're working from home and one of you is like bound and determined to vacuum the whole house every morning at nine it's just not gonna work you know so you have to adopt each other's schedule you know for me it's important to find a place and a time for a long time time for separate friends outside of the house and all of these need boundaries and agreement so you don't find yourself banging up against each other doing each other's activities it creates stress and you don't need that you know we have friends who are actually clients of ours and she was a teacher and he's run his business a sports marketing firm out of their home for years she was a teacher so she was gone from seven to five every day let's say and now she's home and she's doing everything she's she loves to do she's hosting Mahjong and swim parties and lunch with friends she's taken a cooking class well all of that is happening in their house which is giving her really good fulfillment because she's amazing amazing he's like what's going on but he's trying to run a business in the same space so that's an example of where boundaries and communication really needs to come in you really want to respect each other's activities and priorities and space so you don't again step on each other's toes yeah so that the fourth big category of advice that we have in this in this in this arena is what what is your division of labor now that one of you is retired how do you split the chores who's going to cook who's going to shop who's going to pay the bills this is a whole new conversation I think at this point you can't make Grand assumptions that now that you're retired you're going to do all of that yeah and that's true and the other and I think what you want to make sure you do is do what you pick the things that you're good at and you like to do I love to cook I don't really like to shop well hangout I'm good at shopping I don't love it no but but I'm good at it yeah I'm good at cooking and you love it I do love it you don't love shopping who loves grocery shopping I'll take the shopping over too oh cooking and shopping cooking and shopping wow that's a win for me today here's the other thing and I don't I don't know what it's like in your house but I'm the I'm the guy that fixes stuff yeah so what I don't want to get from Jody every morning is a list of things that have to get fixed home repairs house maintenance car repairs you know there there are things that have to get done your car needs to go in and that's my responsibility I need I need to do it but I don't want a list right to put under my nose every day but this idea of talking about who's going to do what and it's not just about chores and cooking and bills but even who's responsible for scheduling activities who's a social butterfly that's right or me right so I end up doing you know golf dates pickleball dates dinner arrangements travel arrangements and that's fine I do actually like doing those things so that helps us stay in our Rhythm you know in the beginning we talked about how couples find a natural Rhythm that will take them through many years of their marriage and maybe the one that you had worked and worked well but the newly retired person shouldn't get a free ride on being engaged in the Rhythm yeah you know we've we have clients that get in trouble with this because you've got that example on the TV show shrinking uh where you've got someone who's in charge of the house and has her routine and everything's going really well and then the retired spouse comes in and says all right so what are we going to do all day right and they're like well no you do your thing I'll do my thing I'll meet you later for dinner so you have to be really careful you do but the other big thing is this whole idea of one person retiring before the other it's going to create a lot of change in your life and you need to understand that the change is going to come it's going to create friction and stress so if that's happening the right thing is happening you just need to walk your way through it and talk about it the person who's retiring you know the person who retired earlier stayed home has interest hobbies and groups and friends the new person retiring needs to create new interests new hobbies new groups and new friends we think so right because that's the way you build community and you stay active what you want to make sure that you're doing is if one is working and one is retired and the retiring spouse is crushing it in all those areas you want to make sure you're looping in the working spouse so people you know don't feel left out you all of a sudden have new friends and new interests and new hobbies which is awesome but remember to Loop in the working spouse too and I think the other thing is you've got to keep your relationship alive and healthy it's really important when one of these changes takes place that you're dedicating enough time to each other to show you care about them you're concerned about them and you love them back to your point on date night don't I do that well you do you always feel loved I do oh good good so look retirement is something we all look forward to and we deserve to find ways to make it the best years of our life and we really want to be able to live in harmony with our partner and if you've just retired or it's coming up soon make sure to follow some of our advice here and importantly make sure you're starting to talk about this phase of life with your partner or spouse to share your dreams and aspirations now if you enjoyed this video check out this next one the truth about early retirement what they don't tell you this is a great video we talk about the endless opportunities that exist and you aren't getting any younger now might be the right time to retire so check out this video next
Single Retirement (7 Tips to Ward off Loneliness)
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there's 10 000 people turn in 65 every day and one half of this population is reaching this age on their own so you're not alone in this phase you need to know that you aren't alone but retiring solo does increase your risk of actually being lonely which can have detrimental impact on your health today we're going to talk about retiring alone or the new buzzword of solo retirement so if you're watching this and you say well that doesn't apply to me and you're a woman stay tuned the reason i say that is unfortunately seven out of ten or seventy percent of baby boomer aged women actually outlive their husbands what are you gonna do with that why are you laughing what are you gonna do without me i don't know what i'll do with that party anyway there's 10 000 people turning 65 every day and one half of this population is reaching this age on their own so you're not alone in this phase you need to know that you aren't alone but retiring solo does increase your risk of actually being lonely which can have detrimental impact on your health so this idea of emotional loneliness you know that people over 65 who suffer from that they have an 18 increase in their mortality rates which is scary so today we'll give you seven strategies to help ward off loneliness and overcome isolation to live a more fulfilling life as a solo retiree so here's the first strategy and this is really important overcoming your financial insecurities now if you are a single woman now or a single person and you're retiring and you don't really have a handle on your finances that's a problem and you're going to be stuck and stifled and not be able to move forward so you need to hire a financial planner and understand your finances and frankly if you're a couple watching this and one of the two of you really gets finances well and the other one doesn't that's not a good place to be no if you're listening to this both of you should pay attention and share the financial information as well as the financial burdens now because ultimately if you listen to that first statistic if you're a woman 70 of us will end up as a solo retiree outliving our partner that's just the medical history that's just the facts you know there are friends down the street who purchased the house from this elderly couple and unfortunately her husband passed away and she decided she wanted to downsize she went to sell the house they got all the way down the road to the closing right and realized he had never changed the title of the house so it took another three months to close and it's just because she had no idea they weren't really sharing the information so it is really important yep so get your finances in order we're not financial planners but definitely find one that was strategy number one strategy number two create a small support group of peers like mark said you're not alone there are many other people in the same place and you want to be able to share your struggles and successes with them yeah because it's it's tough to be alone and it's tough to really be alone but if you can be alone with another person who's alone then you're not alone anymore right that makes sense right kind of yeah good theory i mean you could do weekly coffee you know pick up a class or do some exercise or even just take a long walk it's important to make sure that you connect and have a group of peers yeah relationships are key and having a support group really helps so strategy three is along the lines of that but we're really suggesting that every day you talk to someone on the phone and person whatever it might be make sure you have a conversation with another human being every single day and it might make sense to make a list of people that you can call absolutely makes sense you know friends and family and neighbors you know and never feel like you're imposing and like mark said don't let a day go by that you're not involved in a conversation now it's always better in person because it feels better but if you can't be in person bad weather you know covet kept us all locked up a little bit at least call but be there and frankly what's helpful is not only for you to reach out to get some communication help but be the one supporting other people that's a great way to start having some conversations in a peer group that you're leading it so connect with someone every day strategy number four have a daily plan and a schedule something that adds structure to your life so that you're not always wondering what am i going to do today what's the morning going to be like how am i going to make it through the afternoon really set the tone from the day in the morning now good habits and routines are important and i know a lot of people that like to get up they've worked their whole life and they're retired now and they want to get up and just have a cup of coffee and watch tv watch a little more tv have some more coffee but before you know it it's 11 o'clock and you haven't talked to anybody and you really haven't done much so setting some schedule and some time some self-care time with friends and frankly limit tv i mean i you know watching tv every morning from 7 a.m till noon it's not healthy no but you could even schedule some time to learn to pick up a class to go to the library to read to children to find things in your community that you could do to be helpful and that makes you not alone and isolated so here's the fifth strategy and you've heard this from us so many times and it just makes so much sense this one does come up in a lot of our videos because it helps in so many areas of your life the fifth strategy is exercise every single day move your body move it get up and move it do you know that if you walk 20 minutes a day every day for 20 minutes you can add five years to your life so what about walking with a friend and 20 minutes that's easy walk for 30 minutes with someone and have a chat and catch up so you're now you're exercising and you're communicating with someone you know as we all age movement does become harder but you need to be as active as you can and just know that you can do 20 minutes a day so we hope you do that take it seriously so now let's talk about strategy number six volunteering you know there's so many benefits with volunteering and it's become such a huge part of our retirement transformation program and you know we do bring it up a lot volunteering sharing your wisdom creating your community you know providing yourself with fulfillment sharing and searching your passions we bring that up a lot but it does help with this loneliness and the potential for isolation you know you instantly can find a community of people when you start to volunteer and it could be as basic as working at the local food bank or the library or something but you're going to find dozens of other people in the same position you are in looking for communities so it's really important to give this a shot absolutely strategy number seven would be to try new things learn technology mark and i did a talk one day and there was a bunch of people in the room and one lady raised her hand talking because we were bringing up this strategy about learning technology her name was ava she raised her hand and she talked about the world that technology opened to her allowing her to connect with her family over in italy and how they structured it how she learned face time how she learned zoom how she learned to be able to work all of the technology in her house to really ward off that loneliness and you know how she did it remember her story she got one of her grandchildren to sit with her and work on the iphone with her to learn how to do face time she couldn't believe in her mind that it could happen and then in the end how easy it was for her right so but it really made her feel connected and less lonely and i think utilizing technology in that way is really smart and learn from a younger person it's nice in a community to have people your own age and people younger so and while you're learning technology look for online courses that are out there look for some online learning that can engage you i did that when i went to the university of pennsylvania and i took an entire online online course and i got to zoom in with other kids college kids college kids and i was the old lady but that was great and i made a lot of great contacts doing that no a big thing to remember is you're not alone you can ward off this loneliness but you need to be proactive work on the seven strategies we just mentioned above and listen if you enjoy this please share with your friends and also please subscribe by clicking the subscribe button below don't forget to join our free facebook community the link is down below and it's very interactive where jody and i go live each week you get to ask questions and we can communicate with each other and thanks for listening and we look forward to seeing you again
Transitioning to Retirement Part 1 (5 to 10 years before retirement)
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What we created for you is a three-part series that we'' re regarding to launch today is five to 10 years prior to retirement as well as in the future you ' ll see the one to five years and then that 12 month out when it ' s go time today is all regarding the change right into retirement you recognize when you assume of the word retirement in some cases you think of points like obtaining old being pointless or resting on a beach drinking pina colada that sounds a little up day long occasionally you believe regarding golf 3 days a week or treating every day like a saturday but the reality is it'' s an extremely hard change going with this transition with some planning initiative routines as well as routines that offer you will certainly yield remarkable results as well as the contrary if you leave it to opportunity and just show up it can be dreadful you might find yourself feeling rudderless with truly no idea what to do every day so what we created for you is a three-part collection that we'' re regarding to launch today is 5 to ten years prior to retirement as well as in the future you'' ll see the one to five years and then that 12 month out when it'' s go time you understand we'' re going to give you four essential approaches that you can utilize right now to guarantee success again i understand you'' re 10 or 5 years out however it'' s really vital so we ' re going to offer you those techniques as well as after that at the end of this video we ' re going to give you five activity steps that you have to implement right now now you know mark as well as i have found out a whole lot over the past 13 years and also we'' ve had our fair share of failures successes we have a list of points we would do differently as well as a really lengthy listing of things we'' ve found out and you know we want to far better prepare you for this outstanding improvement so why put on'' t we begin with the initial technique and the first one you ' ll be acquainted with it ' s intending put on ' t roll your eyes yeah you understand individuals state why would i have to prepare for my retirement well below ' s the point you ' ve had a long profession i ' m certain my profession was 38 years i prepared every day every week every month every quarter every year every five years so we ' re all utilized to preparation as well as the correlation is this stage can last 30 years so why would certainly you not plan a good place to start would certainly be to get a journal and we'' re going to talk even more about journaling in the next episode the next series one to five years out since it'' s vital so the 2nd essential approach would be understanding the dangers as well as just how to deal with them so you may state to yourself what risks are there in retirement as well as i'' ll tell you we ' ve done study on the large three the first is loss of identification you no much longer have your chief executive officer card or your head of state card or your head of sales card or your workplace or your email or your team yeah or your branding you recognize you walk into a room and also there ' s jody she ' s svp of chubb blah blah blah that goes away so you do shed your identification the second of the huge three of threats is your loss of community all of your pals and your customers as well as your situational relationships your dining establishments you went to the maitre d'' s you recognized the resorts you frequented at occasions you know you lose that community as well as that'' s a big deficit right and the third one the 3rd risk of getting in retired life or when you go into retirement is you'' re going to obtain 40 or even more brand-new complimentary hrs that come your method which feels liberating it does feel liberating yet you have to figure out what to do with them we have a terrific video clip youtube we did on time abundance in retired life so we can put that web link down below as well yet the third method after beginning to get familiar with the dangers is beginning to assume regarding a vision for this stage as well as if you'' ve been following us for a while you recognize we chat a great deal about 5 pillars physical wellness mental wellness connections spouse companion connections as well as knowledge sharing as well as the sixth one that we'' ve been really batting around which isn'' t in our vernacular right now yet it'' s actually the community and also how to construct a community for on your own throughout this space because you put on'' t desire to do this alone so five to ten years out we want you to think concerning the columns we desire you to believe about where you are with each of the pillars where are you with your physical health your mental wellness you recognize where are you with your partnerships as well as so on currently'' s the time to begin the idea procedure and also spend the following 5 or 10 years thinking regarding them making them part of who you are the 4th method is to begin believing about routines as well as routines as well as actually drill down on what is offering you well what are you requiring to quit what are some brand-new behaviors that you may want to draw into your retirement and into this next phase of life as well as your preferred early morning routine you know my early morning routine our early morning routine during our career obtain up have a cup of coffee enjoy a little news do as many emails as we might before we could obtain to work capture up on all of that i was going to say there was making lunches as well as finding football clothing however then leaping in the automobile and going to function right you know your initial day at residence that first monday when you'' re sitting there you put on ' t have that you ' re could be vacant nesters like we were so you look throughout from each various other so you want to start assuming about your early morning routine now and also maybe start to change it and you also desire to kind of take supply of the routines as well as routines that you have now as well as exactly how are they going to equate into retirement and also i'' ll give you an example a behavior i had when i was going out to supper amusing clients was well very first you rest down and also you buy a bottle of white wine if i did that practice every time i went out to dinner during retirement i'' d be consuming a dreadful whole lot of a glass of wine is that a practice that i want to pull into the following 30 years or conserve it for unique well we should pull that in for the initial six months that drops under the failure one more category yeah it was a failing but anyhow so if you execute work on these 4 strategies for the next you recognize 5 years you'' re going to begin to obtain some clearness on retirement what must i worry about what am i thrilled regarding what'' s it going to look like and also you'' re going to have comfort in recognizing more about what'' s out there than possibly you'do currently you ' ll likewise obtain a higher sense of what success is going to look like for you that ' s a huge one individually for the following 30 years and you recognize the really large one is it will certainly assist you refine and also pierce down on what will your purpose be yeah and also your enthusiasm objective and also interest we hear those words used all the time yeah and also right currently throughout your occupation if you'' re still in it you'' ve obtained function as well as you might have interest around your work yet enthusiasm in retired life where'' s that going to live for you and then the various other thing that comes out of doing all of this job is being in control of your life you don'' t want to just let everything happen between currently and also the day you walk out the door without being aggressive with every little thing that you do and you know it takes courage to be in control of your life it takes courage to be in control of your very own schedule as well as your own day as well as you have 30 years to work that out so pay attention if you'' re obtaining worth out of this please share offer it a thumbs up as well as copy the web link listed below as well as share it with your good friends so allow'' s do the 5 action steps 5 action steps that you must do currently the very first point satisfy as well as work with a monetary planner you know we can'' t highlight this enough as well as also if you ' re a wise monetary individual and you manage your supplies and also all of that it'' s so excellent to have an outdoors independent third celebration aid look at your advantages your pension plan your 401k um as well as that'' s not us it ' s not us no no we don ' t do anything in this location we have a financial planner and also it just allows us to understand that that is clear as well as it likewise you get to understand do you have adequate money to retire that'' s constantly vital what'' s your date right what day do you have in mind yeah since you never ever think you have adequate cash right however the economic strategy will assist you if you'' re going to live this means you have plenty of cash the 2nd activity step if you'' re wed or you have a partner i can not emphasize adequate interaction what is your consolidated vision you can'' t wait till the day after you stroll out of your workplace to begin to share what that is to your partner or partner as well as i'' ll yeah i ' ll tell you this is an area where lots of pairs stop working big time they both had tasks they both were fantastic all they spent their weekend breaks with each other and also nights however all of an unexpected currently they'' re with each other all day long and also the wife has one vision as well as the partner has one more and it'' s and also actually on any type of one of the pillars yeah they can have different visions on physical health or connections or you recognize anything that has to do with retirement so the secret is start chatting concerning it currently right you don'' t want to wait up until you'' re house the initial day after retirement to begin figuring out what your vision'' s going to be now the 3rd one is to believe about just how you'' re going to show up in the five pillars we mentioned so what do i suggest by revealing up exactly how are you going to enter retirement literally right mentally with your partnerships undamaged or not you know how are you going to show up with your spouse partner you have to make a concerted initiative to reveal up in the right means and the fourth step call some of your retired close friends see what they'' re simply in fact fun it is enjoyable i keep in mind going down to florida to play golf with my friends and also the older guys from our club were there as well as what'' s it like what do you do and also well every day is like a saturday however you understand i could see they actually weren'' t that healthy not all of them were were doing what what i believed made feeling however i simply figured that'' s what takes place as well as ask him some challenging questions yeah what do you love concerning it what are your lows like what are your highs like you know have you developed an area of like-minded people and if you have exactly how did you do it just how did you figure out where to live all of those things yet they'' re an excellent resource for you and also the fifth step begin having a conversation concerning scaling down or we could call it appropriate sizing this is another location where families run into trouble so simply begin imagining what life can be if you'' ve got the huge 5 family members residence with a 5 bedroom residence for all the kids full shower rooms and all that you recognize as they begin to leave the nest which you want them to do do you truly need a house that big and also maybe you do yet the suggestion right here is to decide do you want to continue to have that huge home as well as if the decision is yes then that'' s good right however not understanding is bad right one of the things we did as we took a trip around we uh that'' s why just how we ended up in in connecticut we came below for summer seasons on our boat and we liked it and also so we determined to build a home yeah however we did a lot of browsing we did a whole lot of googling we did a lot of reading we did a great deal of home trips we looked at a whole lot of various neighborhoods and also you will certainly locate the one that'' s right for you however i would begin early once again the day after you leave your corporate occupation or your organization is not the time to so those are five actions that we hope you do right now we'' re going to offer you three books to review speaking of learning that are important we think to check out at any type of time prior than retiring to retiring one is 2nd hill by david brooks the second is the means of change by william bridges and also one of my faves is the five love languages by gary chapman it'' s simply an excellent interaction publication as well as we'' ll placed those web links down below fantastic reads you understand today we'' ve shared some concepts and also some methods and some actions to aid you begin this trip yet once more i can'' t stress adequate put on'' t delay even if you'' re 10 years out begin thinking currently and also right here'' s recommendations from me that'' s actually bad at testing conversations wear'' t placed them off rest down find a way to have an open dialogue and also just you understand be kind to each various other as well as listen to each various other due to the fact that everyone has an opinion as well as also don'' t neglect to watch the other 2 parts that will be behind this as well as with some initiative and some planning and also some genuine action you can enter this phase with an entire successful approach laid out if you enjoyed this please share with your close friends and subscribe by clicking the subscribe button listed below and also wear'' t fail to remember to join our complimentary facebook neighborhood the web link is in the notes listed below as well many thanks for paying attention and also we look onward to being with you once again
Top Tips to Sleep Better in Retirement
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as we age our sleep patterns modification and also it can end up being increasingly tougher to obtain a better evening'' s sleep as well as regular bad sleep brings about pretty poor Wellness you can have tiff swings bad emotional well-being kind of being irritable when you don'' t rest what no no no not me'you you ' re the one that stands up grouchy when you wear'' t sleep truly I think so huh is that you'or is it me I ' m not sure good obtaining good evening ' s rest is freaking crucial how about that in fact persistent rest starvation is linked to diabetic issues weight problems cardiovascular condition as well as immune dysfunction as well as occasionally you can'' t get good rest since your next-door neighbor is making use of a chainsaw in the middle of the afternoon when I intend to rest so I'' m sorry regarding the noise but we couldn'' t assistance that but that can absolutely affect your rest so discovering ways to boost your rest is so essential to a longer and also healthier life as well as what we intend to do today is provide you ways to obtain better and also enhance your overall feeling of wellness you understand I know it can be a struggle at times and and perhaps it'' s it ' s that your spouse or partner is snoring what maintaining you awake begin or you have a canine that rests in your bed that we have and also that can be a trouble Max is not a problem a trouble Max my snoring'' s not a problem yours is as well as Max is certainly an issue yet whatever it'is you know it ' s it ' s excellent to keep a pulse on exactly how you slept not just exactly how long you were in bed today for me I'don ' t know why but I ' ve always been an early bird because an extremely young boy yeah as well as it ' s uncommon for me to rest past 5 a.m and just recently for whatever factor I'' m standing up at 3 30
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Now I can commonly return to bed for an hour or so however sometimes I'' m up at 3 30 or 4 for the day which does use them it does it does throughout our initial 4 years of retired life we functioned actually hard to locate means to get into an excellent rhythm of sleep as well as you recognize we'' re finally starting to have some excellent success however it has actually taken a while and also at the end of this video clip so please remain throughout we'' re mosting likely to share with you our rest routines that you don ' t have to copy them yet there'' s components of it that you may find practical due to the fact that it'' s a lot different than when we were functioning as well as these new regimens that we'' ve carried out are really offering us a great night'' s rest so allow ' s dive deep on why rest is so crucial and also the initial thing is specifically as you age I believe yeah yeah however it'' s vital to children too I imply I just believe sleep is essential simply to all alright well allow'' s deal with infant rest today so anyway the first reason is bad rest certainly influences your physical health yeah you covered that a bit in the beginning right and it might seem apparent but individuals that have bad sleep practices simply accept it and also they have no suggestion the damages it could be doing to their body to their relationships and also to their their total health yeah so you can'' t simply say well I only obtain 6 hours of rest a night as well as I feel bad all the time well I haven'' t obtained ta repair it I have a great deal of good friends that just claim I'' m not a great sleeper as well as they simply sort of compose it off and they believe that ' s simply the method it needs to be and also it doesn'' t however as you age we come to be a lot more prone to particular sorts of illness as well as sufficient '' s immune system your hormone policy and your cardio health so make it a top priority yeah the various other point poor sleep does it impacts our cognitive wellness I like that word cognitive Health cognitive wellness assist words cognitive you were saying cognitive aid assist alright great rest is essential for us to maintain our memory intact our ability to believe plainly as well as if we have bad rest it'' s gon na enhance our opportunities of establishing cognitive decline and also dementia and also my mom had mental deterioration so this is actually crucial to me to ensure I obtain great sleep you understand so bad rest can likewise the third point is actually influence your emotional health and wellness you recognize I recognize that I feel entirely different emotionally relying on the high quality of sleep that I solve I can tell when I wake up if I'' ve been kept awake all night by somebody snoring and also the last point is pores what why do you simply always try to move that in I I snore a little bit but I'' ve never ever listened to a recording tonight you can record me okay and after that you can play it on the following video clip appears excellent however poor sleep additionally influences our security believe regarding driving a vehicle you understand as we age and also I'' m noticing this now our reflexes reduce down I can'' t back up in a vehicle like I used to when I was 18 years old truly no I obtained ta I obtained we have mirrors as well as cams now and all that but you place poor rest on top of reflexes decreasing as well as that can have devastating results so if we'' ve persuaded you that rest is essential to concentrate on allow'' s talk concerning some of the reasons why it'' s harder to obtain great rest as we age as well as the first thing is as we mature our heart Rhythm changes body clock oh body clock yeah as well as it'' s so funny due to the fact that I will say I love this new word circadian is that what shows on our Mood ring or the Rhythm clock yeah it'' s not a cardiac Rhythm oh although it does track our cardiac it does at evening yet our circadian rhythm modifications which'' s the integrated process that regulates our appetite our energy levels and our rest that we identified through our research study and you called as it alters it can get heart you can make it harder to drop off to sleep during the night as well as make it more challenging to awaken in the early morning so circadian rhythm so create that down I don'' t need to create that a person down also I have to yeah the 2nd point is as we age our hormone degrees change you discussed that earlier however it is essential to mention it once more since our body you know as our as our bodies age they'' re going to create reduced degrees of melatonin there'' s an additional large word to make a note of this occurs to me so I take Natural melatonin supplements and also this helps me drop off to sleep much easier and also sleep even more comfortably yet it seems like I require much more maybe possibly I wear'' t recognize you'' re sleeping peacefully you ' re just loud when you do it fine we figured out by seeing with our naturopath medical professional and she'' s assisted us out with all of that sleep all-natural supplements and so we absolutely advise that but the various other thing if you'' re having bad sleep check with your doctor on your drugs on your real prescription medicines from your medical professional since they can impact your sleep yeah there'' s typical prescriptions that you could be taking like antidepressants or diuretics every one of that can disrupt your rest so you have to figure out the various other thing that can can play a huge duty in your rest is your way of living you understand your stress degrees your alcohol intake you understand when you eat your large dishes and also truly your lack of physical activity can all influence your sleep so allow'' s remain with this momentarily because on our aura calls the tracks our rest to name a few points if I have a glass of red wine as well as steak I'' m gon na have crappy sleep yeah we track it every time yes if I if we can go three or four evenings in a row with a light supper of a salad and also some protein and also no alcohol I sleep like an infant right we put a late supper in there uh a steak meat heavy and also a glass of red wine or more I'' m screwed it ' s just not gon na take place that'' s true to ensure that ' s real anyway all of that does influence your rest and you did you point out physical activity I did fine I did yeah as well as you know you should contact your doctor you recognize you may have a sleep problem that requires some interest sleep apnea uneasy leg syndrome or even insomnia is you recognize something that that can occur later in life the important things is we require to do what we can to improve our sleep okay why don'' t we share just how much rest we need do you understand well I believe it'' s an individual thing I believe some individuals can survive on Bit others make it through on 9 hours I understand when my twins were born and also I had a 20 month old I think I was making it through on 4 or five hours of sleep as well as that was probably a stretch well it'' s real um and there are you recognize you can investigate this online but the national rest Foundation mentions that many people over the age of 65 you'' re not there yet I ' m 66 on Saturday by the method that'' s right did we intend to do a birthday celebration video possibly alright um we need seven to eight hours of rest each night now like Jody stated some people can state oh I'' m okay with sex yet imagine how excellent they'' d feel if they did 7 or eight so that that'' s my disagreement to individuals like that so we I require to discover somehow a minimum of 7 hours of sleep an evening standing up at 3 30 makes it tough yet we we work with it yeah however you understand what we do we try to obtain a great evening'' s rest by adhering to a schedule or a minimum of we try to stick to a schedule you know we both try to be sleeping by 10 you rise at 5 I get up at six and also that practically manages you recognize our rest where we can obtain deep sleep rapid eye movement light sleep and have a little bit of delay time with that well things is once again I maintain speaking about the aura ring yet we we like the mood ring I get a notice on my phone depending upon just how much sleep I got the evening in the past right that currently you recognize between you'' re your best time to head to sleep tonight between 8 30 and also 9 as well as I like that alert because I enter early you as well you like it when it says anytime before 10 that'' s without a doubt when we are alone in the residence we put on'' t have visitors this is virtually what we do five evenings a week six evenings a week if we'' re not going out with any person this is what we do when there'' s company or'youngsters it ' s going to be various and we can keep up till one in the early morning currently we really feel crappy the next day however we can do it so the first thing we do is we try to control our time in bed as well as the 2nd point is we try to have our dinner done by seven right and that'' s a huge modification for US Article retired life I would certainly say pre-retirement if we began supper at 7 30 that was early yeah we we attempt to remain that 6 30 yeah and done by seven like you stated yeah as well as dinners are lighter for us and also after dinner we'' ll watch television for an hour 7 30 to 8 30.
As well as that'' s it well then yeah we wear'' t walk Max and yeah but we put on'' t spend a great deal of time on TV tonight since you wear'' t intend to do that to promote your mind'but I ' ll constantly take a warm shower I I often jump in the bath in some cases you wash we'' ll reviewed before we go to sleep I read in a chair I don'' t checked out in bed right yet this gets us kicked back before we enter into bed you understand we take actions also to ensure our room fits you know the room requires to be dark and also the space needs to be 68 degrees or cooler right as well as you recognize strangely sufficient you understand that mattress and pillows that you'' ve had for the past 25 years you might desire to take a pulse check and also see if you require to remodel those since an excellent cushion and the right cushions makes a distinction we just recently obtained um the sound maker so we have an audio equipment in an area however the funny thing is I likewise use earplugs due to the fact that I don'' t intend to hear you snoring and Max making his noise yet if I have earplugs I can'' t listen to the sound maker well I don'' t comprehend why I have a sound equipment hmm okay I'' ll need to figure that out yeah but we likewise attempt extremely tough to prevent our phones thirty minutes before going to sleep simply put on'' t do it'because it ' s going to get your mind stimulated right I ' m a side sleeper on my appropriate side pillow in between my legs and also'I'' m out yeah and also I ' m a back sleeper somehow I believe my granny as soon as informed me to sleep on my back since that'' s not aiding but most evenings this routine collections us up for an excellent evening'' s rest and you recognize the things that we have discovered that we have tagged that absolutely affect our sleep our high levels of caffeine and also alcohol for certain consuming late consuming red meat as well as viewing television specifically over promoted TV late at evening we'' re always researching new methods to enhance our rest I really just recently began wearing a mask an eye mask I suggested to bring it to as a prop does any individual get it no alright I use a mask I'' ve been doing it for concerning a month as well as it does make a difference you recognize and also we both practice meditation right so making use of headspace or tranquility you recognize excellent apps apps we make use of those as well as sometimes if we'' re both having a difficult time dropping asleep if we'' ve simply had among those days where we can'' t reduce it down we'' ll actually play aloud on one of our phones a rest story which is extremely intriguing as well as we can hear everything the method yes currently we notice a difference in that we are as well as how we appear with each other if we have excellent sleep yeah right we'' re definitely happier a lot more energetic and much more fun with each other Did we tell you we have mood rings these mood rings are wonderful it'' s something to consider it determines our Sleep High quality and also it'' s additionally the very first thing that we check in the mornings we see how we did you recognize if you'' re fighting with sleep try some of these suggestions that we'' re doing and drop some notes in the comments below if anything else you can consider to help us in this community improve sleep now if you like this video clip you'' re mosting likely to love this following one seven kinds of remainder since it'' s not simply rest that aids you get rested we discuss other type of rest like psychological remainder innovative rest social remainder and more so enjoy this following video clip
Read MoreTop Tips to Living Longer in Retirement. (You have choices!)
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you called humans we'' re living much longer however with that said longevity we have a better opportunity of passing away from chronic ailments you know back in 1900 the typical life you were born I was born in 1902 in 1900 the ordinary life span was concerning half a century old and back after that individuals passed away more than likely from a quick cause a mishap an injury or a transmittable condition it was no cure for yet a will certainly greater than likely die in our 70s or 80s 100 no but okay give or take you go you go and you want I'' m staying till 100.
And also more than likely it'' ll be from slow reasons right the one yeah we'' re going to speak about that soon however right here'' s an interesting thing that we read in New York Times recently that 50 of children birthed today will live to be a hundred isn'' t that'impressive that ' s a significant distinction and also look at think about all the modifications it'' s mosting likely to have on our society but we'' re not entering that today but people are living longer you understand we both started reviewing this great publication and also we'' ll we ' ll set up uh Web link in the notes by Peter Dr Peter attia called outlast the science and art of durability it is an unbelievable read we'' re having a lot fun looking right into it it really is it'' s threatening to pick up since it'' s a big one however in this book he defines the slow-moving reasons which he calls The Four Horsemen cardiovascular disease cancer cells neurodegenerative disease like mental deterioration Alzheimer'' s and afterwards the fourth one is type 2 diabetes and also that'' s truly pertaining to metabolic disorder so and those are the four horsemen of the slow death right and also to live longer and live better we need to better comprehend as well as face these sluggish causes of fatality I have blood pressure issues I'' ve got I enter as well as out of being as well much sugar and you know so'it ' s I ' m in the diabetic person I ' m in there experimenting with with those so'it'' s it ' s actually crucial however this we actually love this book wear ' t we yeah in this book he details really clearly that long life has 2 components how much time you live or your chronological life-span right for me that'' s a hundred that ' s the very first that'' s your goal that'' s my goal which ' s the initial component of long life yet the second component that he discusses which is equally important if not a lot more essential is your lifestyle during those years and also together this is called your wellness period and also you know he information that the existing medicine today is medicine 2.0 you recognize it'' s a large renovation over medicine 1.0 which would was truly back in the 1900s 2.0 is what we'' re taking care of today and also it has a great deal of success you know we'' ve eradicated specific illness like polio and also smallpox we'' ve contained HIV and help like in the 90s and also we'' ve made significant strides with liver disease C best so medication 2.0 is done rather well and also a great deal of it honestly is originating from the successes coming from brand-new medicines albeit costly ones yet that'' s one variable the other thing you know the injections against covid is one of the most present instance of medicine 2.0 as well as I believe that cure was figured out in 6 months just by doing it Globe bear in mind not a cure however a vaccine vaccine medication 3.0 which is the primary component of his publication right is a new method of thinking of chronic disease it'' s not to patch individuals back up as well as get them out the door or remove their lumps as well as expect the ideal right no it'' s it ' s regarding preventing the lumps from showing up and also spreading out to begin with which is really crucial as well as it'' s it ' s such a various mindset for us as we ' re beginning to consider our wellness period one it ' s not even simply a different way of thinking for all of us it ' s a different attitude for every one of medicine and also the doctors yeah we gave a copy to our physician we loved it I mean you understand in his view medication 3.0 it it positions far greater emphasis on prevention than therapy right what what it begins with and we just went with this with a new doctor we picked it it begins with us the client as a special individual I'' m not simply an additional 66 years of age man I'' m Mark Rollins and I'' ve obtained my own history I'' ve got my very own genetics genetics as well as you understand I ' m not you men your own ecological yeah I put on ' t I don ' t want outcomes or a physician telling me what I must do based upon the medical tests of all various other 66 years of age men it'' s simply not what I want yep so that'' s essential actually so you begin with the individual as well as then a truthful evaluation right and also as well as also each individual on mostly identifying what level of threat assessment are they going to take best yeah just how much danger are you mosting likely to accept in your life consisting of the danger of refraining anything ideal and that'' s a substantial threat of refraining from doing anything during this time or stage of life so so we have this info how how do we put medicine 3.0 right into layperson'' s terms are practical use that all of us can utilize what I think what is it all around ideal I believe if you can think of medicine 3.0 in Broad domains you have the power to influence and also influence these domain names today like essentially today as well as these domains are workout nutrition sleep emotional wellness and afterwards medicines hormonal agents and also supplements that you can look into or obtain some guidance on via a naturopath right so those are the five domains that you can affect as well as influence today for on your own and also this is what it goes right into deep in the book he doesn'' t hang around on drugs hormones and supplements since he feels it deserves its own publication but exercise nourishment sleep and also emotional health and also why don'' t we experience the 4 of those yeah so workout exercise is going to postpone death undoubtedly he he says it'' s much better than any other intervention that you can have is to do exercise it protects against cognitive and also physical decline so and just think of exactly how you really feel when you'' re done exercising we are crazy if we don'' t discover a way to bring exercise into our lives we just have to do it ideal I concur so I agree the second big one is nutrition right as well as we'' ve learned this by hand yet what you consume actually matters not only what you eat however how much of it and also how usually additionally matters best and also we have some photos throughout the years from holidays as well as stuff where you know our plates are about this large Thanksgiving and also they'' re concerning this full yeah right um that'' s not just how we eat today that'' s not the quantity or the top quality of food that we eat today because we find out the hard way that what you eat actually matters we eat more frequently we eat smaller quantities a great deal even more vegetables a lot much more veggies as well as our supper is a lot earlier we'' re finished with dinner at 6 30 because we just can'' t consume it later on nine o'' clock during the night we didn'' t made use of to start supper until 7 30 or 8 so that'' s a huge so the various other huge point he talks around is sleep and during rest is when your body and brain recover they repair themselves which leaves you revitalized and also ready for the next day you'' ve reached find a means to have top quality rest I will tell you if you you will sleep these days I ' ve there ' s an article everyday regarding rest sure well I'really feel like it ' s becoming like an actually huge Hot Subject right not only just how long are you in bed however how well is the top quality of Rest Quality all right so the following one is psychological wellness you understand a whole lot of individuals are living longer and also it'' s not practically living longer however it is about living better and the important things you can do to improve your happiness be much less unpleasant and also endure much less mentally am I unpleasant no I have a twitch I have a jerk I'' m most likely the least unpleasant person you are you'' re the happiest individual that I recognize as well as I'' m so happy I'' m recognizing to you I ' m the happiest individual right currently you are and also why due to the fact that we'' re doing what we enjoy to do yeah yeah so you'' re so it ' s real the the last one medicines hormones and supplements once more he doesn'' t go right into it whose publication however that is really essential we both take a great deal of supplements that was suggested to us from our naturopath physician to make sure that'' s something to consider as well so just how do we transform our health and wellness treatment and also our medicine 3.0 in an orderly way and I believe this is truly crucial so allow'' s first discuss some actions that you have the power to take particularly proactive actions right so this is a course you can handle so proactive Healthcare as opposed to relying upon signs as well as treating illness after they take place proactive Treatment intends to avoid or reduce health problems through different methods and one is preventative measures right absolutely and you can be proactive in your very own medical advocacy simply by listening to your body right yeah yet the precautionary steps that you can take as a method of being proactive we spoke about this is workout well balanced nourishment preventing tobacco and also you know excessive alcohol consumption those are safety nets to assist quit or reduce the technique of these 4 horsemen that he calls to make sure that really gathers being proactive right next there are Health screenings and also assessments that you can jump onto you understand normal testings and health and wellness evaluations that are done to determine your individual threat elements check your overall wellness and detect any kind of early indication of condition or any kind of conditions that may be on the perspective for you as well as primarily it'' s your yearly physical it ' s seeing your dental professional your physician your expert whatever it may be getting these testings as well as analyses is essential since you intend to make sure that your blood stress is getting checked you'' re getting cholesterol screenings you'' re obtaining cancer testings and there'' s this hereditary examination we didn ' t we just do we did we did 2 examinations we did we did the invite which is a genetic test that we both took that kind of check out all of our genetics to as well as we got it green light indication that was excellent and then we also did the Grail I have cancer in my family members you have a little of cancer not as much in your family members and the Grail is a minute in time but it it actually is a test to see if you have any kind of type of cancer cells in your body currently in time of 52 kinds of possible cancer yeah something like that was really intriguing we must put that link listed below as well it'' s costly but I you understand offers us peace of mind and exactly how typically we do it I put on'' t recognize right but anyway we ' ve spoke about precautionary treatment we'' ve spoke about evaluations after that there'' s Wellness monitoring you ' ve got to monitor your health and wellness moving forward so if there'' s a warning you catch it you'understand if you ' re diabetic you wish to check your blood sugar levels if you are um you understand like me as well as I'' ve obtained some heart problems I examined my blood stress right not my high blood pressure yeah my high blood pressure on a daily basis and also as well as I to use anything for that yet you and also I do have our Aura ring that tracks a great deal of that rest heart rhythm points like that yeah I do the Apple watch and also the mood ring a whole lot of individuals have the whoop however there are a great deal of gadgets around that can help you with very early identification of any discrepancy from a normal Wellness parameter that you may have you'' re searching for warnings right to ensure that you are successful of it yep so definitely so let'' s talk concerning our physician in Florida our new medical professional we want the route of concierge concierge service so we have a physician we pay her a yearly charge and now we have accessibility to her by tax and also every little thing all the time which has actually really aided a great deal as well as she um does a deep particular Health profile on both of us including our medical background any type of hereditary predis personalities whoa had a tough time with that one that might have any way of living factors and after that certainly any environmental affects that we'' ve been revealed to and after that she invests adequate time with us to recognize our unique requirements like what are we aiming to get out of our health our aggressive Health insurance plan and finally if you have one of these chronic illness you understand there are aggressive care that includes the surveillance we discussed medicine management yet truly there'' s a great deal of way of life alterations as well as education and learning that you can take and also go through to stop comp you recognize any kind of difficulties from showing up and truly boost your overall wellness making certain that you really feel fantastic you recognize living longer and healthier ought to be a goal for everybody making some day-to-day adjustments will certainly help all of us with our life-span and moving from this reactive Healthcare system that we'' re all used to Medicine 2.0 to Medicine 3.0 when we'' re truly aggressive it'' s going to take some way of life adjustments as well as some initiative but it truly actually is essential to do and also you know there'' s a lot of information here yet hopefully really equipping think about exactly how each of these domain names play in your world just how'' s your health and wellness your Health your longevity and your life-span and what ' s your strategy this was excellent this was a great conversation and also if you such as this video you'' re really mosting likely to love this one we go into terrific detail it'' s called eat much better live longer we talk about in their balance nutrition searching for nutrient thick foods and just how important hydration is so see this one following
Read MoreSingle Retirement (7 Tips to Ward off Loneliness)
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there'' s 10 000 people turn in 65 everyday and also one fifty percent of this population is reaching this age on their very own so you'' re not the only one in this phase you require to know that you aren'' t alone yet retiring solo does enhance your threat of actually being lonely which can have detrimental effect on your health today we'' re going to speak regarding retiring alone or the brand-new buzzword of solo retired life so if you'' re watching this and also you state well that doesn'' t apply to me as well as you'' re a female keep tuned the factor i state that is unfortunately 7 out of ten or seventy percent of child boomer aged women really outlast their partners what are you gon na make with that why are you laughing what are you gon na do without me i put on'' t know what i ' ll make with that celebration anyhow there ' s 10 000 people turning 65 each day and one half of this populace is reaching this age on their own so you'' re not the only one in this phase you need to understand that you aren'' t alone yet retiring solo does enhance your danger of really being lonesome which can have destructive influence on your health so this concept of emotional isolation you know that individuals over 65 that endure from that they have an 18 increase in their death rates which is frightening so today we'' ll give you seven methods to help fend off isolation and also conquer seclusion to live an extra meeting life as a solo retiree so below'' s the first approach as well as this is actually essential overcoming your financial instabilities now if you are a solitary woman currently or a bachelor and also you'' re retiring and you don'' t really guide your finances that'' s a trouble as well as you'' re mosting likely to be stuck and also stifled as well as not be able to move on so you need to work with an economic planner and also recognize your funds as well as frankly if you'' re a couple enjoying this as well as among both of you actually gets funds well as well as the other one doesn'' t that ' s not a great place to be no if you ' re paying attention to this both of you must listen and share the monetary information along with the economic problems now since ultimately if you listen to that very first statistic if you'' re a lady 70 of us will certainly end up as a solo retiree outlasting our partner that'' s just the medical history that'' s just the realities you know there are pals down the road who bought the home from this senior couple and sadly her hubby died as well as she decided she wanted to downsize she went to market the house they got right down the roadway to the closing right as well as recognized he had actually never ever altered the title of your house so it took another 3 months to shut as well as it'' s simply since she had no concept they weren'' t really sharing the info so it is actually vital yep so obtain your funds in order we'' re not financial organizers yet absolutely discover one that was strategy primary approach second create a tiny support system of peers like mark stated you'' re not the only one there are many other individuals in the exact same location and also you want to be able to share your battles and successes with them yes due to the fact that it'' s it ' s hard to be alone and also it ' s tough to actually be alone but if you can be alone with one more individual that'' s alone after that you ' re not alone anymore right that makes good sense ideal sort of yep good concept i imply you might do weekly coffee you recognize pick up a class or do some exercise or also just take a lengthy stroll it'' s vital to ensure that you connect and also have a group of peers yeah connections are crucial and having a support system really helps so technique three is along the lines of that yet we'' re actually recommending that on a daily basis you speak to a person on the phone and also individual whatever it may be see to it you have a conversation with one more human being each and every single day and it could make good sense to make a listing of individuals that you can call definitely makes good sense you know family and friends and next-door neighbors you understand and also never feel like you'' re imposing and like mark said wear'' t allowed a day pass that you ' re not included in a discussion now it'' s constantly much better in person because it feels better but if you can'' t remain in individual negative weather condition you recognize covet maintained all of us secured a little at the very least phone call yet be there and also truthfully what'' s handy is not just for you to connect to obtain some interaction aid yet be the one supporting other individuals that'' s a great way to begin having some conversations in a colleagues that you'' re leading it so link with someone daily method number 4 have a day-to-day plan as well as a schedule something that includes structure to your life to make sure that you'' re not always wondering what am i going to do today what'' s the morning going to be like how am i mosting likely to make it via the mid-day truly established the tone from the day in the morning now great behaviors as well as regimens are crucial and also i understand a whole lot of people that such as to rise they'' ve worked their entire life as well as they'' re retired currently as well as they desire to stand up as well as just have a cup of coffee as well as watch television view a little bit extra tv have some more coffee but prior to you know it it'' s 11 o ' clock and you place'' t spoke to anyone and also you truly sanctuary'' t done much so establishing some routine and time some self-care time with buddies and also honestly limitation tv i mean i you know seeing tv every morning from 7 a.m till noontime it'' s not healthy and balanced no however you might also set up time to find out to get a course to head to the collection to check out to kids to discover points in your area that you could do to be practical as well as that makes you not alone as well as separated so here'' s the 5th method as well as you ' ve heard this from us so many times and also it just makes a lot sense this does turn up in a great deal of our video clips due to the fact that it aids in so many locations of your life the 5th method is exercise every single day move your body move it rise and relocate it do you know that if you walk 20 minutes a day everyday for 20 mins you can add 5 years to your life so what regarding strolling with a pal and also 20 mins that'' s simple walk for thirty minutes with a person and have a conversation as well as catch up so you'' re currently you'' re working out and you ' re communicating with somebody you called most of us age movement does become harder but you need to be as active as you can as well as just recognize that you can do 20 minutes a day so we hope you do that take it seriously so now let'' s speak about method number six volunteering you recognize there ' s so many advantages with offering and it'' s end up being such a massive part of our retired life improvement program and you understand we do bring it up a great deal volunteering sharing your knowledge developing your community you know supplying on your own with gratification sharing and also browsing your enthusiasms we bring that up a lot however it does assist with this isolation and also the potential for seclusion you understand you immediately can locate a community of people when you begin to offer and maybe as fundamental as operating at the neighborhood food bank or the library or something but you'' re mosting likely to locate dozens of other individuals in the same placement you remain in looking for areas so it'' s really essential to give this a shot definitely approach number 7 would be to attempt new things discover modern technology mark and i did a talk someday and there was a bunch of individuals in the space and also one woman elevated her hand talking because we were raising this technique concerning finding out innovation her name was ava she raised her hand and also she discussed the globe that innovation open up to her permitting her to get in touch with her family over in italy and just how they structured it exactly how she learned face time just how she learned zoom just how she discovered to be able to function all of the technology in her home to truly fend off that loneliness and also you recognize exactly how she did it remember her tale she got among her grandchildren to rest with her and also deal with the iphone with her to learn just how to do face time she couldn'' t count on her mind that it might occur and afterwards in the end just how simple it was for her right so yet it truly made her feel connected and also much less lonesome and also i assume utilizing modern technology in that means is really wise and also find out from a younger person it'' s nice in a community to have people your very own age and also people more youthful so as well as while you'' re finding out innovation look for on-line programs that are around look for some online discovering that can engage you i did that when i mosted likely to the university of pennsylvania and also i took a whole online online training course as well as i reached zoom in with various other children college youngsters university kids as well as i was the old woman yet that was fantastic and i made a whole lot of great contacts doing that no a huge thing to keep in mind is you'' re not alone you can fend off this solitude but you require to be positive deal with the 7 methods we just pointed out above as well as pay attention if you appreciate this please share with your buddies and also please subscribe by clicking the subscribe button listed below put on'' t fail to remember to join our totally free facebook community the link is down below and it'' s very interactive where jody and also i go live each week you reach ask questions as well as we can communicate with each various other and thanks for paying attention as well as we anticipate seeing you once again
Retirement Transition… What you need to know to succeed!
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moving into retired life can bring you so much delight and satisfaction as well as enjoyable and some freedom therefore far more but you need to see to it that you make this shift as smooth as possible now you could be wondering what can possibly go incorrect becoming part of retirement right but we'' re right here to tell you we see people constantly battle moving from their job into this first area of this stage of their life called retiring we see numerous individuals people that fall short including your daddy he did he did actually died method before his time and also other individuals do also and we wear'' t desire that for us and we don'' t want it for you so today we ' re going to stroll you with steps to make certain you start on the right foot we put on'' t desire you to ask yourself if you did the appropriate aspect of retiring as well as start to let regrets resolve in a lot of people begin considering their retirement from the first day they begin a work and also you know we did the same point and afterwards as we entered we weren'' t as prepared as we thought we were as well as we actually battled initially we were lucky because we rotated as well as we learned from our mistakes as well as we discovered from our customers mistakes and for us you recognize we'' re four years into this it'' s an ever-evolving um change in our life however however in the really beginning it'' s really vital to obtain it right so we'' re going to share with you today some suggestion on exactly how to make the most effective way of this change so that you don'' t make the same mistakes that we did as well as others do you understand I can easily think about a half a dozen people who went into retirement as well as they in fact call us and state I don'' t comprehend I ' m I ' m actually miserable well my dad sadly he at 65 my sibling and also I purchased him out from business and also he retired narrative is he was dead in 15 years and you understand he had problem with he dealt with retirement he dealt with a loss of identity the loss of neighborhood he didn'' t recognize what to do with the 40 plus hrs that came his method and if you'' ve been following us a long period of time you'' ve heard this before but he'' s the ideas behind this service this is why we do what we do since we want individuals to grow in retired life just how'' s that for a word thrive is great I obtained that yesterday at a conference oh you did thrive nice we'' re everything about having individuals prosper in retirement and also in order to thrive in retirement you need to get the transition down that'' s right so let ' s spend a min on what can fail and also why first point that we listen to is boredom sets in as well as there'' s nothing even worse than awakening day in day out questioning exactly how you'' re going to fill the following 12 to 14 hrs as well as not have terrific suggestions that occurred to my father and also the other thing social seclusion is a massive threat you understand during our occupations ours for sure and also most likely yours you'' re surrounded by numerous people there'' s a great deal of time alone in retirement so to go from that hectic surrounded by hundreds of individuals to get on your own or simply you and your companion it actually can be dreadful and you recognize the 3rd thing is some health and wellness problems can wreck your retired life you understand points take place to also the healthiest individuals we had a client that was prepared for retirement ready to go her other half prepared to go and they were mosting likely to travel that was their leading goal as well as after that she broke her hip as well as when she began to get healthy her partner fell and also broke his shoulder they had two years not being able to be successful in their vision of what their retired life was so health and wellness issues can turn up but here'' s what I would inform you overlooking your health can make it even worse right so let'' s allowed ' s experience some points that would help individuals have a smoother shift to make sure that if one of these missteps or even worse comes into play they still can glide right into retirement and also have an effective return due to the fact that everybody'' s roll it out we want you to thrive so what'' s the initial thing people can do to have a much better transition I would state the very first thing you can begin doing is plan early you recognize this is a really essential action despite regardless of where you remain in your occupation beginning to plan because people wait on for this for this strategy to capture them as well as after that they really feel like they'' re always behind you yeah you want to prepare early you wear'' t intend to wait till one decade when you'' re in retired life this once again'I ' ve stated this before this phase for us is 30 or 40 years so you want to truly put a strategy basically so that you'' ve got an instructions in which you intend to go and also truthfully this this process of planning need to start in my mind a minimum of 5 years prior to your official retired life date as well as there'' s several components of it to the planning that individuals just Miss as well as if they avoid everything with each other and it'' s amusing individuals push back on'us when they claim I put on ' t I put on'' t want a regular and I wear ' t desire to intend and also those are usually the ones that come back to us and say I ' m now stopping working right here are some components around preparing that we'' d like you to think of so what I was mosting likely to state is this is now we'' re speaking about developing a plan for retirement to make sure that you have a much better shift and if you'' re 5 years into retired life you can start throughout once more and also do this planning but the initial component like you said did you state it yet what are your objectives no you didn'' t claim it yet no allow ' s say it now the very first part is setting your retirement objectives actually simply asking on your own that question you know what are my retired life goals as well as spend some time with it in our on-line program your retired life tactical plan we damage that down into five pillars to have you take into consideration as well as we'' re not claiming our 5 pillars are your 5 pillars yet ours are physical health mental Wellness partnerships spouse companion partnership and after that exactly how you'' re going to share your wisdom so think of those five and after that determine what are your five columns well as well as I would certainly begin with R5 if you'' ve got other ones that'' s great you recognize under relationships there'' s household and also friends as well as all that yet it'' s it ' s a great base structure yeah a great structure to deal with all of these five columns need a plan they require objectives and also they require some activity steps if you do that your shift will certainly be smoother you know some some other considerations that are really vital is do you still wish to work that'' s right some people do do you still wish to work permanent or part-time or as a professional you know you obtained to choose do you want to remain in it or part in it or otherwise in it at all you know we run this business part-time as well as we obtain a lot gratification out of it since it'' s a type of knowledge sharing for us as well as some individuals require to maintain benefiting the cash which is great you don'' t requirement to function 80 hrs a week once again yet working to make money in retired life is fine you'' re still pay attention individuals are functioning well into their 80s and 90s yet it might look a little bit differently it might function for a business that really matches better with your um individual worths values yeah um some individuals um work because they desire the neighborhood as well as some people function even if they need to be active which'' s how they do it so you understand you need to believe regarding your vision you need to believe concerning your pillars and afterwards the various other point is you recognize think of creating a spending plan well before retired life you recognize I assume that'' s additionally extremely critical you know recognize what your cash circulation looks like and with a clear budget plan you can figure that out without a clear budget plan you can locate on your own in a jam rather rapidly where that concern before this will such as do I wish to function becomes I'' m gon na need to work and there'' s a great deal of information out there on Financial Preparation and also establishing a spending plan in return atmosphere we wear'' t do any of that job we do all of this non-financial work yet getting together with your account and a financial planner does aid a great deal now knowing how much earnings is guaranteed is the primary step and afterwards develop your dealt with cost into that spending plan you recognize the various other thing I would certainly say is keep an eye out one five and 10 years or more to make certain you'' re building reserve below or there I know that'' s what we speak about fairly a bit and also it'' s tough to do to actually you recognize pull some money apart yet if your objectives include travel you'' ll requirement to build that in what um you understand the various other aspect of preparation is you need well the preparation you require to discover a method to feel pertinent once more you understand during our occupations our jobs we'' ve constantly had a function we constantly felt essential we always felt required we obtained so much out of our careers when you move right into retirement that vanishes well you recognize it'' s funny when you'' re leading groups and also making important decisions you know every one of that proceeds to develop that relevance right and so now the initial Monday after retirement currently what just how are you gon na drive relevance in your life yet not everyone really requires to deal with this as soon as possible when you first enter retired life regarding really feeling pertinent once again because you can simply take a bit of a pause which is okay but if you are feeling pointless and you desire some help then lean a lot more on your pals set up some weekly Gatherings get obtain the social end of your life rather energetic because that can be by itself meeting and also really feel relevant or join some clubs or teams you know instantly really feel and also locate similar people around you a great place to do that is volunteering I understand we yap about that however it functions you recognize put your skills and skills as well as energies you know in a focused area well another point that'' s interesting that you could do as well as you you did this and I do it each day I check out but checking out education further education maybe college you obtained a little bit of your MBA at Penn and you took an online course but you recognize when you'' re beginning to do some more formal education it'' s it could hone an existing skill or you can discover a brand-new skill and afterwards you can utilize this knowledge to aid others either as an advisor or a volunteer however you'' re promptly mosting likely to have a community and you'' re going to really feel needed as well as appropriate Once again by helping others you recognize so we discussed in this shift you know what can go wrong you understand why very early preparation is important and making sure you have a spending plan and after that we hung around feeling appropriate once again and these ideas as well that we discussed will aid you feel relevant and lead you to a life of function bear in mind retirement is an exciting time of your life and we ought to all do what we wish to do when we wish to do it with whom we intend to do it and also simply ensure that we squash it to make sure that you can prosper in retired life that'' s our brand-new word absolutely your brand-new word we wish you such as this video clip and also if you did you'' re mosting likely to enjoy this following one we produced a three-part collection of video clips regarding preparing for retired life and also we enter into depth on one decade out 5 years out and after that one year out watch these 3 beside help you with more concepts on transitioning right into retirement
Downsizing Your Home in Retirement (4 Tips to Make it Manageable)
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you understand my moms and dads never ever downsized or removed and the day that they delegated relocate right into the assisted living center my sibling my sis jody our 6 children we were left with the burden of scaling down for them it was regarding the hardest point we needed to do you know believe concerning it choosing on whatever they gathered that experience really opened our eyes as well as offered us a real start the butt and also informed us that there was a genuine demand to do this procedure for ourselves so our youngsters didn'' t need to and also while we spend a great section of our life in the very same house as we did at some point we we decided yet at some point you might choose to downsize either as the kids vacate or simply you wish to relocate to it to a various location for a various way of life and you understand for greater than four years we both spent a great deal of time gathering what i call things and points you had extra stuff though and also points by the method and also your three little girls had lots of stuff hold on a second alright i can keep in mind clearly taking a time off of job i wear'' t remember this yep a day a getaway day in the summer all right it was 138 degrees when you did the attic room indeed and also i located every one of your boys pack you did tucked in edges complete of mice oh that'' s right however since they happen to leave granola we didn'' t want to speak about that today yet anyhow okay yeah so i'brought it up so currently i ' m in problem obviously however anyhow we built up all this we did and and we would certainly do annual removes as well as we would ask the youngsters to do annual removes that would certainly help us you understand give points away and contribute as well as you recognize be helpful in the neighborhood but we still finished up with a great deal of stuff we did we did and when you as well as i sat down and i was pressing this greater than you were absolutely pressing uh pressing when we rested down to discuss this downsizing it was challenging it really was as well as sometimes we simply agreed not to speak about it which i wear'' t recognize if that was a good idea however it was excellent to step far from the discussion well we absolutely weren'' t on the exact same web page no and we didn'' t have the same timeline no and afterwards when we sort of broke the seal as well as began speaking with the children about it we started obtaining various point of views sure and afterwards you know we began speaking about not scaling down yet truly appropriate sizing right as well as i keep in mind i would call it our huge aha moment we had this fantastic residence with an exterior patio that was covered as well as we had an open fireplace and we'' re resting out one early morning jody as well as i with her brother michael having coffee and also he brought the topic up he was checking out the backyard and also he claimed oh my gosh it'' s so fantastic that you people are considering selling this home to make sure that one more family with young children can come in and also take advantage of the school system and we considered each various other and i thought oh my god i never ever even considered it in this way you know it was definitely a manner in which we reframed downsizing from what i really felt was negative connotation you understand us leaving you understand us having to go via all the procedure of removing us needing to explain to the kids do you have a space do you not have an area when you return from university as well as all those points but the means michael mounted it really felt so favorable and also gave us such a leap it did that we went for it and we spoke about that for most likely a month and also it truly started our process and also the procedure that we did you understand um we just began we obtained pen to paper as well as began creating a lot of things down yep you know we began creating points down and also um in some cases we'' d write things that contrasted right you understand like the time frame mark would certainly say alright let'' s do this by june 1st and also i'' d resemble i ' m assuming january 1st but we'' d write them both down right to ensure that we had kind of a log of just how we were mosting likely to do it with just how we were feeling ideal you recognize and no established outcome you know and after that we chose extremely clearly as well as i assume this is truly essential that there was mosting likely to be no lobbying with other events so other interested parties like the youngsters or you recognize my mom as well as my father you recognize they were still active and you understand so there was going to be no outdoors lobbying and also i believe that truly helped us you understand the mother-in-law of circumstance and all that it didn'' t entered play yeah it'' s our house it ' s our decision we needed to figure it out but we also established some guideline and also you understand we agreed to pay attention to each various other truly listen we agreed to use empathy and also we consented to share our feelings as well as create them down to make sure that it'' s to ensure that our feelings were heard you understand we also accepted walk away from it if we were locating that it was becoming heated how many times did we ignore it probably 6 or 7 a minimum of um so anyway the initial step so if we truly break this down into steps that would certainly be handy to you the very first step would be taking stock of your situation you understand are you is selling your residence mosting likely to become part of the equation are you looking to relocate locations by a similar home acquire a buy a downsized townhouse or condo and also are you seeking to remain in the same area yeah and afterwards perhaps purchase a smaller house and a second residence some people want a larger house listen there'' s lots of individuals that retire and also they get an increase of cash now it'' s time to acquire that large five-bedroom home five-bath residence so all the children can come and every single time they come they have their very own area to stay you as well as your companion need to figure that out to ensure that'' s the discussion that happens in the start as well as after that once we obtained the location that we make a decision that we'' re okay we are going to market the house we start to do to do an evaluation of our existing home and this was truly excellent i intend to highlight this due to the fact that this is very important i want you guys to write this down because we did we thought about this and we invested all of this time damaging down what we liked regarding the house every little thing we liked concerning this right and after that likewise things that we didn'' t like about the residence that'we didn ' t desire to locate probably in our following house right and also we made you understand i believe we made a must-have checklist i can'' t remember however there ' s things like area and location you understand where do we want the following residence to be what concerning the community do we want a college town do we want a city we wish to rural out in the country what qualities are necessary in your house number of bedrooms we desire an outside fire pit as well as the various other thing is memories this aided us a whole lot right since we did show on the memories in the old house right yet then we began to desire of what kind of memories can we have in this new home right and it truly helped us to understand that we were packing the memories and also taking them with us right they weren'' t part of the old home they weren ' t being left in your home that we were marketing we were bringing them with us yeah we still speak about them that great uh thanksgiving meal we had an outdoor tents in the yard and also we had 50 people over the house that'' s never disappear we wear'' t have to have that home to have that memory right the 2nd point that we did was we started to really establish our priorities on where we were mosting likely to relocate to such as mark said earlier we did a listing of must-haves as well as the must-haves we initially didn'' t settle on and after that we started to make some concessions and afterwards naturally of seeking residential or commercial property or seeking a new place to live our must-haves sort of changed to want checklists or must-haves as well as we experienced this procedure um seven years earlier when we acquired the home we'' re living in now in connecticut we still live down in new york and we acquired a second residence and also it was area and also geography we wanted to walk to town which we have home qualities you understand this house we stay in currently sleeps 16 but there'' s only 3 bedrooms so we have sofas all these locations for the children we desired simple care and also upkeep and after that once again what new memories can we create in this brand-new house and also we created some wonderful ones okay so as well as we didn'' t obtain every little thing on that listing with this residence due to the fact that easy treatment and also update i indicate we purchased a home that was over 300 years of ages that'' s real so um simple care and also upgrade enigma on that particular one so so we were versatile we were yep we were we found adaptability i don'' t assume we started there no however we chose for a staged approach you recognize we had a 2nd home which is our residence in connecticut we had actually acquired it 5 years ago we decided to offer our our residence in brand-new york and as an interim step we rented a three-bedroom condominium in our town where we offered our house in brand-new york due to the fact that we still had two women that were finishing up college weren'' t sure where they were going to get tasks and also the last point you wish to say to your household or liked one is we moved there'' s no place for you yet below'' s things we leased this condominium for two years jody and also i were investing half the moment down there and also need to time up right here the women started to like to come visit us right here versus in brand-new york so at the end of the two-year lease it ended up being really clear we didn'' t requirement that house any longer so when the lease was up we vacated and relocated whatever we had we purged once more appropriate and also uh brought whatever up here yep so i assume it'' s vital to note you know scaling down wasn'' t very easy for us as well as we took interim steps with you know a townhouse and also with storage systems and trying to continue the removing occasions right so with all that behind you you require to make an action strategy and also we did as well as there'' s a lot of things that you require a lot of steps as well as it'can be immobilizing it ' s just can be so difficult but you need to make a checklist as well as keep raking via as well as like jody claimed prior to if you require to pause you take a break you understand if you make some contracts in the start and also truly remain true to them with objective it actually does aid you know begin with your considerable to-do listing call a real estate agent talk regarding offering your residence finding a new one if you'' re moving call a local real estate agent in that area that'' s essential we did we located that to be very important that that really helped us with neighborhood choice and once again we experienced this but set priorities for the new residence your must-haves and some things that are okay and um just start moving on while doing so and you recognize it'' s funny the downsizing of your belongings so of the stuff as well as points um i assumed it was really hard you recognize to do that for your moms and dads you understand since we didn'' t have psychological connections and we'' re attempting to make contact whether this picture makes more sense than that image right yet it'' s really hard when it ' s your stuff each thing you pick up oh my god my mommy offered this swing when i was 10.
yeah yeah so i understand or for the children you know we needed to type of draw a line in the sand with a few of the youngsters and claim you understand if you want these seven boxes that are yours yeah you have till this day to get them otherwise you understand we'' re going to have to go with and choose what as well as then also the tougher part is the kids state i wear'' t want it like you put on ' t want all your art work from kindergarten how am i gon na toss that out right so it'' s hard there ' s not an easy escape there simply is not you need to be um diligent for certain however with the things and also points you recognize we decided to do one room each time appropriate and that functioned really well it did it took us months yet it was an excellent procedure to undergo you know but it yet it did it did concentrate us on that particular one area so we didn'' t really feel that overwhelming there was that time in the attic that i was up there when you went to work or do i have that backwards you have that totally jody totally cleared out the attic room eventually it was 105 levels up there and also we also neglected we had things in the attic room yet we did that uh we did the children spaces first we did and we did store some things for them and simply functioned their way around your house and after that we distributed a great deal which uh to numerous companies in your neighborhood especially these days they can actually use it so we arranged bags by you understand females'' s clothing females ' s footwear guys'' s clothes men ' s sweatshirts as well as um the regional charities were extremely delighted to get them and i would certainly claim that this is a recurring process we still can do even more removing below it'' s hard but you know in some cases i believe this coming sunday it'' s going to rain as well as we'' re mosting likely to remove so um it'' s streamlined well indeed you did it did not it simplifies your life and also it'' ll it gives you area to desire for more you recognize we'' ve we ' ve made a great deal of changes in the last five years and we'' re living a wonderful life absolutely absolutely as well as we like our new community we still have connections to our old community you understand it'' s kind of like those close friends that you understand never leave you and also now they belong ahead and go to which is actually great and we'' ve done actually well socially we'' ve joined a regional club we understand a whole lot of the storekeepers so we truly truly delight in um what'' s taking place up here in connecticut so if you appreciated this please share it with your good friends you understand subscribe to the um to the channel subscribe switch below as well as join our complimentary facebook group we'' ve obtained an excellent facebook engaged area as well as we'' d love to have you sign up with the web link is likewise in the notes so thanks for listening as well as we eagerly anticipate being with you once again
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