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Top Tips to Sleep Better in Retirement

as we age our sleep patterns change and it can become increasingly harder to get a better night's sleep and consistent poor sleep leads to pretty bad Health you can have bad mood swings poor emotional well-being kind of being cranky when you don't sleep what no no no not me you you're the one who gets up cranky when you don't sleep really I think so huh is that you or is it me I'm not sure all right getting good night's sleep is freaking important how about that as a matter of fact chronic sleep deprivation is linked to diabetes obesity cardiovascular disease and immune dysfunction and sometimes you can't get good sleep because your neighbor is using a chainsaw in the middle of the afternoon when I want to take a nap so I'm sorry about the noise but we couldn't help that but that can definitely affect your sleep so finding ways to improve your sleep is so critical to a longer and healthier life and what we want to do today is give you ways to get better and improve your overall sense of well-being you know I know it can be a struggle at times and and maybe it's it's that your spouse or partner is snoring what keeping you awake come on or you have a dog that sleeps in your bed that we have and that could be a problem Max is not a problem a problem Max my snoring's not a problem yours is and Max is definitely a problem but whatever it is you know it's it's good to keep a pulse on how you slept not just how long you were in bed right now for me I don't know why but I've always been an early riser since a very young boy yeah and it's unusual for me to sleep past 5 a.m and recently for whatever reason I'm getting up at 3 30.

Now I can typically go back to bed for an hour or so but sometimes I'm up at 3 30 or 4 for the day and that does wear them it does it does during our first four years of retirement we worked really hard to find ways to get into a good rhythm of sleep and you know we're finally starting to have some good success but it has taken a while and at the end of this video so please stay to the end we're going to share with you our sleep routines that you don't have to copy them but there's parts of it that you might find helpful because it's so much different than when we were working and these new routines that we've implemented are really giving us a good night's sleep so let's dive deep on why sleep is so important and the first thing is particularly as you age I think yeah yeah but it's important to babies too I mean I just think sleep is important just to all okay well let's address baby sleep today so anyway the first reason is poor sleep definitely affects your physical health yeah you covered that a little bit in the beginning right and it might sound obvious but people that have poor sleep habits just accept it and they have no idea the damage it might be doing to their body to their relationships and to their their overall health yeah so you can't just say well I only get six hours of sleep a night and I feel crappy all day well I haven't gotta fix it I have a lot of friends that just say I'm not a good sleeper and they just kind of write it off and they think that's just the way it has to be and it doesn't but as you age we become more vulnerable to certain types of illness and adequate 's immune system your hormone regulation and your cardiovascular health so make it a priority yeah the other thing poor sleep does it affects our cognitive health I love that word cognitive Health cognitive health help the word cognitive you were saying cognitive help help okay good sleep is essential for us to keep our memory intact our ability to think clearly and if we have poor sleep it's gonna increase our chances of developing cognitive decline and dementia and my mom had dementia so this is really important to me to make sure I get good sleep you know so poor sleep can also the third thing is really affect your emotional health you know I know that I feel completely different mentally depending on the quality of sleep that I get right I can tell when I wake up if I've been kept awake all night by someone snoring and the last thing is pores what why do you just always try to slide that in I I snore a little bit but I've never heard a recording tonight you can record me okay and then you can play it on the next video sounds good but poor sleep also affects our safety think about driving a car you know as we age and I'm noticing this now our reflexes slow down I can't back up in a car like I used to when I was 18 years old really no I gotta I got we have mirrors and cameras now and all that but you put poor sleep on top of reflexes slowing down and that can have disastrous results so if we've convinced you that sleep is important to focus on let's talk about some of the reasons why it's harder to get good sleep as we age and the first thing is as we age our cardiac Rhythm changes circadian rhythm oh circadian rhythm yeah and it's so funny because I was about to say I love this new word circadian is that what shows on our Aura ring or the Rhythm clock yeah it's not a cardiac Rhythm oh although it does track our cardiac it does at night but our circadian rhythm changes and that's the built-in process that regulates our hunger our energy levels and our sleep that we figured out through our research and you know as as it changes it can get heart you can make it harder to fall asleep at night and make it harder to wake up in the morning so circadian rhythm so write that down I don't have to write that one down even I have to yeah the second thing is as we age our hormone levels change you mentioned that earlier but it is important to mention it again because our body you know as our as our bodies age they're going to produce lower levels of melatonin there's another big word to write down this happens to me so I take Natural melatonin supplements and this helps me fall asleep easier and sleep more soundly but it sounds like I need more maybe maybe I don't know you're sleeping soundly you're just noisy when you do it okay we found out by visiting with our naturopath doctor and she's helped us out with all of that sleep natural supplements and so we definitely recommend that but the other thing if you're having poor sleep check with your doctor on your medications on your actual prescription medications from your doctor because they can affect your sleep yeah there's common prescriptions that you might be taking like antidepressants or diuretics all of that can interfere with your sleep so you have to find out the other thing that can can play a big role in your sleep is your lifestyle you know your stress levels your alcohol intake you know when you eat your big meals and really your lack of physical activity can all affect your sleep so let's stay with this for a second because on our aura rings the tracks our sleep among other things if I have a glass of wine and steak I'm gonna have crappy sleep yeah we track it every time yeah if I if we can go three or four nights in a row with a light dinner of a salad and some protein and no alcohol I sleep like a baby right we put a late dinner in there uh a steak meat heavy and a glass of wine or two I'm screwed it's just not gonna happen that's true so that's true anyway all of that does affect your sleep and you did you mention physical activity I did okay I did yeah and you know you should check with your doctor you know you may have a sleep disorder that needs some attention sleep apnea restless leg syndrome or even insomnia is you know something that that can arise later in life the thing is we need to do what we can to improve our sleep okay why don't we share how much sleep we need do you know well I think it's a personal thing I think some people can survive on Little While others survive on nine hours I know when my twins were born and I had a 20 month old I think I was surviving on four or five hours of sleep and that was probably a stretch well it's true um and there are you know you can research this online but the national sleep Foundation states that most people over the age of 65 you're not there yet I'm 66 on Saturday by the way that's right did we want to do a birthday video maybe okay um we need seven to eight hours of sleep each night now like Jody said some people can say oh I'm okay with sex but imagine how great they'd feel if they did seven or eight so that that's my argument to people like that so we I need to find somehow a minimum of seven hours of sleep a night getting up at 3 30 makes it hard but we we work on it yeah but you know what we do we try to get a good night's sleep by sticking to a schedule or at least we try to stick to a schedule you know we both try to be asleep by 10 you get up at five I get up at six and that pretty much regulates you know our sleep where we can get deep sleep REM sleep light sleep and have a little bit of wait time through that well the thing is again I keep talking about the aura ring but we we love the aura ring I get a notification on my phone depending upon how much sleep I got the night before right that now you know between you're your best time to go to sleep tonight between 8 30 and 9 and I love that notification because I go in early you too you love it when it says anytime before 10 that's for sure when we are alone in the house we don't have visitors this is pretty much what we do five nights a week six nights a week if we're not going out with anyone this is what we do when there's company or kids it's going to be different and we can stay up till one in the morning now we feel crappy the next day but we can do it so the first thing we do is we try to regulate our time in bed and the second thing is we try to have our dinner done by seven right and that's a big change for US Post retirement I would say pre-retirement if we started dinner at 7 30 that was early yeah we we try to stay that 6 30 yeah and done by seven like you said yeah and dinners are lighter for us and after dinner we'll watch TV for an hour 7 30 to 8 30.

And that's it well then yeah we don't walk Max and yeah but we don't spend a lot of time on TV tonight because you don't want to do that to stimulate your brain but I'll always take a hot shower I I sometimes jump in the bath sometimes you take a bath we'll read before we go to sleep I read in a chair I don't read in bed right but this gets us relaxed before we get into bed you know we take measures also to make sure our room is comfortable you know the room needs to be dark and the room needs to be 68 degrees or colder right and you know oddly enough you know that mattress and pillows that you've had for the past 25 years you might want to take a pulse check and see if you need to redo those because a great mattress and the right pillows makes a difference we recently got um the sound machine so we have a sound machine in a room but the funny thing is I also wear earplugs because I don't want to hear you snoring and Max making his noise but if I have earplugs I can't hear the sound machine well I don't understand why I have a sound machine hmm all right I'll have to figure that out yeah but we also try very hard to avoid our phones 30 minutes before going to sleep just don't do it because it's going to get your brain stimulated right I'm a side sleeper on my right side pillow between my legs and I'm out yeah and I'm a back sleeper for some reason I think my grandmother once told me to sleep on my back because that's not helping but most nights this routine sets us up for a good night's sleep and you know the things that we have found that we have tagged that definitely affect our sleep our caffeine and alcohol for sure eating late eating red meat and watching TV especially over stimulated TV late at night we're always researching new ways to improve our sleep I actually recently started wearing a mask an eye mask I meant to bring it to as a prop does anyone get it no okay I wear a mask I've been doing it for about a month and it does make a difference you know and we both meditate right so using headspace or calm you know great apps apps we use those and sometimes if we're both having a hard time falling asleep if we've just had one of those days where we can't slow it down we'll actually play out loud on one of our phones a sleep story which is very interesting and we can hear it all the way yeah now we notice a difference in who we are and how we show up with each other if we have great sleep yeah right we're definitely happier more energetic and more fun with each other Did we tell you we have aura rings these aura rings are great it's something to look at it measures our Sleep Quality and it's also the first thing that we check in the mornings we see how we did you know if you're struggling with sleep try some of these tips that we're doing and drop some notes in the comments below if anything else you can think of to help us in this community get better sleep now if you like this video you're going to love this next one seven types of rest because it's not just sleep that helps you get rested we talk about other kinds of rest like mental rest creative rest social rest and more so watch this next video

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Live your Best Life with the Best Retirement Advice You’ll Ever Get!!

we've been researching and living retirement for about 5 years now and we learned a lot about what works and quite frankly what doesn't work and we you know coached a lot of people and we get a lot of comments on our YouTube channel so there's a lot of people who enter this phase really unprepared and then they just wander around and end up bored and even depressed you know without the right strategies you're missing out on the joys and opportunities that retirement can offer to you so today we're going to give you the top 20 pieces of advice from ourselves but also from so many of our clients who are having a really great time in retirement that they describe as super successful and make sure you stay till the end because we're also going to throw in our top five retirement tips can't wait to get to that yeah exactly listen if you're new here I'm jod and this is my husband Mark now we don't focus on the financial aspects of retirement but really what we do focus on is lifestyle Health relation relationships and so much more we hope you like our videos and if you do please share them with someone you care about and definitely like them as you're on your way down your retirement Journey so let's talk a little bit about our journey for the last 5 years because we don't want you all to think just because we have a YouTube channel that we have it all figured out we do in many regards but I I would say the the one thing that we're doing really well is working at it we do yeah I would say that we work at it every day almost to the point where sometimes you know how you work at something so long that sometimes you're like okay I'm going to take a pause on this every once in a while I'll have to call the pause yeah and and I don't want to give away our five tips but the one thing that you and I have going for us well there's really 10 things but I only want to focus on one now is our communication yeah you know we don't always agree nor do we always get along well we always communicate yeah you know we really do give each other respect the space to have an opinion um and you know we're human beings and living together can have its challenges absolutely but we I think the big thing for us is experimenting we don't always agree we don't always get along but we always reset and regroup and what's what else am I looking to say well sometimes I think we also just do what I said just take a pause right I mean sometimes you have to just kind of step away to go back at it with fresh eyes yeah so you know we keep we do keep track of what's working and what isn't working for us and you know what worked for us for all the years that we were married that we were working may not work for us now so we've had to adapt a few things for sure you know when we were working it was I'm not going to say it was easier but there was so much going on there really was no downtime right now we have downtime and we need to make sure we're we're doing it the right way y so you might be wondering why do you even need to think this Harden retirement well we have people say that to us all the time you know you guys make it sound like it's so much work in retirement that's when you're supposed to have no work right well what we found out is our retirement other people's retirements are successful and they're happy because they spend a little bit of time working on things right now by the way we've got a whole bunch of free downloads but we're going to put a link below to one it's a health and wellness checklist we want you to get that download and use that to kind of reset your health in retirement that's really really important so let's jump into some of the best retirement advice we've heard from RE reies thus far and again stay till the end where we'll do our top five retirement tips okay first thing stay active first thing always what staying active it is it's one of our first things we always say I can't emphasize this enough now we have a new puppy who is in the background is he eating something well just a dresser no he's eating a knob on a dresser maybe you should grab him but staying active it's her uh yeah it's a her so we'll bring her up um you get to see Ruby this but uh staying Physically Active it boosts your mood it boosts your health you know walking walking walking our dog is always helpful but we're both pretty big fans of some regular type of exercise Absolut and you need to do that yep yep and you know we read a great book called outlived by Dr Peter ATA and he talks a lot about exercising being the best medicine for longevity okay you can't lick the microphone all right second thing nutrition you've really got to understand what it is that you put into your mouth you know my mom said that when I was a kid but as we get older you know there are changing nutritional needs that we need to be aware of and you got to have a good balance of fruits vegetables lean proteins and whole grains absolutely and you know you have to also stay hydrated you know you have to limit your intake of sugary or processed foods and definitely make sure that you're Consulting a nutritionist I think or a dietitian even of sorts and make it fun in the kitchen you know explore some new recipes or Cuisines to keep your meals exciting and nutritious yeah you do good with that because you're really our cook I'm really appetizers Ambiance and clean up well we've moved from Strictly meat and potatoes and gravies I I call it comfort food to more of a Mediterranean diet so we don't do much beef we do a lot of chicken we do a lot of fish having fish tonight right um a lot of vegetables and we feel better because of that the exercise and nutrition really makes us feel great absolutely so the next thing is really to just you know our retirees tell us all the time you know continuous and constant learning keeps our brains active and really keeps us sharp and keeps us young yeah and you know retirement offers you the freedom to explore new hobbies or skills or go to the library when was the last time you're in a library you know it's amazing to walk I love walking through bookstores but walk through a library is even more fun because it just massive and there's so many different sections you can get lost in there forever right and you know I think that uh local community centers like uh got down here in Florida they've got all of these nature preserves they just kind of fun to go walks Serenity walks and different things another thing that's really important and the fourth tip today is socializing you really got to make sure you're getting out and making new connections there are a lot of people in the same boat that you're in right that want to meet new people down here in Florida we're just really getting so much better at putting ourselves out there Y where you can volunteer join a club um I and it's not that hard you know I think we make socialization as we age a lot harder than it really needs to be it's like almost like we build up these walls around how am I going to get invited or who am I going to know or what am I going to say and you know really it's just a matter of putting yourself out there and being you I mean you you are very interesting and what we always tell our kids is it's important to be both interesting when you're socializing and interested so you know have your battery of questions kind of lined up that you're going to you know say to people when you're in Social settings a lot a lot of it is easier than you think so that's all about meeting new people and networking so to speak uh the other thing the fifth tip is nurturing your current relationships we get that a lot from our retirees what's that that need to do this once they are retire I mean whether it's your children or your old colleagues at work or your relatives or high school friends or college friends these are people that at one point in your life were probably pretty close to you will reach out and find out what they're doing look for them on Facebook or whatever but don't be afraid they're probably wondering if they're retired as well gosh I I wonder where my high school friends are and when you call them I guarantee you they're going to be like oh my gosh I can't believe it just called and you have the most wonderful conversation so I also think that in the nurturing relationship bucket Mark I I also think it's a time where you can really sit back and address any unresolved conflicts that you might have whether that's with family or old friends or you know old neighbors or colleagues you know it's a good time to be able to address all of that for sure okay um staying financially Savvy lot of the lot of our clients and ourselves and people leave comments that you know how much money can I spend spend should I downsize or rent when should I take Social Security or my pension you know we have a great tool that we um came in contact with through new retirement and it's actually a um a portal where you can connect all your bank accounts and it actually pulls everything and it shows how much you're spending it shows you what might happen if you downst it's a really cool too it's it's like a scenario plan yeah so we'll put that down below but these are all questions that people have you need to get the answers so either a financial planner or um your accountant or using this tool but you know having a regular budget can be helpful because you kind of know how much you can spend right um I think the other thing that we see a lot of because we get it all the time too is being really careful about scams oh I know you know this thing where people call up and say that uh it's it's an email and or they'll say is this Mark Rollins and you say yes and then they have your yes there so there's a lot of those things that are happening good financial adviser and really understanding your finances is really important okay the next thing I would say and and I didn't do this as much during my career but I've really taken this on um and with some advice from our retirees is prioritizing your mental health your mental health and wellness is so important it's critical and almost as crucial as your physical health right uhoh Ruby's getting adventurous Ruby's getting out of hand um you know meditation I talk about meditation a lot lot I talk about journeying a lot and you know five five or six years ago I started meditating and if you asked me the day before I was meditating would I ever do it I would I would have said no yeah but it really is a lifesaver now it really helps me every morning to kind of get myself set for the day journaling gets my ideas and my feelings out on a piece of paper it really has helped me tremendously be more calm and in the moment for whatever comes our way absolutely and you know what I I remember you and I remember you the day before you started and and you really that's a true statement you never would have done it if if you didn't you know kind of feel like you had to do it at that point okay the next thing I would say is um you know our retirees these days are really embracing technology you know it offers a great tool to stay connected and informed and even entertained and then there's you know the platforms like Zoom or Skype that allow you to do virtual meetups with family family members we just yesterday gave our grandson Luca his fifth birthday present oh yeah via Zoom they're in California they're in California and we're here in Florida and we had the present all set it was all ready you know we had it all kind of concealed his eyes were covered and um that was really the only way we were able to celebrate so I think it was good that we were able to do that and they're able to do it you know back with us I mean I think Luka could zoom or Skype us probably without his parents well on the way to school a lot in the morning uh Jonathan will give Luca his phone and luuka and I will have a conversation on the way to school which is fun so there's um there's a lot you can do with technology and I I find that when people are struggling with technology they're struggling with life so really investing some time and learning how to use your phone right learning how to use your computer it really is important I think the next you know the next thing our retirees tell us is you know you know travel and explore you know traveling provides such EXP exposure to new cultures you know I know we've got a safari coming up at the end of next year we're both a little nervous about um but new cultures new foods new experiences and even some local trips some stations but going to the next town over I know I had a hard time saying that the other day but the next town over can be really fun and it keeps you busy so you can plan a trip you can research trips we we've we've now seen recently there's a lot of travel agents that specialize in trips for solo not solos solo retirees or solo people individual people so you go on a vacation with 10 people who are all there on their own right and you know the travel agent does a pretty good job we hear of making sure that you're all the same um you know you're you're going to the same place for the same reason and that you'll pretty much get along so that's great so more advice from our um retirees that we've been kind of investigating and calculating this is always a favorite re-evaluate your living situation and you know what I mean by that is you know consider your proximity to you know family to friends to Health Care Facilities to your doctors to your favorite recreational areas you know re-evaluate if where you are here today is where you really want to be or need to be as you move through your retirement yeah I think that's really important because there are so many options for you today to live and again it's not just about downsizing which I think we're going to talk about in a minute but it's really where do you live and how are you living we we always talk about wanting to end up as we get older being there one of our kids and we have six it's just hard but they haven't really we're not necessarily on the same page on this one what do you mean well I mean I think it would be great but I like who do you pick how do you pick what do you do I I'm not going to say it on here but I know who I'm going to pick okay I want to be taken care of okay I know who she is oops did I say that okay so the the next thing is downsizing or rightsizing your home so this has Financial connotations but it also has a tremendous amount of um psychological stumbling blocks that you need to get over in order to even think about downsizing and the first place to start instead of just saying I don't want to talk about it with your partner you have to talk about it I think that's really the first thing we have a lot of people who are frustrated with this topic because they're spouse or partner don't want to talk about it well well the retirees that we spoke to for this video said you know this is a scary and dangerous topic right downsizing you know decluttering is a little bit easier than downsizing downsizing means you're thinking of making a big move right and if you're both not on the same page it becomes divisive so you know the retirees uh that we talked to said this is good advice to start to bring up early in your retirement really planning the seeds you know where do you stand on on this you know is simplifying something that's going to lead to less stress or are you the house that everyone comes to and and we've done and that's fine too we've done uh several videos on this topic of downsizing there's another one that says if downsizing isn't right for you some things that you can do really the process here is to simplify your life you're now in a phase of your life where you've got more free time you can travel so will Trading houses up or down make your life simple right so right and it's you know it's a therapeutic process and speaking of a therapeutic process the next thing that everyone says helps them so much is beginning the process of decluttering right and that oh my gosh we we try to declutter all the time it gives you mental Clarity it makes your home safer and there's so many emotional but what's so funny I'm laughing because if we try to declutter all the time where's the Clutter coming from I don't well yeah the first thing is to stop buying stuff right yeah exactly because you know take the Amazon app off of your phone because you know when you declutter you know and then you declutter again and again you got to start saying to yourself where is it all coming from well I I mean you can start with a closet you can start with a dresser and you know there's a lot of gems inside your closet and your dresser that other people can use if you're not using I mean if you're not if you haven't worn a c outfit for 2 years get rid of it yeah you're never going to wear it again the other thing is when you when you take a look at an item in your closet if you wouldn't buy that new today get rid of it right you know so you know you don't need your suits anymore your work clothes if you've retired so decluttering can really be fun we did we've done a lot of videos on that too you know this next um item a lot of our retirees really felt uh strongly about and and that is to document your legacy you know sharing your life stories is such a gift to all the future Generations in your world you know writing or recording or even creating digital albums you know can be great methods of documenting your legacy and this is the one thread I think that I heard that just everyone spoke about with passion there's a good friend of mine um who is a a grandmother she's got three children and five grand grandchilden and she writes a letter I think she writes two letters a year to each grandchild every year she's been doing that since the kids were born and she's telling them stories she's sharing with them a little bit about her um her preferences or political background uh you know how she feels about certain current events that are going on right now it's really going to be an amazing gift to give to these kids to be able to have a letter from their grandma mother from 20 years ago about some current event that was happening and how it's making her feel so it really is a neat project that she's done yep well you just saw Ruby or maybe you did but adopting a pet you know it gives this is controversial with retirees actually okay you know because and I didn't mean to interrupt you I know I'm going to get hit with comments on stop interrupting it's typically me that interrupts you that's what the comments say but um you know adopting a pet or rescuing a pet or somehow putting that type of love and companionship into your life gives you so much the flip side and I guess where I'd say it becomes controversial is you have to be you know ready for it you have to have you know the financial wherewithal to handle it you have to have the bandwidth to handle the training the potty training the dog walking you have to have good physical activity and if you don't it's going to help you get there but you have to be ready for it and this one just kind of was like uh probably 7 25 a was interesting for us though we've had two dogs together before we had sugar um and we had little Max and we just got the dogs and we just brought them up the way we wanted to well because we were working we were still so now we have Ruby for three days and I said to jod why don't we do this differently why don't we find some YouTube channels and learn how to really train a dog well it's actually been really exciting for us because we're learning some things we never knew right and I think it's been really helpful for us and for little Ruby and for rucious yeah so having a Pet's great it well it's works for us and again it was kind of a controversial well there is a lot of love that comes back yep and there's just a lot of anxiety that comes with the love so all right the 15th tip you could join a club or start a club right so coffee uh with uh so for a man get one buddy have coffee once once a week bringing have him bring a guest and you bring a guest get up to like 10 people and have weekly coffee tell stories I I do that all the time and I love it so it's it's a really fun way to well let me say this it's important Jody and I have a business we're married we have kids we do a lot together but we do a fair amount apart too so I think that for everyone in retirement if you're solo you're solo but if you're a couple you got to have your own stuff yeah you got to have your own club you got to have your own group yep um you know the next thing is to seek out mentorship opportunities you know um again our retirees had a wealth of professional and life experiences and there's so much that they could share with younger Generations that they would engage in really meaningful guided conversations that helped build multigenerational connections for them and again they got pretty charged up about seek seeking out these opportunities you know Mark and I did that at the University of Hartford in one of the business classes where we kind of did a guest professorship for a day and then we actually took applications for um for students to mentor and it was a really fun year for us well the thing there's a couple things that happen first of all you're helping someone else but you feel fulfilled you know you feel like you have a sense of purpose uh by guiding others and the other thing is I'm going to go guide is get getting mentored by someone who's younger than you I mean I have two mentors we kind of Mentor each other one is my son and one is another young professional that I know but but I actually can learn a lot from them they have a different outlook on business they have a different outlook on life and it really has been helpful to me for sure so that that's been fun yeah it has sorry I had to step away um this was I thought an interesting one and this came from a a a pocket of our um friends and retirees that wanted to engage in artistic Pursuits um I would put myself in this area I haven't done it yet but exploring different art forums and painting and pottery you know our neighbor across the street Jen she does that every year whenever she gets down to Florida she joins last last year was Pottery this year it's painting drawing it's drawing drawing she joins um art classes and workshops and goes to the local community center and she loves it and that's something I think I would like to do cuz I don't do much for my artistic side but it gives you also um uh Arts a form of expression and emotional release and if you're into that at all it really is kind of fun to do that I mean this in a way what we're doing is Artistic Pursuits I mean we're shooting video and we're you know um you know building a little business but it it's uh it's fun I would I wouldn't say it's a hobby but we've had to learn so much so it's been kind of cool y on the other thing and we just did a Facebook live on this yesterday is um staying updated with current events you know we we did a a Facebook live yesterday in our in our community uh do you consume the news or is the news consuming you right so really finding a way to get good solid news we think is important I mean trying to find reputable news sources or magazines is really helpful versus getting caught up in what everyone calls the fake news if you will but you know uh get involved with Community discussions or forums talk to friends don't be so judgmental when someone has a certain opinion on a news article but really finding a balance there because it is important to stay up to date it is I believe it really is important to stay up to date but like you said it's also can be all consuming we do have some retirees that watch the news Chann channels and you can watch the news channels now 24 hours a day so uh we do have some folks that are doing that which isn't probably the healthiest the next one is well before you do that one of the what's that I interrupted you I get a good comment um we stepped away we have stepped away from watching the news in a in a big way so we'll watch the evening news for I don't know 35 minutes we watch some things on um well Evan your daughter told us to watch NPR well listen that's a podcast it's a podcast so we we we get some news that way but um staying informed about local events or Community changes we kind of stepped away from that we jumped back in you found out about this great concert taking place and then you signed up for it and it was full yeah I mean literally the day I saw it which means it probably was out there before yeah so I think the whole idea of current events is really important things happening in your community so I didn't mean to interrupt you but I didn't want to forget that okay I think the next thing that we heard a lot about from everybody was planning regular family events or Gatherings you know now you have the time to organize events and birthdays and anniversaries and really start to create traditional Traditions like annual family picnics or you know um different things you could do with grandchildren either in groups or select one at a time I mean that's really something fun that you can um really jump into I think yeah we have Thanksgiving um in Florida this Thanksgiving couple weeks couple weeks and we've got five of our six kids coming with their partners and um the grandkids are not going to make it but we can't wait for that and we make it special and we make it a lot of fun and they all have their favorite food here and little gifts and we take a lot of pictures so that we can have really good memories for um for the future um you know investing in self-care is really really important a lot of people don't take time to do that you what it shouldn't have been number 20 it shouldn't have been last no it shouldn't it really shouldn't because now is the time you can dedicate for relaxation and meditation and deep breathing and different things like that if you can afford to get a massage once in a while um you know do yoga on the beach you got to get your health checkups I I know I um I think we'll leave a link below we have a a free yeah Health checkup worksheet is really great so you can download that we'll put that in the comments below but you know you want to engage in activities that stimulate your mind puzzles games right you have to get adequate sleep and rest we have the aura ring so we track our sleep the first thing we talk about in the morning is well just how you do what are your numbers you guys have been patient our top five retirement tips number one you have to have a plan y you need a short long-term plan you need 5 10 15 20 years or more out you know my my plan is to be physically independent at the age of 90 you You' heard me say that before so that is what drives me to get up and exercise every single day and we start each day with a plan that's a good segue to the second big tip exercise exercise exercise exercise exercise it's the number one thing that we can do for ourselves to be healthy and if you're not exercising now keep it simple walk out the front door walk 10 minutes one way and come back and do that for 5 days and then go 15 minutes and then do 20 minutes for a week so you got to do that the third top tip is you've got to build a community of people you've whether it's your family you reach out to whether it's Friends new friends neighbors re-engaging with old work friends number three is you've got to build community and the fourth tip would be healthy habits really review your habits you know think about can you limit your alcohol can you stop any bad habits I mean you stopped cigar smoking you pretty much eliminated chocolate chip cookies pretty much eliminated what do you mean pretty much you bought them yesterday and I haven't had one yet and you're going to throw them out I'm having them and you know keeping ahead of better nutrition you know eliminating your bad foods and making sure you're eating what makes you feel good I was thinking about this this morning healthy habits or food alcohol whatever it is I drink very little now so if you can try going for two weeks let's just say two weeks no alcohol uh change your nutritions try to eat healthy try to get good sleep it's amazing how much sleep you can get when you don't have any alcohol yes try it for two weeks see how you feel just see if you feel any different because that's what's happened to me if I have a glass of wine I feel like crap the next day I've gotten so used to not having one glass yeah yeah but but anyway all right the the fifth thing is to give back you know volunteer start or get a dog Ruby really like that one volunteer or start a company you know during our career we got fulfillment out of our job but volunteering is a great way to replace that right um and if you're married in a relationship have fun have fun with each other look how much fun we're having and doing this right sorry about flexible with each other you know she's brand new we run into trouble here at times together as a couple but try to find ways to have fun yes some of this was ser ious and it can affect your quality of life and other things are just downright important but all of it is to make this next phase of Life exciting and fun so we hope you enjoyed this and if you did this next video top tips for living longer in retirement on that video we talk not only about living longer but almost as important as living healthier so watch this one next

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Single Retirement (7 Tips to Ward off Loneliness)

there's 10 000 people turn in 65 every day and one half of this population is reaching this age on their own so you're not alone in this phase you need to know that you aren't alone but retiring solo does increase your risk of actually being lonely which can have detrimental impact on your health today we're going to talk about retiring alone or the new buzzword of solo retirement so if you're watching this and you say well that doesn't apply to me and you're a woman stay tuned the reason i say that is unfortunately seven out of ten or seventy percent of baby boomer aged women actually outlive their husbands what are you gonna do with that why are you laughing what are you gonna do without me i don't know what i'll do with that party anyway there's 10 000 people turning 65 every day and one half of this population is reaching this age on their own so you're not alone in this phase you need to know that you aren't alone but retiring solo does increase your risk of actually being lonely which can have detrimental impact on your health so this idea of emotional loneliness you know that people over 65 who suffer from that they have an 18 increase in their mortality rates which is scary so today we'll give you seven strategies to help ward off loneliness and overcome isolation to live a more fulfilling life as a solo retiree so here's the first strategy and this is really important overcoming your financial insecurities now if you are a single woman now or a single person and you're retiring and you don't really have a handle on your finances that's a problem and you're going to be stuck and stifled and not be able to move forward so you need to hire a financial planner and understand your finances and frankly if you're a couple watching this and one of the two of you really gets finances well and the other one doesn't that's not a good place to be no if you're listening to this both of you should pay attention and share the financial information as well as the financial burdens now because ultimately if you listen to that first statistic if you're a woman 70 of us will end up as a solo retiree outliving our partner that's just the medical history that's just the facts you know there are friends down the street who purchased the house from this elderly couple and unfortunately her husband passed away and she decided she wanted to downsize she went to sell the house they got all the way down the road to the closing right and realized he had never changed the title of the house so it took another three months to close and it's just because she had no idea they weren't really sharing the information so it is really important yep so get your finances in order we're not financial planners but definitely find one that was strategy number one strategy number two create a small support group of peers like mark said you're not alone there are many other people in the same place and you want to be able to share your struggles and successes with them yeah because it's it's tough to be alone and it's tough to really be alone but if you can be alone with another person who's alone then you're not alone anymore right that makes sense right kind of yeah good theory i mean you could do weekly coffee you know pick up a class or do some exercise or even just take a long walk it's important to make sure that you connect and have a group of peers yeah relationships are key and having a support group really helps so strategy three is along the lines of that but we're really suggesting that every day you talk to someone on the phone and person whatever it might be make sure you have a conversation with another human being every single day and it might make sense to make a list of people that you can call absolutely makes sense you know friends and family and neighbors you know and never feel like you're imposing and like mark said don't let a day go by that you're not involved in a conversation now it's always better in person because it feels better but if you can't be in person bad weather you know covet kept us all locked up a little bit at least call but be there and frankly what's helpful is not only for you to reach out to get some communication help but be the one supporting other people that's a great way to start having some conversations in a peer group that you're leading it so connect with someone every day strategy number four have a daily plan and a schedule something that adds structure to your life so that you're not always wondering what am i going to do today what's the morning going to be like how am i going to make it through the afternoon really set the tone from the day in the morning now good habits and routines are important and i know a lot of people that like to get up they've worked their whole life and they're retired now and they want to get up and just have a cup of coffee and watch tv watch a little more tv have some more coffee but before you know it it's 11 o'clock and you haven't talked to anybody and you really haven't done much so setting some schedule and some time some self-care time with friends and frankly limit tv i mean i you know watching tv every morning from 7 a.m till noon it's not healthy no but you could even schedule some time to learn to pick up a class to go to the library to read to children to find things in your community that you could do to be helpful and that makes you not alone and isolated so here's the fifth strategy and you've heard this from us so many times and it just makes so much sense this one does come up in a lot of our videos because it helps in so many areas of your life the fifth strategy is exercise every single day move your body move it get up and move it do you know that if you walk 20 minutes a day every day for 20 minutes you can add five years to your life so what about walking with a friend and 20 minutes that's easy walk for 30 minutes with someone and have a chat and catch up so you're now you're exercising and you're communicating with someone you know as we all age movement does become harder but you need to be as active as you can and just know that you can do 20 minutes a day so we hope you do that take it seriously so now let's talk about strategy number six volunteering you know there's so many benefits with volunteering and it's become such a huge part of our retirement transformation program and you know we do bring it up a lot volunteering sharing your wisdom creating your community you know providing yourself with fulfillment sharing and searching your passions we bring that up a lot but it does help with this loneliness and the potential for isolation you know you instantly can find a community of people when you start to volunteer and it could be as basic as working at the local food bank or the library or something but you're going to find dozens of other people in the same position you are in looking for communities so it's really important to give this a shot absolutely strategy number seven would be to try new things learn technology mark and i did a talk one day and there was a bunch of people in the room and one lady raised her hand talking because we were bringing up this strategy about learning technology her name was ava she raised her hand and she talked about the world that technology opened to her allowing her to connect with her family over in italy and how they structured it how she learned face time how she learned zoom how she learned to be able to work all of the technology in her house to really ward off that loneliness and you know how she did it remember her story she got one of her grandchildren to sit with her and work on the iphone with her to learn how to do face time she couldn't believe in her mind that it could happen and then in the end how easy it was for her right so but it really made her feel connected and less lonely and i think utilizing technology in that way is really smart and learn from a younger person it's nice in a community to have people your own age and people younger so and while you're learning technology look for online courses that are out there look for some online learning that can engage you i did that when i went to the university of pennsylvania and i took an entire online online course and i got to zoom in with other kids college kids college kids and i was the old lady but that was great and i made a lot of great contacts doing that no a big thing to remember is you're not alone you can ward off this loneliness but you need to be proactive work on the seven strategies we just mentioned above and listen if you enjoy this please share with your friends and also please subscribe by clicking the subscribe button below don't forget to join our free facebook community the link is down below and it's very interactive where jody and i go live each week you get to ask questions and we can communicate with each other and thanks for listening and we look forward to seeing you again

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Retirement Financial Advice: Money Lessons You Need to Know in Retirement

once your earning years are over and you've built Your Nest Egg for retirement you need to be smart about so many decisions now we're not financial planners and we make that very clear with everyone but we are retired and we do spend time making sure we're doing the right thing financially with our own money because oh bad financial habits and lack of knowledge can actually ruin your we have we have a couple they're good friends and he felt like he knew what to do with the marketplace with his Investments and he clearly didn't because he had his money in stocks when it when they went down and he pulled it out and put it into cash when it went up so for eight years he was on the wrong side of every single one of the stock market moves and because of that he lost a significant amount of his retirement assets and that's really difficult and today we find that they're struggling many of their dreams have vanished and they both actually had to go back to work now there's nothing wrong with work but it's just not what they had planned so we can't emphasize enough right out of the shoot having a financial planner is so important because it gives you a plan it gives you a vision it gives you an idea but it also does this which I think is most important it takes the emotion out of the marketplace which can get the best of you think you know what's going to happen at a new presidential election and frankly you don't that's right so let the experts help you with that because we don't want to have what happened to them happen to you today we want to share some practical ideas that may maintain or even improve your financial situation and again the number one lesson today is don't manage your money without a financial planner and we don't mean a stock broker what we mean is someone who has a fiduciary responsibility to make recommendations that are are really good for you not good for them and they talk to you about the strategies and you might say well sure they do but they also talk to you about withdrawal strategies right how much should you be withdrawing each year in order to preserve your nest day how much do you need each month and then they pull it from the smartest place it needs to come from using tools like tax loss harvesting you can't just take money out of a stock because you want to because you're going to have capital gains right right and you know we're not a big fan of multiple planners but we'll leave that part up to you so the first one is make sure you get a financial planner somebody you're comfortable with the second is keep your emergency fund intact kind of no matter what you need to have emergency savings that doesn't disappear when you retire it's more important than ever to have accessible cash set aside for any type of emergency so two three four months of expenses in a cash account that way your financial planner can invest the rest of your money and always always be thinking about you're going to need more money in 60 days so what can they put you into short term so you want to have this cash account so you can cover any kind of emergency expenses or just if you want to leave stuff in the market a little bit longer you've got some cash or even if you have any big purchases that are coming down the pipe that's true making sure your financial planner knows that you're ready for that so the second thing is the emergency fund now here's another um here's another way that you can get into trouble or you're also a way to dig yourself out of trouble you want to take a look at all your luxuries and make sure that they haven't become a burden because frankly that happened to us we both had jobs we were both working gosh 15 years ago we bought our first boat and we bought four boats over the next 15 years but we could afford it because we both were working we both had money and it was our floating vacation home so to speak I I call the last one that we had a lifestyle about because we went away on that one a lot it was a little bit larger but once we were tired all of a sudden it was like well we don't really want to go out on it the weather isn't good you know we'd rather stay home we'd rather be with for the price of diesel or the price of gas you know the price of storage the price of hauling the price you know all of those things have to be factored in when you have a fixed income yeah and we didn't have the same earning capacity to kind of keep up with the luxury so we stopped using it and then it became a burden like why aren't we using it and it was a year ago now that we decided to sell it and it's sold within a month because we kept really good care of it but the thing is if you have luxuries it's really important to take a look at them and say that's something we're really getting a lot of satisfaction of because it's going to cost you money well there are also luxuries that you have and then there's luxuries you provide for others right so we have six children and we were providing cell phones homeowners insurance auto insurance airline tickets for them and their significant others are partners and you know that was all fine when we were dual income but as they aged and as we aged and as we came into a fixed income place we needed to start peeling some away and giving those responsibilities back to them and they can afford it they all have great jobs and if they're ever stopped but it was a luxury it was to be able to do that for him but but frankly it also gave us a lot of satisfaction a lot of fulfillment to be able to help them right so it was hard for us to Pivot to in our mind take these things away from the kids but they you know at some point they've got to be to stand on their own two feet so and we needed to reduce the support so we sold the boat we paid off two car loans we came to an agreement with the kids and slowly weaning them off of some of these things we've always paid for you know because they they can't afford it and you know they they they're fine with it right they even they say it's kind of silly that you're paying my cell phone bills so it's it's another cord to cut that um you know it's hard to do but we want to encourage you to do it yeah so that was the third one the fourth one is you know really trying to figure out how to live a little below your means you know and that's new for us for our entire career as our income went up our living style and our cost of living and everything we did went up with it you know hard work learning and growing you know we were climbing the corporate ladder Mark was building his business you know it was easy to have your lifestyle kind of follow you yeah and you know we both come from humble beginnings and we improved our lifestyle as we went up but then then it's sort of when when you retire you have to think okay well my income's not going to keep going up as a matter of fact it's going to go down so how do we want to live what are some things we can do to live within our means and even underneath our means so and there were a couple things we had to agree to right so you know I call it shopping for sport right so there's there's no more you're better at that than pickleball kind of just opening up and saying oh you know look what just came into my feed I'll take a look at those earrings or that bracelet or those dresses or those sunglasses I think about it I kind of have a little bit of a sunglass addiction so so you know there was you know we agreed that we would do no more shopping for sport yeah it was one of Instagram Amazon it's so easy to spend money today and you get hooked on this new game you don't even leave your house you don't even leave your house you know keeping up with the Joneses that's not necessary anymore right you know who are the Joneses anyway today it's other retirees we're not taking on any more debt we've paid down most of our debt you know again we have a financial planner and you know we have a more modest wardrobe I mean our fancy or fanciest clothes are for our YouTube channel right and we're eating out less we made the agreement that for health and economic reasons we would eat out less so leave living below your means is something you can control and it's something that you can put some time and intention into so another really important thing to get to know is everything about social security and we we don't know that much about it so our financial planner and our accountant has said you don't need to take it yet and that's kind of all we're thinking about at this point they'll let us know when it makes sense and when it makes sense it'll make sense but you have to really understand or have someone coaching you on what's important because everyone's financial situation is different yeah and I really believe the more you know about it the better off you'll be even if you do your own investigation you know Social Security was not meant to be your primary source of income as you age in America it was meant to be a supplemental income so you have to understand the amounts you can get at what future ages and can you still work and does your state tax it or not you know there's a lot of rules around Social Security and my recommendation would be just get to know your rules in your state around your age just for the knowledge I don't know but I think there's a certain amount of uh you can't earn a certain amount of money and still get Social Security I don't really know but you have to know that's I guess that's the point you really need to know everything about social security check with your account and your financial plan right here's a big one for us and it should be for you too I think you know money will never buy you happiness and we've heard that like our whole lives and so we actually did a little bit of research and you know what really defines happiness for us and we came across this quote and part of it is from Warren Buffett but it says you know we want to do what we want when we want with whom we want for as long as we want and that to us will Define our happiness you know now some of what you do will require money but it's not all about buying stuff and things you know most of what we do for happiness now is experiences I I would think that for us and tell me if you agree but the something we just spent money on is giving us more happiness now for a very low value than anything else I remember paying forever you know what it is your pickleball racket pickleball so we joined the YMCA uh for like eighty dollars a month for the family we bought a pickleball racket for 100 bucks and six balls for eighteen dollars and we're getting like five or six hours of use out of that each week yeah that's happiness that really is making us happy it's not a new car it's not a new set of golf clubs right it's not what we're used to thinking that was um would create happiness and we're also looking at vacations differently right now that we have the full seven days to ourselves many vacations to visit friends or family you know they become Tuesday Wednesday Thursday versus the high traffic weekend Friday Saturday Sunday so many vacations Beach days lunch dates you know we just renting a boat for a day we're doing that with company comes we're renting pontoon boats now for the day to take companies out it's three hundred dollars for a day which in one respect sounds like a lot but it's a lot cheaper than owning a boat right that's true so we still get out on the water now look you clearly need money in retirement we all can agree on that but how much do you need and how much is enough you've got to figure out how much you have how much you can pull out each month and how long it's going to last those are key questions you need to work through with your planner and your account yep and paying attention to some of these things that we just shared will help guide you and keep you out of trouble now we hope you enjoyed this video and if you did you're going to like this next one called the truth about early retirement what they don't tell you it's one of our most popular videos and you know we're not getting any younger so why steal these fabulous years from ourselves our family and our friends watch this one next

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25 Tips for Ensuring a Happy and Strong Marriage in your Retirement Years

retirement can redefine your marriage For Better or For Worse Better or Worse did I say that to us when we got married I think for did I make that vow I don't think so oh come on oh maybe but this new chapter retirement brings both opportunities and challenges to your relationship you know while divorce rates are down in the US gray divorce which is divorce over the age of 50 is on the uptick we don't want you to become part of those statistics no this video is going to be great we're going to give you is it 25 tips for a healthy marriage in retirement in retirement and I want you to pay attention to this I'm going to and me too all right now if you're new here my name is Mark and this is my wife jod and we don't focus on the financial aspects of retirement but rather lifestyle Health relationships and more so if you like this video and you like watching us please hit the Subscribe button and the notification button and we would be forever grateful if you could share this with someone that you care about who who's on their retirement Journey too so I don't know if we've got you know um I can't think of a story that really resonates with listen we know people who got who get divorced you know they they retire One retires and the next thing you know they're divorced and it's probably because they spent all their time apart then they're together and it's um it can be difficult well I also think you know as people are together for longer and longer periods of times without good healthy communication people change and you either need to acknowledge and embrace the change or discuss and discourage the change whatever your thing might be but but you know it all it all comes back down to how important that core unit is yeah and I think that I think that for sure the the marriage that you had when you began was super special that's why you got married and then you had maybe you had children you had your career years and now it's time to rebuild it because times are different and you want to have a good healthy happy marriage for sure and that's what this video is all about absolutely now before we jump into the teaching there's a quick download that we'd love for you to look at if you haven't received it yet on the downsizing dilemma it's one of our most popular downloads so take a look at that because that's something that comes up in a marriage discussion as well once you hit retirement so and you know stay till the end because we're going to give you five action steps to begin the process of building your stronger marriage that's that's key you're going to love that so what's the first step or the first thing we want to talk about for a healthy marriage I feel like this is the first step in quite a few of the videos we do especially as you're in retirement or entering into retirement and it's really communication you know communication is key establishing daily check-ins you know sharing retirement expectations and goals discussing any changes in roles and responsibilities that may come up and also addressing any unresolved issues and addressing them calmly right well so yeah so well yep so well so I'm just trying to think communication and we like you said we do a lot of this this is so important and some people don't even let the conversation start and that's bad they hold back I think men in particular they're afraid to be vulnerable with their wives because they don't want to they're afraid of how you might react let's say so they don't really want to open up how they feel right but this is something we all need to get over to be able to in a kind caring slow thoughtful way share with your partner how you're feeling share with them what you're concerned about share with them what right what what you can do for them today we have daily check-ins every morning we have coffee together for 30 minutes around yoga and cycling and my exercise and walk in the dog 30 minutes a day we kind of establish where are we how are we feeling how are we showing up how do we help each other out and sometimes that 30 minutes gets away from us not going to lie with um social media pressures YouTube comment responding and you know so we do our check-in I don't know if I'd give us the full 30 minutes anymore I feel like that's really cut down to maybe 15 or 20 one cup of coffee and then we got a roll well we should fix that yeah we should because because that's important yeah and we want to be honest about what we're really doing so yeah so I mean here's a here's a little tip if you're just retired or whatever spend 30 minutes each day checking in with each other it's a good one all right Second One Financial transparency typically one or the other of the spouses handles the money right there now needs to be complete transparency with both on how much money you have how much money is coming in how much money is going out what your big expenses are understanding each other spending habits you know on Amazon or wherever you know you just you need to really be open and transparent about that and not not withhold anything well and I think it's it's important because you want to plan for any unexpected expenses right you want to talk about any Financial fears or insecurities you might have and then maybe even consult a financial advisor together you know but really fully creating the space where you know everybody you know let's just all talk about what we're spending and what we're spending it on is a really good first step well and particularly if you both retire at the same time or One retires early there's not the same amount of money coming in right so there can't be the same amount of money going out that's got you've got to curtail your expenses and that's a hard conversation to have no one wants to be told we can't afford that or I don't like you spend so much money on that so but you have to be open about it and you know it's funny the third thing is a lot of um couples that we spoke to talked a lot about having Shar shared an individual interest as one of the key cornerstones to cultivating a really healthy marriage as they age you know some common activities and hobbies they respect and support also though their individual interests or needs so we have pickle ball MH we have golf you have your own golf mhm I have yoga you have yoga I have cycling so that's we have some stuff together and then you know we dinner time when I'm cooking Jody's helping me or you're cooking we're kind of in the kitchen together so I think it's just you know versus you do your thing I do my thing and you know we meet at the end of the day yeah no so you got to really balance togetherness and Independence yep and encourage each other to continue to grow and learn and and try new things you know a lot of times we have couples that one has a ton of hobbies and interest and one doesn't have any so you know it's really encouraging each other I think at the same time so as we age um our health and wellness becomes more important so number four is sharing doing building a life around health and wellness together and that means exercising regularly together adopting a a healthy diet as a couple making sure we both go see our doctors and we actually have the same uh skin doctor the same GP the same uh naturopath doctor so we go together right um you know I drive Jody sits next to me or do you sit in the back I drive Miss dais I would love that that could be Miss Daisy I think that um doing that together and being open and honest about what the doctor says right and Shar you know talking about medication prioritizing sleep and rest that's got to be an open part of your discussion again this is about having a healthy marriage right and it's hard to PRI prioritize sleep and rest if you're on different schedules you know Mark is a super early riser 4 in the morning I'm more of a six o00 girl um um so you know you like to get into bed a lot earlier I commit to getting in bed at the same time as you but then I want to read because I can't go to sleep that early so it's just really having again that conversation I think the next one which leads into uh quality time and romance planning regular date nights even in retirement celebrating anniversaries and special occasions showing appreciation and in and affection every day how do we do that well when we wake up in the morning you're already awake I wake up and come out I walk the dog and I always come in and give you a kiss yeah before you brush your teeth I do driv are crazy bad it's a tight kiss it's like this I'm a teeth brusher I like a good teethbrush well to your point you know um you reached this phase of life and maybe the romance is gone or it's the flame is not as high you really need to reignite that flame you need to work on it and if you need listen if you need therapy you should get therapy but if you want to help healthy romance you need to have quality time together healthy marriage you need to have quality time together and you need to have romance I mean you need to if you have to schedule can I say sex sure if you want to schedule sex to have sex schedule it we did a great video on sex after 60 or something yeah with a therapist a therapist and she at the end said listen if you're having trouble with sex and it's not happening she gave us exercise at the end get in to bed together naked touch each other all over but it can't seexual right have we done that yet I I don't know but you you went there really really fast I just thought about it for people who are stuck here because you're watching this video and you're think we don't have any romance don't give up right don't give up give up for sure for sure okay uh the sixth thing would be navigating social changes right building a Social Circle with other retirees staying connected with family and friends volunteering and engaging in community activities all of these things to address any feeling ings of loneliness or isolation you might have even hosting Gatherings you know into your home together so we're having dinner tonight with friends that live across the street another couple and they become sort of our group therapy couple because we're really open about our marriages and our struggles and some things that we're doing new you know that that's like unheard of but we are so comfortable with them and comfortable with each other we're okay sharing and they're okay sharing and it's really nice to have another couple that you can talk openly about your relationship it's true right yeah that's true yeah for sure all right number seven continuous learning and growth this is really important a lot of people think I'm done with my career and I'm just going to sit back I don't really need to learn anything gosh there's so much you can learn or relearn or unlearn the wrong way and learn the right way you can take classes you can do workshops together share knowledge we're always always kind of quizzing each other on on what we're learning the big word for this curiosity yeah stay curious curious and open to new experiences you know I hate playing cards I hate games I really do you can just ask our kids cuz they ask him all the time so we had dinner with these couple we're seeing again tonight couple a week ago and said you guys want to come over at 5:30 for pizza and play cards I'm like the pizza part I like I actually had the greatest time ever playing cards I didn't want it to end I know and I went in there with a different mindset I said you know what different experience everyone around me all my kids they love cards and I don't right it's not wrong with them it's wrong with me so this is still under the continuous learning learning bucket so even a card game is a good thing well 7A right between seven and eight is learning how to play cards there you go so we know we have to put it in there 28 y um you know adapting to a new home Dynamic you know you're both there full-time now that's different right it is different you need to redefine household responsibilities and kind of create your own personal spaces within your home and discuss expectations about home life you know does one of you like to watch The Morning News and the other wants to read the paper in quiet well back in the day one could go to the office and read the paper and the other could you know get dressed while the news was on or whatever it might be but there's going to be big changes and really need to navigate those changes inside your daily routine and talk about it so when your Dynamics are a little when you're a little at of sort you're at home and you're at of sorts with what's happening what your wife or husband is doing you have to find um time and space to address any conflicts promptly right I and constructively I was always the worst if things weren't the way I wanted them to be and they were out of s sorts i' withdraw into my cave and I would go in there and I'd shut down I'd be quiet that is the worst thing that I ever did to you I don't think I do it anymore at all maybe 10% but I used to go 120% all in and you'd say to me all day you okay I'm fine you're kind of quiet I just don't feel like talking but the difference was our home Dynamics were changing and you weren't really was I wasn't yeah what you were concerned about I wasn't addressing the conflict properly so now something happens I say hey I want to let you know how what you just did made me feel not looking for a response and just open up a line of communication the ninth thing would be respecting and understanding each other just kind of in a broad C category right acknowledging and validating each other's feelings being patient with each other to any adjustments that is required As you move through this transition yeah and I think cultivating um a feeling of empathy and compassion is really important and respecting each other's viewpoints we don't agree on a lot of things but I respect your Viewpoint and you respect mine and then we decide what we're going to do going forward and honestly I think that practicing forgiveness if you cannot forgive your partner for something they did 10 minutes ago or 10 years ago you're going to carry that around and it's going to be a wound that's going to prevent you from really getting close again I age so I agree I'm not great at forgiving you're really good at forgiving do you forgive me for all of my sins do I know all of your sins well to you oh yes oh good so Lu we started fresh I'm glad I'm glad we got to this one today no I'm again I joke around a lot forgiveness is really important we're going to make mistakes we're going to say stupid things going to we're going to be a jerk sometimes and I think you just need to apologize own up to it and forgive the other person okay the 10th thing is future plan planning really discussing long-term goals and dreams you know plan for any potential health issues that one or the other of you might have consider your living arrangements later in life what do you both Envision that to look like you know update your Wills your legal documents and talk about any Legacy and Family Matters talk about them early and talk about them often and talk about them together right you don't jod has three daughters I have three sons you know we we we have I talked to my boys about certain things J talks to her girls but anything about future planning trips Legacy Family Matters Jody and I talk to them together it's really important to be United on that particularly with a blended family 100% for sure all right so there's there's a lot of change in this phase of life so number 11 is embracing change together you know accepting the change that retirement brings you're both home home now you're both there all day long and you need to be open to adjusting plans and your expectations and gosh you got to have a lot of flexibility right yeah and you have to really realize and we all need to realize as this huge generation of us is embracing and moving in through the transition of retirement that it is one of the top 20 most stressful events you'll ever go through in your life is retiring oddly enough so you know celebrate this new phase of life together and support each other through the transition even though you might not be at the same phase yeah you know I think that uh we talked about health before and we talked about Legacy and talking about embracing change um taking care of each other as we age you know one of the things that maybe we haven't talked enough about really is what if one of us gets sick right yeah you going to take care of me of course I will oh good no but I think that's important because all of a sudden it's upon you yeah and you haven't talked about it now it's kind of a shock right um so I think that's that's really important um number 12 effective conflict resolution again for me I was really bad at this I'm a lot better but when there's some conflict really need to develop healthy ways to address disagreements you can't blame um you want to focus on Solutions right you really don't want to blame the other person okay something happened what can we do to fix it right and you have to practice some active listening skills right where you're asking questions along the way not closed-ended questions but open-ended questions and really showing empathy for what the other person's going through and feeling free to take a time out if this discussion gets heated Mark will do that sometimes he'll say up I'm full I had enough we're going to have to pause on this and I'm right mid stride and you get mad at me I do because it's hard because I'm I'm a task completion person so I'm ready to just work it all out and you need more time than I do so working towards compromise for Mutual satisfaction I think makes a big difference there's a couple I know that have a code word I honestly think it was my brother and his wife but there's a code word so when things are getting heated things are out of control they had a code word that they would say one of them would say and that just kind of said okay it's time to take a break instead of continuing the yelling or the screaming or the pushing or the blaming just saying you know what I this isn't working right now I want to come up with a solution but we're headed in the wrong direction let's take a little pause well I know our daughter Evan and her boyfriend Hayden have a conversation where if it's going in a wrong direction one or the other will say let's roll that back oh and that gives the person a chance to roll back the direction or what does that mean like a undo what you just said no not undo it like like let's let's roll that back because this isn't going in the right direction and they can then have a conversation about redirecting the conversation I thought it was a good Str again this is about healthy marriages healthy relationships so these are all good tips and good ideas and the 13th one we kind of discussed a little bit earlier but maintaining intimacy and closeness prioritizing your physical and emotional intimacy which I think is really as important as the physical intimacy you know CU as you get older your intimacy needs change and be open to new ways of expressing love and kindness right scheduling regular time for intimacy which I think you already talked about when is that Sundays at 3 and um is that when it is I don't know got footballs on I don't know if that's I tell you what it's today at 5 um but also seeking professional help you know if you need to face some challenges together don't be afraid of getting therapy right either individually or as a couple if you've been together for 20 or 30 or 40 years gosh don't you know this whole saying about the grass is greener on the other side it's so true and do the best you can to work through your problems but get some professional help if you need it the other thing you really need is a supportive Network right and again I talk about a couple across the street he's a great guy for me to go to he understands me he understands jod he understands our relationship I can talk to him about something I'm struggling with with jod and he's really good at just saying you know not really saying a lot just listening so building a supportive Network for yourself and as a couple I think is important yeah I think to really maintain friendships that enrich your marriage right support your marriage you know connecting with individuals or other couples that are in the Life same life stage as you participating in community or religious group you know activities you know that you can do together you know and offering support to friends and then accepting that support back in return I think is really important during this stage and I think the children too you know our our children are adults now you know my sons are 30 I'll get this wrong 38 36 34 more or less they're they're grown young men yeah they are and they do provide a a supportive Network for me we don't share like when we're struggling but just to have conversations with them is helpful too and you're really good with your daughters yeah but I I think with the girls I actually do share when I'm struggling because I I value their perspective so that might be well a new layer for you and the boys well maybe me a new layer for the girls and I cuz I'm picking up um Maddie tomorrow uh at the airport and I'll be with her for an hour and a half so I could check in with her on what you're telling her okay is that what we think is that how it's going to go all right setting personal and Joint goals you know um a healthy marriage needs growth it needs uh fun it needs excitement and you need to have some goals as a human being and as a couple so we do a lot of individual goals but we do a lot of joint goals we do we do and celebrating those achievements big and small keeping each other accountable and motivated you know is uh It's Tricky but it's something that I think really supports this one about setting goals and celebrate achievements you know I had a I'm almost finished with my book and there's been a whole bunch of different achievements and you've been my biggest fan yeah well I'm excited for it yeah I am too but you know I think I think keeping each other accountable to their goals too and being motivated is really important okay here's one we're struggling with we struggle with this one I'm surprised it's number 16 well it's not in any kind of order but managing time effectively we gosh you know we have this business we love it YouTube Channel's doing great uh but you know balancing personal time couple time so couple time for us is pick a ball Tuesdays and Thursdays and golf on Thursday and we're missing out on that right now yeah we got the puppy we little Ruby which helps but you've really got to spend some time at this and allocate time for relaxation and Leisure right for each other and alone time and and really prioritize the tasks and activities that are most important and everything can't be important right and then also be flexible to some spontaneous plans I think that's where we really fail I love spontaneity did I say it right I think you did spontaneity um 17 enhancing your emotional intelligence This falls under communication but really work on understanding each other's emotions when when I see that you are I'm going to say wound up or stressed or anxious it's because you're concerned about making sure what you're working on people will appreciate and and that it'll be the best that you can deliver and that's a great thing that you feel that way but I know it takes a lot of energy and I'm getting much better at recognizing that you're not stressed out you're not mad you're not angry you're just trying to make something really good for somebody else right right and I think learning to express that constructively really helps because sometimes when you just say you know like well what's a matter and I'm like well nothing's the matter I'm just deep into a research project or I'm deep into writing a script or I'm deep into you know trying to find a new book that we can you know help you know with clients or whatever but sometimes when you just say what's the matter it puts me on my heels for sure you like this is kind of like us kind of revealing it's like doing therapy with a camera exactly they're not saying anything I know leave the comments below let us know what you think but the other thing is that Jody and I are getting really good at and we're you know listen we're we're a work in progress defin we're a work in progress but we're we're study this stuff for ourselves and for you but recognize and appreciate each other's strengths and we're getting so much better at that I kind of give you free Liberty on what you're good at and I don't worry about it right and then we try to engage in activities that boost our emotional well-being you know we sometimes we meditate together we journal in the morning at the same time so here's a big one for couples you know trying to stay together and happy and that is really handling health challenges together you know really being prepared for age related health issues support each other through any health setbacks share responsibility and Health Care Management and stay informed about each other's medical needs you know this is the way to encourage a proactive approach to health and wellness and I think we we spout that a lot well we spout it but we haven't dealt with it we're very fortunate that both of us are healthy and there there's some minor things but nothing really bad knock on wood but someone left a comment on YouTube just uh this morning she just retired she's 62 her husband is 20 years older and because of that her they've been married for a long time because of that her dreams of traveling now have kind of vanished and she's struggling with that right and so so things like that can happen to your to your relationship if one of you does get sick and they can't TR so you really need to have backup plans or or talk ahead of time that you know if you do get sick we're not going to travel I'm fine with that yeah my sister-in-law's mom does that her husband can't travel for some health related issues and she goes everywhere but they agree upfront the things that he can do locally they do together and then the things she does abroad she does with girlfriend that's such a great example we should really add that comment for that couple because there's something a 62 and an 80-year-old can do together right and the younger partner can still do some stuff alone absolutely I love that absolutely all right continue to Foster mutual respect for each other you know this feeling of uh oh I don't know taking advantage taking for granted yeah is that what what you making Google I again no but you really want to stay consistent with your respect in words and actions appreciate each other's contributions to the relationship yeah and really celebrate each other 's uniqueness right practicing kindness and gratitude for each other every day even on Small Things y you know this morning Mark made the bed I'll be honest that doesn't happen a lot not what do you mean well I usually 20% of I'm last person out of bed so I figure I'm the person to make the bed but this morning you made the bed and it was really kind and I was very grateful my friend John won't let his wife make the bed cuz he makes it so much better than anybody he does it tight he does it tight does um all right come on on number 20 plan for the unexpected so plan for it at least discuss it right so discuss and prepare for unforeseen events financial problem a health problem a death of of uh a friend and you need a continuously plan for emergencies you really have to be you have to talk about everything that could potentially happen so at least you've talked about it and when it happens if it happens you're not totally taken by surprise and really just stay adaptable to life surprises right this time of life there will be some surprises but building a support system with you and your spouse together for tough times you know really really helps and it helps you maintain a positive outlook through all those challenges and this next one is really what's saved our marriage really cultivating a sense of humor I'm the class clown I'm the Joker I create all of the happiness around the house because I get you to laugh every day you really believe that no but we do push ourselves on sense of humor look we're laughing now laugh together regularly see I just did I think it's more important Mark does think he's the funniest man alive you know he'll always say I'm so funny and I'm like yeah where that one didn't land but I do think it's um important not to take yourself so seriously in this phase of life especially if you're trying new hobbies trying new activities trying new things trying new groups trying new religious whatever you're trying that's new you may or may not be good at it so don't take yourself so seriously here's what I do and it does get me in trouble I use humor to diffuse tension if there's tension I'll try to crack a joke sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't because sometimes I'll crack a joke and you'll say I can't believe he just said that right I'm trying to be serious but I I I feel tension and you know that's what I or sometimes you'll just do that laugh well yeah sometimes I just start laughing he just starts laughing and we're in the middle of like a like a tough topic and he'll just start laughing and then I just get incensed and just crazy so and I'm laughing because you're nervous I'm nervous plus I'm thinking maybe she's explained it enough when is when is she going to take a breath give me a chance to weigh in thanks so much that it could be that all right number 22 sharing responsibilities equitably right so dividing some household chores this is important as you are going to spend 7 days a week you know 24 hours a day together dividing chores fairly discussing and agreeing on decision-making process around different things and both of you showing financial responsibility yeah during this phas I think that's a pretty easy one to get your head around but it's something necessarily you have to communicate about it if someone thinks they're doing more of the household chores responsibilities than the other you need to say that right I mean I feel badly that you make the bed every day like you just said on YouTube but I I I'll I'll do it more you what I don't know I'm glad you make the bed when you make it but I made it today and I think I did a good job almost to the end all right practicing gratitude and appreciation appreciation so I journal every morning and I write down my three gratitudes my first one is always jod with a hyphen and something about her I'm grateful for and I know you sneak and look at it sometimes cuzz you live little heart signs and you leave little notes but listen I practice gratitude every day with jod and it's helped our relationship a lot when you really screw up which is rare but you have doesn't matter anymore our relationship is bulletproof I wonder if we should do a whole YouTube segment on when jod screwed up I'd love to see what very rare very rare everyone but no and ALS again I'm joking practicing gratitude and appreciation for the other person is important it doesn't hurt it's not not that hard to say thank you and it doesn't have to be big acts it can be small acts of kindness thank you for making the bed thanks for emptying a dishwasher thanks for cooking dinner right right that's what I want to hear more of okay um keeping a gratitude Journal together I haven't really looked in your Journal you have it am I in there you're in there you and little rucious all right number 24 investing in personal development you know I think it's important and we've done some research that it is important to encourage each other's individual growth you know supporting the new hobbies or educational Pursuits that one or the other of you might want to do and share some learning insights with your partner as you go along the way we we're the king and the queen of this we are so into personal development we can't wait to get our hands on a new book that someone recommended to us we do a lot of reading for you guys I mean all of these these 25 came from books and research so we invest a lot in personal development not money but just time and we share it with each other and we challenge each other it really is helpful all right so here's number 25 and then stay tuned because we have the five action steps we're going to leave you with celebrate your milestones and your retirement achievements celebrate your retirement mileston Milestones yeah we're married uh 14 years it's past August coming on 15 next year I'm 67 you'll be 40 2 I'll be 42 I love that idea I know but I think reflecting on your journey and your grow together is important and we do talk about this a lot we've come a long way from 15 years ago or 17 years ago whatever and you know we're always readapting rethinking about our future milestones and and and really these retirement experiences that we're having we try to share them with each other you know whether it's hey I'm really nervous I'm joining a ladi's golf league I you know I'm not a great golfer I'm just a learner but and I don't know a person there and I'm nervous but I shared that with you in a vulnerable way um you know you said you know just go get them but go get them go get them you go you got it you go you got it but um okay so here are the five action steps five action steps you can take to build a healthy marriage first one can't say it enough open and honest communication you want to schedule regular uninterrupted uninterrupted time to talk about your day your feelings and your concerns and the other person needs to practice active listening empathy and understanding and again show your appreciation and gratitude every single day I agree number two is joint financial planning we don't do financial planning but reviewing and adjusting your retirement budget together being transparent about spending habits and financial goals and plan for any long-term needs including your health care needs these are really that's really important to do and I think it's it's an important step for everyone it is shouldn't be any undisclosable your financial situation no surprises number three prioritizing health and wellness cannot emphasize this enough communication knowing your finances and being Health um health conscious is really really important we we have a joint exercise routine you know pickle ball and golf and golf isn't really exercise but we do physical activ together we eat together so we adopt a healthy diet we walk together we go to the doctors together um we support each other with our medical concerns and you know we do stress reducing activities you do yoga I do meditation mindful walk so prioritizing health and wellness will lead to a healthier marriage and the fourth thing is to cultivate those shared and individual interest is interests you know identify hobbies and activities you can do to together and encourage and support each other to pursue individual passions I think we talked about that one enough but that's a really important one number five this is it might be hard for you guys but regular relationship check-ins we do it every day we check in with each other every single day I'll admit this morning was a little bit rough this morning was a little crazy a little rough rough um and you know we didn't really get a chance to talk about it but we kind of aired it today on on here so I feel better you know I didn't get a kiss this morning but that's all right but celebrate your accomplishments and Milestones in your marriage revisit and revise your goals but gosh just have a check-in on how you're doing as a couple so listen we covered a lot here today and we hope you made some notes and have a good list to start working on your marriage together so if you like this video this next one don't make these marriage mistakes will be great to watch we outline all the mistakes that you can make that you shouldn't and it really complements what you learned here today so watch this next

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Why do People Struggle the First Year in Retirement? We were surprised!

the first year of retirement isn't always the dreamy Escape many people imagine no it's not maybe one of the most significant transitions in your life it was for us and it probably is going to be for you and that's because it's filled with all the unexpected challenges roadblocks and adjustments you have to make in this new pH and I think it's really important to understand that if you fail to navigate this first year you might find yourself questioning your entire decision to retire and today we're going to give you some strategies to feel empowered to overcome any of the struggles you might find do we ever feel like we made a mistake and we should still be working I do sometimes do you I do back in your corporate life I oh my good I do I know but listen and I'm sure some people do maybe but if you're new here I'm Mark Rollins and this is my wife Jody Rollins we don't focus on the financial aspects of retirement but rather life lifestyle Health relationships and more and we're so happy you're here today and it really would be helpful to us if you could share this video with anyone else that you know or care about that's in their retirement Journey too and you know join our free Facebook community at retirement transformed we go live each week and offer guidance support strategies to make this chapter the best it can be so before we jump in I want to remind you that this first year of retirement really sets the foundation for all the future years to come so you want to be able to equip yourself with the knowledge that you need you want to stay proactive and embrace this new Journey with a lot of confidence you know we know dozens of people who are floundering in this first year of retirement and it's really not pretty to watch I was at a bridal shower this past weekend and a woman across the table from me said um you know I heard her talking to someone else and she said I'm terrified and I thought oo this will be an interesting conversation we're at a bridal shower I'm not sure what there is to be terrified about but she's a teacher and this is her last year so in June she's done done after 35 years of teaching the third grade and she said I'm I'm literally terrified I don't know where to start that is scary and it it's scary for everyone I'm not saying it's scarier for a teacher or doctor whatever but if this is all you've known and you know teachers have a special kind of thing they they work from the middle of August through the end of June and then I have the summer off right and you do that for 30 40 years right and it's a routine that you're comfortable with and you get enjoy it you get fulfillment right what do you how do you feel that so the first year is really really important to get that right my dad screwed it up big time I mean he without a doubt he's a good example of someone who made a lot of mistakes in his first year and I you know I I tell people that retirement actually killed my dad because he just didn't know how to get through this first year and set himself off in a spiral which yeah he was he was unprepared and a lot of people do enter this phase of their life maybe prepared financially but unprepared emotionally and with all of the kind of red flags that start to come their way you know your dad really just couldn't reinvent himself he lived in the used to world yeah it was it was bad but you know we do know plenty of people who think this phase is easy and for some people they actually make the transition smoothly but for others like my dad you know like I said it can actually kill you if you don't really get it right so we should cut the mystery and jump into what people really struggle with yeah and I think the first thing we see in people that we know and clients that we have and talks that we have given as well as the research that we do is this major loss of identity that hits you probably a week or two after you retire ire yeah and for a long time whether you're a teacher or a doctor or a lawyer or an insurance agent or a corporate executive we derived a lot of our selfworth from our job roles right I mean that's just the way it was and it you know when you first got out of college and started your job it was one thing but by the time you ended up you were at a much higher very senior level in your company and that was your identity and when that identity no longer exists you really find yourself in a strange danger zone right you know without an identity in retirement you can have feelings of worthlessness and and really have a hard time finding your purpose and passion so it's really a reinvention of source so in your first year this is going to happen you're going to lose your identity and you really need to start thinking about creating a new one you don't want to go too long like my dad did and spend the next 10 years holding on to or feeling sad about losing your identity you want to make a new one it's really really important now the other thing that people struggle with in the first year of retirement is financial concerns and that's normal right because you're moving from a time in your life when you have a steady paycheck or an expense account or whatever it might be health insurance all of that is just coming at you automatically yeah and then it stops it does stop and then you have your nest egg and Market volatility can add to your stress you know if you've planned properly up to that moment but then have to make different financial decisions moving forward maybe riskier or less risky Investments depending on you know how you're advised you find yourself in a little bit of a budgeting process that becomes really crucial to how you're going to live this first year well it's a good point and we spend 30 40 Years of our life accumulating assets right just adding to it adding to it adding to it 401 okay whatever it might be but then that stops and now you go into this new phase called uh decumulation where you're actually taking your savings and your assets and living on that and that is mentally is a really hard financial concern so in the first year you've really got to make sure that you figure that out and get comfortable with it and have a good plan a good financial plan or you know really nail your financials yeah really and then you know we hear a lot from people you know that they're bored they're bored in retirement you know they don't really have a routine that they can stick to and they really struggle that first year getting away from you know the the structure and accountability that they had with their work days just this morning I was down watching the sun come up and I ran into my friend who retired a year ago and he keeps himself busy but you know I was checking with him and say how's it going cuz it's it's okay it's okay how's your you know how's your new uh career that you're doing he's a he's a writer now and he's writing he said well it's interesting you know I watch you guys on YouTube and you talk a lot about um having routines and I find that it's easier not having a routine which it is but then he doesn't do what he wants to do which frankly is harder if you don't have some routines built in and some plans for your day in the first year of retirement you're going to get used to not having routines you're going to get used to not getting things done and you're not going to like it you just are not going to like it so I think that it's easier to have routines maybe harder to get moving in that direction but once you have them your life becomes so much easier I don't know how you think about no I I agree with you I do know we get a lot of push back on people who want to just abandon routine because they've lived 35 or 40 years in a strict routine and I really advise people I think it's okay to let it go for a little while but not too long so that you know as they say the proverbial horse is out of the barn and now you can't get it back you wake up every day what am I going to do today that is not a good position to be in for a whole year for sure now the other thing that you can struggle with and you might struggle with right out of the box when you leave your career is social isolation I know for me I had you know 80 people working in my company I was the CEO and I had great relationship with these people and it was kind of like Fridays were what are you going to do this weekend what's going to happen Mondays were how was your weekend what did you do how are the kids how are the grandkids all of this stops right and then it's just you and me I really I really it's important to remember that um you know those relationships that you had at work even extending out to you know I knew a lot of you know my co-worker spouses and their children and I watch them grow and go through college you know you have that longevity of your story your relationship story with these folks and some of them you will bring with you but a lot of them get kind of left behind in the situational kind of friendship bucket um so the big message here is you need to is to replace it you've got to find Community whether it's joining a health club or you know we do pickle ball we talk about that a lot going back to church or religious institution Social Clubs community centers Gym classes gym classes reaching out to your friends make a list of all your friends and start contacting them because you don't want to struggle with social isolation in your first year it's really going to bring you down you know and the fourth thing that we really wanted to talk about was your health and physical activity because I know we did this when we retired you know we were like you know we're just going to go ahead and relax and eat and drink and just sleep late and you know we got a little sluggish there for a while and it wasn't healthy for us and we did course correct and um you know not saying seven days a week you know 30 days out of the month we're always on track we do stay on the health and wellness you know Mission because as you age health challenges come your way it just happens well the other big thing that you could find yourself struggling with is when you first retire in your first year depending upon your circumstances with your partner in in this case jod and I as a married couple that relationship can struggle because we both had work we had our careers we had time at home but every all the Dynamics change when both of you now are home all day long and Frank of this business for us is really helpful because it gives us something to do together but we also do a lot of things on our own we do and and you know while the business is helpful it adds stress and boundaries become even more important I think so if you're starting a business in retirement which we should maybe do a series on that we are we definitely are because there is some Milestones that we uncovered well the other thing that people struggle with in the first year is getting used to setting goals like you said a lot of people say gosh you guys do all this planning and stuff but you need to if you don't set some goals for yourself because you were used to that during your career right you set work rated Milestones um you might find yourself without goals a little bit aimless and at least having personal goals on your physical or whatever it might be yeah I think the big difference with goals is now you have a chance to hold yourself accountable and your goals can be aimed at things that you're really interested in right and then if you're really interested in for example I've been trying to I've been practicing I don't know that I'll ever end the practice but you know different things in yoga and I set goals for for myself no one else is holding me accountable I mean you would have no idea no I but you come home and you tell me about the new stances like the the the one-legged chicken is that one of the things it is not one but we'll do a whole another yoga series I guess well I think again having goals is really important and you know just a a couple more things your emotional well-being it's easy to get in this first year and all of a sudden find yourself sad and down and cre uh you know that stuff will will creep into your life if you're not doing everything we said you know what's funny about this this emotional well-being one because I'm so sad all we actually had a little bit of a tussle this morning you think and sometimes I wonder if in retirement you have more time to think about things mhm and you know maybe you create a mountain out of a mole hill you think no no no what is this I didn't do that yes you did my finger never you're the one that built this huge mountain this morning out of a mole hill so you know I wonder if this is something to really focus on you know you know recognize emotions that you have and consider even you know seeking some counsel on it so now I need a therapist for our relationship this this whole first year of retirement can be very very difficult without a doubt definitely it's meant to be fun and exciting so we don't want to find ourselves in a rut and unsure what to do next yeah I mean trust us when it when we tell you if you get into some good rhythm in your first year the rest of your retirement can become all that you dreamed of like our retirement right that's so funny we hope you enjoyed this video and if you did this next one a happy retirement is in your control we talk about how to bring healthy habits into your life so that you can flourish in retirement so watch this one next

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One’s Retired. One’s Not. How to Survive the Retirement Transition.

Rhythm plays a big part in successful marriages when both Partners work or even when one works they have lives outside of their relationship together and these Separate Lives become part of their identity even if one of the spouses is a stay-at-home partner they usually by now have had routines that work really well both in the home and outside of the home and when One retires the Rhythm is a bit disrupted to say to the least it could be a tornado the peaceful Harmony is gone and replaced by some chaos and stress you know it's funny we just started watching a new show on TV called shrinking husband and wife are in the kitchen life's been a stay-at-home she's got a routine she she does rocks what does she do polishes she's all this stuff the husbands I don't know I forget what he is a lawyer or something like that but he's just about to retire and he's in the kitchen and the wife looks at him and says hey look it or more like this hey look it Derek Derek before you retire you need to find something to keep you out of the house each day I've been running this house for 30 years and I don't want my life disrupted and it's funny because his response was no I've been out of the house for 30 years and now I think you need to find something outside the house it's my time to be home that was actually pretty fun it was pretty funny but you can see without some tools this could be a rocky start to the retirement phase right so there's a way to smooth this transition and let's get into some ways that people can do this so that you don't find yourself really in a tough spot and the first way without a doubt is like those two just did communicate expectations well I don't think they did that very well well they started a conversation they started a conversation there's got to be verbal conversation about this you can't hope things are going to work out you've got to say what your expectations are because there's going to be a lot of difference of opinion on what they want to do yeah a lot of change is coming right and you know 50 percent of couples differ on what they want to do in retirement and that can impact them in a lot of ways and even financially so way before you retire five years before you need to start talking about this as a couple right right and even even ask yourself ask your partner as ask yourself first maybe and ask your partner some questions you know what do you dream about in retirement you know where do you want to live yeah how about downsizing do we want to downsize which is a big one yep and if you have kids where do they fit in right and grandkids these are all important issues that you need to talk about as a couple really in the initial phase or pre-retirement would be a great time to talk about it right and I know during our career we had a tough time fitting in date night with the responsibility of the kids and all of that I think date night and retirement's almost just as important if not more important to have a little bit of time to check in well because a lot of people feel you're spending 24 hours a day seven days a week together now there's no real reason to create that special time to check in but we're saying there is and what's our special time we have coffee every morning markets up super early I do not I get up at six and we have about 30 or 45 minutes every morning before we start well you've already started your routine but before I really started every morning we do that and we talk about you know how are we feeling we check in with each other what are our dreams for today this week this month we plan our day it's just it really gives us a chance to always check in which is really helpful for us and maybe that's something you want to try so communicate and communicate often and stay in touch is one big piece another big piece is finances you know finances are an area of disruption in marriages and certainly an area of disruption in retirement who is going to deal with the money matters who's going to pay the bills and do you agree on Money Matters yeah well it's true there was a study we found by Fidelity Investments from 2021 that said 25 percent are couples 25 percent of couples are irritated by their spouse's pen spending habits and relationship with money and that's before retirement right so that irritation enhances even more once you retire because many of you are retiring and you've already built your nest egg and many of you are working with a financial planner which is great so you have knowledge of your finances but when you retire it takes getting used to not having that steady paycheck right and when it stops there are some areas you need to focus on and adjust yeah I mean there's things like taxes your monthly expenses you know do you still need you know all the fancy cable travel plans do we really want to do that big trip or not but you need to save for it right you know downsizing dreaming of a second home you know one of the big ones that our financial planner has really pushed on us is this idea of withdraw stress strategies right making sure that you know before you could just hit the ATM and you know you had income coming in you could withdraw whenever you wanted now it's a little different well also the 401K right Social Security optimizing that when's the right time to do that and having a rainy day fund for unexpected medical expenses right right so okay so the third broad category is establishing boundaries right so this is again this is your bread and butter no it isn't this is again under the big topic of topic of keeping Harmony As you move into retirement right you have to find a way to ex to respect each other's time especially if one's still working and the other isn't you know your space you know one house with two separate schedules potentially if you're retiring at different times you know how you're going to spend your down time you know your TV time your reading time your cooking time yeah because even your cleaning time if one of you is working and you're working from home and one of you is like bound and determined to vacuum the whole house every morning at nine it's just not gonna work you know so you have to adopt each other's schedule you know for me it's important to find a place and a time for a long time time for separate friends outside of the house and all of these need boundaries and agreement so you don't find yourself banging up against each other doing each other's activities it creates stress and you don't need that you know we have friends who are actually clients of ours and she was a teacher and he's run his business a sports marketing firm out of their home for years she was a teacher so she was gone from seven to five every day let's say and now she's home and she's doing everything she's she loves to do she's hosting Mahjong and swim parties and lunch with friends she's taken a cooking class well all of that is happening in their house which is giving her really good fulfillment because she's amazing amazing he's like what's going on but he's trying to run a business in the same space so that's an example of where boundaries and communication really needs to come in you really want to respect each other's activities and priorities and space so you don't again step on each other's toes yeah so that the fourth big category of advice that we have in this in this in this arena is what what is your division of labor now that one of you is retired how do you split the chores who's going to cook who's going to shop who's going to pay the bills this is a whole new conversation I think at this point you can't make Grand assumptions that now that you're retired you're going to do all of that yeah and that's true and the other and I think what you want to make sure you do is do what you pick the things that you're good at and you like to do I love to cook I don't really like to shop well hangout I'm good at shopping I don't love it no but but I'm good at it yeah I'm good at cooking and you love it I do love it you don't love shopping who loves grocery shopping I'll take the shopping over too oh cooking and shopping cooking and shopping wow that's a win for me today here's the other thing and I don't I don't know what it's like in your house but I'm the I'm the guy that fixes stuff yeah so what I don't want to get from Jody every morning is a list of things that have to get fixed home repairs house maintenance car repairs you know there there are things that have to get done your car needs to go in and that's my responsibility I need I need to do it but I don't want a list right to put under my nose every day but this idea of talking about who's going to do what and it's not just about chores and cooking and bills but even who's responsible for scheduling activities who's a social butterfly that's right or me right so I end up doing you know golf dates pickleball dates dinner arrangements travel arrangements and that's fine I do actually like doing those things so that helps us stay in our Rhythm you know in the beginning we talked about how couples find a natural Rhythm that will take them through many years of their marriage and maybe the one that you had worked and worked well but the newly retired person shouldn't get a free ride on being engaged in the Rhythm yeah you know we've we have clients that get in trouble with this because you've got that example on the TV show shrinking uh where you've got someone who's in charge of the house and has her routine and everything's going really well and then the retired spouse comes in and says all right so what are we going to do all day right and they're like well no you do your thing I'll do my thing I'll meet you later for dinner so you have to be really careful you do but the other big thing is this whole idea of one person retiring before the other it's going to create a lot of change in your life and you need to understand that the change is going to come it's going to create friction and stress so if that's happening the right thing is happening you just need to walk your way through it and talk about it the person who's retiring you know the person who retired earlier stayed home has interest hobbies and groups and friends the new person retiring needs to create new interests new hobbies new groups and new friends we think so right because that's the way you build community and you stay active what you want to make sure that you're doing is if one is working and one is retired and the retiring spouse is crushing it in all those areas you want to make sure you're looping in the working spouse so people you know don't feel left out you all of a sudden have new friends and new interests and new hobbies which is awesome but remember to Loop in the working spouse too and I think the other thing is you've got to keep your relationship alive and healthy it's really important when one of these changes takes place that you're dedicating enough time to each other to show you care about them you're concerned about them and you love them back to your point on date night don't I do that well you do you always feel loved I do oh good good so look retirement is something we all look forward to and we deserve to find ways to make it the best years of our life and we really want to be able to live in harmony with our partner and if you've just retired or it's coming up soon make sure to follow some of our advice here and importantly make sure you're starting to talk about this phase of life with your partner or spouse to share your dreams and aspirations now if you enjoyed this video check out this next one the truth about early retirement what they don't tell you this is a great video we talk about the endless opportunities that exist and you aren't getting any younger now might be the right time to retire so check out this video next

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Single Retirement (7 Tips to Ward off Loneliness)

there's 10 000 people turn in 65 every day and one half of this population is reaching this age on their own so you're not alone in this phase you need to know that you aren't alone but retiring solo does increase your risk of actually being lonely which can have detrimental impact on your health today we're going to talk about retiring alone or the new buzzword of solo retirement so if you're watching this and you say well that doesn't apply to me and you're a woman stay tuned the reason i say that is unfortunately seven out of ten or seventy percent of baby boomer aged women actually outlive their husbands what are you gonna do with that why are you laughing what are you gonna do without me i don't know what i'll do with that party anyway there's 10 000 people turning 65 every day and one half of this population is reaching this age on their own so you're not alone in this phase you need to know that you aren't alone but retiring solo does increase your risk of actually being lonely which can have detrimental impact on your health so this idea of emotional loneliness you know that people over 65 who suffer from that they have an 18 increase in their mortality rates which is scary so today we'll give you seven strategies to help ward off loneliness and overcome isolation to live a more fulfilling life as a solo retiree so here's the first strategy and this is really important overcoming your financial insecurities now if you are a single woman now or a single person and you're retiring and you don't really have a handle on your finances that's a problem and you're going to be stuck and stifled and not be able to move forward so you need to hire a financial planner and understand your finances and frankly if you're a couple watching this and one of the two of you really gets finances well and the other one doesn't that's not a good place to be no if you're listening to this both of you should pay attention and share the financial information as well as the financial burdens now because ultimately if you listen to that first statistic if you're a woman 70 of us will end up as a solo retiree outliving our partner that's just the medical history that's just the facts you know there are friends down the street who purchased the house from this elderly couple and unfortunately her husband passed away and she decided she wanted to downsize she went to sell the house they got all the way down the road to the closing right and realized he had never changed the title of the house so it took another three months to close and it's just because she had no idea they weren't really sharing the information so it is really important yep so get your finances in order we're not financial planners but definitely find one that was strategy number one strategy number two create a small support group of peers like mark said you're not alone there are many other people in the same place and you want to be able to share your struggles and successes with them yeah because it's it's tough to be alone and it's tough to really be alone but if you can be alone with another person who's alone then you're not alone anymore right that makes sense right kind of yeah good theory i mean you could do weekly coffee you know pick up a class or do some exercise or even just take a long walk it's important to make sure that you connect and have a group of peers yeah relationships are key and having a support group really helps so strategy three is along the lines of that but we're really suggesting that every day you talk to someone on the phone and person whatever it might be make sure you have a conversation with another human being every single day and it might make sense to make a list of people that you can call absolutely makes sense you know friends and family and neighbors you know and never feel like you're imposing and like mark said don't let a day go by that you're not involved in a conversation now it's always better in person because it feels better but if you can't be in person bad weather you know covet kept us all locked up a little bit at least call but be there and frankly what's helpful is not only for you to reach out to get some communication help but be the one supporting other people that's a great way to start having some conversations in a peer group that you're leading it so connect with someone every day strategy number four have a daily plan and a schedule something that adds structure to your life so that you're not always wondering what am i going to do today what's the morning going to be like how am i going to make it through the afternoon really set the tone from the day in the morning now good habits and routines are important and i know a lot of people that like to get up they've worked their whole life and they're retired now and they want to get up and just have a cup of coffee and watch tv watch a little more tv have some more coffee but before you know it it's 11 o'clock and you haven't talked to anybody and you really haven't done much so setting some schedule and some time some self-care time with friends and frankly limit tv i mean i you know watching tv every morning from 7 a.m till noon it's not healthy no but you could even schedule some time to learn to pick up a class to go to the library to read to children to find things in your community that you could do to be helpful and that makes you not alone and isolated so here's the fifth strategy and you've heard this from us so many times and it just makes so much sense this one does come up in a lot of our videos because it helps in so many areas of your life the fifth strategy is exercise every single day move your body move it get up and move it do you know that if you walk 20 minutes a day every day for 20 minutes you can add five years to your life so what about walking with a friend and 20 minutes that's easy walk for 30 minutes with someone and have a chat and catch up so you're now you're exercising and you're communicating with someone you know as we all age movement does become harder but you need to be as active as you can and just know that you can do 20 minutes a day so we hope you do that take it seriously so now let's talk about strategy number six volunteering you know there's so many benefits with volunteering and it's become such a huge part of our retirement transformation program and you know we do bring it up a lot volunteering sharing your wisdom creating your community you know providing yourself with fulfillment sharing and searching your passions we bring that up a lot but it does help with this loneliness and the potential for isolation you know you instantly can find a community of people when you start to volunteer and it could be as basic as working at the local food bank or the library or something but you're going to find dozens of other people in the same position you are in looking for communities so it's really important to give this a shot absolutely strategy number seven would be to try new things learn technology mark and i did a talk one day and there was a bunch of people in the room and one lady raised her hand talking because we were bringing up this strategy about learning technology her name was ava she raised her hand and she talked about the world that technology opened to her allowing her to connect with her family over in italy and how they structured it how she learned face time how she learned zoom how she learned to be able to work all of the technology in her house to really ward off that loneliness and you know how she did it remember her story she got one of her grandchildren to sit with her and work on the iphone with her to learn how to do face time she couldn't believe in her mind that it could happen and then in the end how easy it was for her right so but it really made her feel connected and less lonely and i think utilizing technology in that way is really smart and learn from a younger person it's nice in a community to have people your own age and people younger so and while you're learning technology look for online courses that are out there look for some online learning that can engage you i did that when i went to the university of pennsylvania and i took an entire online online course and i got to zoom in with other kids college kids college kids and i was the old lady but that was great and i made a lot of great contacts doing that no a big thing to remember is you're not alone you can ward off this loneliness but you need to be proactive work on the seven strategies we just mentioned above and listen if you enjoy this please share with your friends and also please subscribe by clicking the subscribe button below don't forget to join our free facebook community the link is down below and it's very interactive where jody and i go live each week you get to ask questions and we can communicate with each other and thanks for listening and we look forward to seeing you again

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Transitioning to Retirement Part 1 (5 to 10 years before retirement)

What we created for you is a three-part series that we'' re regarding to launch today is five to 10 years prior to retirement as well as in the future you ' ll see the one to five years and then that 12 month out when it ' s go time today is all regarding the change right into retirement you recognize when you assume of the word retirement in some cases you think of points like obtaining old being pointless or resting on a beach drinking pina colada that sounds a little up day long occasionally you believe regarding golf 3 days a week or treating every day like a saturday but the reality is it'' s an extremely hard change going with this transition with some planning initiative routines as well as routines that offer you will certainly yield remarkable results as well as the contrary if you leave it to opportunity and just show up it can be dreadful you might find yourself feeling rudderless with truly no idea what to do every day so what we created for you is a three-part collection that we'' re regarding to launch today is 5 to ten years prior to retirement as well as in the future you'' ll see the one to five years and then that 12 month out when it'' s go time you understand we'' re going to give you four essential approaches that you can utilize right now to guarantee success again i understand you'' re 10 or 5 years out however it'' s really vital so we ' re going to offer you those techniques as well as after that at the end of this video we ' re going to give you five activity steps that you have to implement right now now you know mark as well as i have found out a whole lot over the past 13 years and also we'' ve had our fair share of failures successes we have a list of points we would do differently as well as a really lengthy listing of things we'' ve found out and you know we want to far better prepare you for this outstanding improvement so why put on'' t we begin with the initial technique and the first one you ' ll be acquainted with it ' s intending put on ' t roll your eyes yeah you understand individuals state why would i have to prepare for my retirement well below ' s the point you ' ve had a long profession i ' m certain my profession was 38 years i prepared every day every week every month every quarter every year every five years so we ' re all utilized to preparation as well as the correlation is this stage can last 30 years so why would certainly you not plan a good place to start would certainly be to get a journal and we'' re going to talk even more about journaling in the next episode the next series one to five years out since it'' s vital so the 2nd essential approach would be understanding the dangers as well as just how to deal with them so you may state to yourself what risks are there in retirement as well as i'' ll tell you we ' ve done study on the large three the first is loss of identification you no much longer have your chief executive officer card or your head of state card or your head of sales card or your workplace or your email or your team yeah or your branding you recognize you walk into a room and also there ' s jody she ' s svp of chubb blah blah blah that goes away so you do shed your identification the second of the huge three of threats is your loss of community all of your pals and your customers as well as your situational relationships your dining establishments you went to the maitre d'' s you recognized the resorts you frequented at occasions you know you lose that community as well as that'' s a big deficit right and the third one the 3rd risk of getting in retired life or when you go into retirement is you'' re going to obtain 40 or even more brand-new complimentary hrs that come your method which feels liberating it does feel liberating yet you have to figure out what to do with them we have a terrific video clip youtube we did on time abundance in retired life so we can put that web link down below as well yet the third method after beginning to get familiar with the dangers is beginning to assume regarding a vision for this stage as well as if you'' ve been following us for a while you recognize we chat a great deal about 5 pillars physical wellness mental wellness connections spouse companion connections as well as knowledge sharing as well as the sixth one that we'' ve been really batting around which isn'' t in our vernacular right now yet it'' s actually the community and also how to construct a community for on your own throughout this space because you put on'' t desire to do this alone so five to ten years out we want you to think concerning the columns we desire you to believe about where you are with each of the pillars where are you with your physical health your mental wellness you recognize where are you with your partnerships as well as so on currently'' s the time to begin the idea procedure and also spend the following 5 or 10 years thinking regarding them making them part of who you are the 4th method is to begin believing about routines as well as routines as well as actually drill down on what is offering you well what are you requiring to quit what are some brand-new behaviors that you may want to draw into your retirement and into this next phase of life as well as your preferred early morning routine you know my early morning routine our early morning routine during our career obtain up have a cup of coffee enjoy a little news do as many emails as we might before we could obtain to work capture up on all of that i was going to say there was making lunches as well as finding football clothing however then leaping in the automobile and going to function right you know your initial day at residence that first monday when you'' re sitting there you put on ' t have that you ' re could be vacant nesters like we were so you look throughout from each various other so you want to start assuming about your early morning routine now and also maybe start to change it and you also desire to kind of take supply of the routines as well as routines that you have now as well as exactly how are they going to equate into retirement and also i'' ll give you an example a behavior i had when i was going out to supper amusing clients was well very first you rest down and also you buy a bottle of white wine if i did that practice every time i went out to dinner during retirement i'' d be consuming a dreadful whole lot of a glass of wine is that a practice that i want to pull into the following 30 years or conserve it for unique well we should pull that in for the initial six months that drops under the failure one more category yeah it was a failing but anyhow so if you execute work on these 4 strategies for the next you recognize 5 years you'' re going to begin to obtain some clearness on retirement what must i worry about what am i thrilled regarding what'' s it going to look like and also you'' re going to have comfort in recognizing more about what'' s out there than possibly you'do currently you ' ll likewise obtain a higher sense of what success is going to look like for you that ' s a huge one individually for the following 30 years and you recognize the really large one is it will certainly assist you refine and also pierce down on what will your purpose be yeah and also your enthusiasm objective and also interest we hear those words used all the time yeah and also right currently throughout your occupation if you'' re still in it you'' ve obtained function as well as you might have interest around your work yet enthusiasm in retired life where'' s that going to live for you and then the various other thing that comes out of doing all of this job is being in control of your life you don'' t want to just let everything happen between currently and also the day you walk out the door without being aggressive with every little thing that you do and you know it takes courage to be in control of your life it takes courage to be in control of your very own schedule as well as your own day as well as you have 30 years to work that out so pay attention if you'' re obtaining worth out of this please share offer it a thumbs up as well as copy the web link listed below as well as share it with your good friends so allow'' s do the 5 action steps 5 action steps that you must do currently the very first point satisfy as well as work with a monetary planner you know we can'' t highlight this enough as well as also if you ' re a wise monetary individual and you manage your supplies and also all of that it'' s so excellent to have an outdoors independent third celebration aid look at your advantages your pension plan your 401k um as well as that'' s not us it ' s not us no no we don ' t do anything in this location we have a financial planner and also it just allows us to understand that that is clear as well as it likewise you get to understand do you have adequate money to retire that'' s constantly vital what'' s your date right what day do you have in mind yeah since you never ever think you have adequate cash right however the economic strategy will assist you if you'' re going to live this means you have plenty of cash the 2nd activity step if you'' re wed or you have a partner i can not emphasize adequate interaction what is your consolidated vision you can'' t wait till the day after you stroll out of your workplace to begin to share what that is to your partner or partner as well as i'' ll yeah i ' ll tell you this is an area where lots of pairs stop working big time they both had tasks they both were fantastic all they spent their weekend breaks with each other and also nights however all of an unexpected currently they'' re with each other all day long and also the wife has one vision as well as the partner has one more and it'' s and also actually on any type of one of the pillars yeah they can have different visions on physical health or connections or you recognize anything that has to do with retirement so the secret is start chatting concerning it currently right you don'' t want to wait up until you'' re house the initial day after retirement to begin figuring out what your vision'' s going to be now the 3rd one is to believe about just how you'' re going to show up in the five pillars we mentioned so what do i suggest by revealing up exactly how are you going to enter retirement literally right mentally with your partnerships undamaged or not you know how are you going to show up with your spouse partner you have to make a concerted initiative to reveal up in the right means and the fourth step call some of your retired close friends see what they'' re simply in fact fun it is enjoyable i keep in mind going down to florida to play golf with my friends and also the older guys from our club were there as well as what'' s it like what do you do and also well every day is like a saturday however you understand i could see they actually weren'' t that healthy not all of them were were doing what what i believed made feeling however i simply figured that'' s what takes place as well as ask him some challenging questions yeah what do you love concerning it what are your lows like what are your highs like you know have you developed an area of like-minded people and if you have exactly how did you do it just how did you figure out where to live all of those things yet they'' re an excellent resource for you and also the fifth step begin having a conversation concerning scaling down or we could call it appropriate sizing this is another location where families run into trouble so simply begin imagining what life can be if you'' ve got the huge 5 family members residence with a 5 bedroom residence for all the kids full shower rooms and all that you recognize as they begin to leave the nest which you want them to do do you truly need a house that big and also maybe you do yet the suggestion right here is to decide do you want to continue to have that huge home as well as if the decision is yes then that'' s good right however not understanding is bad right one of the things we did as we took a trip around we uh that'' s why just how we ended up in in connecticut we came below for summer seasons on our boat and we liked it and also so we determined to build a home yeah however we did a lot of browsing we did a whole lot of googling we did a lot of reading we did a great deal of home trips we looked at a whole lot of various neighborhoods and also you will certainly locate the one that'' s right for you however i would begin early once again the day after you leave your corporate occupation or your organization is not the time to so those are five actions that we hope you do right now we'' re going to offer you three books to review speaking of learning that are important we think to check out at any type of time prior than retiring to retiring one is 2nd hill by david brooks the second is the means of change by william bridges and also one of my faves is the five love languages by gary chapman it'' s simply an excellent interaction publication as well as we'' ll placed those web links down below fantastic reads you understand today we'' ve shared some concepts and also some methods and some actions to aid you begin this trip yet once more i can'' t stress adequate put on'' t delay even if you'' re 10 years out begin thinking currently and also right here'' s recommendations from me that'' s actually bad at testing conversations wear'' t placed them off rest down find a way to have an open dialogue and also just you understand be kind to each various other as well as listen to each various other due to the fact that everyone has an opinion as well as also don'' t neglect to watch the other 2 parts that will be behind this as well as with some initiative and some planning and also some genuine action you can enter this phase with an entire successful approach laid out if you enjoyed this please share with your close friends and subscribe by clicking the subscribe button listed below and also wear'' t fail to remember to join our complimentary facebook neighborhood the web link is in the notes listed below as well many thanks for paying attention and also we look onward to being with you once again

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Top Tips to Sleep Better in Retirement

as we age our sleep patterns modification and also it can end up being increasingly tougher to obtain a better evening'' s sleep as well as regular bad sleep brings about pretty poor Wellness you can have tiff swings bad emotional well-being kind of being irritable when you don'' t rest what no no no not me'you you ' re the one that stands up grouchy when you wear'' t sleep truly I think so huh is that you'or is it me I ' m not sure good obtaining good evening ' s rest is freaking crucial how about that in fact persistent rest starvation is linked to diabetic issues weight problems cardiovascular condition as well as immune dysfunction as well as occasionally you can'' t get good rest since your next-door neighbor is making use of a chainsaw in the middle of the afternoon when I intend to rest so I'' m sorry regarding the noise but we couldn'' t assistance that but that can absolutely affect your rest so discovering ways to boost your rest is so essential to a longer and also healthier life as well as what we intend to do today is provide you ways to obtain better and also enhance your overall feeling of wellness you understand I know it can be a struggle at times and and perhaps it'' s it ' s that your spouse or partner is snoring what maintaining you awake begin or you have a canine that rests in your bed that we have and also that can be a trouble Max is not a problem a trouble Max my snoring'' s not a problem yours is as well as Max is certainly an issue yet whatever it'is you know it ' s it ' s excellent to keep a pulse on exactly how you slept not just exactly how long you were in bed today for me I'don ' t know why but I ' ve always been an early bird because an extremely young boy yeah as well as it ' s uncommon for me to rest past 5 a.m and just recently for whatever factor I'' m standing up at 3 30

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Now I can commonly return to bed for an hour or so however sometimes I'' m up at 3 30 or 4 for the day which does use them it does it does throughout our initial 4 years of retired life we functioned actually hard to locate means to get into an excellent rhythm of sleep as well as you recognize we'' re finally starting to have some excellent success however it has actually taken a while and also at the end of this video clip so please remain throughout we'' re mosting likely to share with you our rest routines that you don ' t have to copy them yet there'' s components of it that you may find practical due to the fact that it'' s a lot different than when we were functioning as well as these new regimens that we'' ve carried out are really offering us a great night'' s rest so allow ' s dive deep on why rest is so crucial and also the initial thing is specifically as you age I believe yeah yeah however it'' s vital to children too I imply I just believe sleep is essential simply to all alright well allow'' s deal with infant rest today so anyway the first reason is bad rest certainly influences your physical health yeah you covered that a bit in the beginning right and it might seem apparent but individuals that have bad sleep practices simply accept it and also they have no suggestion the damages it could be doing to their body to their relationships and also to their their total health yeah so you can'' t simply say well I only obtain 6 hours of rest a night as well as I feel bad all the time well I haven'' t obtained ta repair it I have a great deal of good friends that just claim I'' m not a great sleeper as well as they simply sort of compose it off and they believe that ' s simply the method it needs to be and also it doesn'' t however as you age we come to be a lot more prone to particular sorts of illness as well as sufficient '' s immune system your hormone policy and your cardio health so make it a top priority yeah the various other point poor sleep does it impacts our cognitive wellness I like that word cognitive Health cognitive wellness assist words cognitive you were saying cognitive aid assist alright great rest is essential for us to maintain our memory intact our ability to believe plainly as well as if we have bad rest it'' s gon na enhance our opportunities of establishing cognitive decline and also dementia and also my mom had mental deterioration so this is actually crucial to me to ensure I obtain great sleep you understand so bad rest can likewise the third point is actually influence your emotional health and wellness you recognize I recognize that I feel entirely different emotionally relying on the high quality of sleep that I solve I can tell when I wake up if I'' ve been kept awake all night by somebody snoring and also the last point is pores what why do you simply always try to move that in I I snore a little bit but I'' ve never ever listened to a recording tonight you can record me okay and after that you can play it on the following video clip appears excellent however poor sleep additionally influences our security believe regarding driving a vehicle you understand as we age and also I'' m noticing this now our reflexes reduce down I can'' t back up in a vehicle like I used to when I was 18 years old truly no I obtained ta I obtained we have mirrors as well as cams now and all that but you place poor rest on top of reflexes decreasing as well as that can have devastating results so if we'' ve persuaded you that rest is essential to concentrate on allow'' s talk concerning some of the reasons why it'' s harder to obtain great rest as we age as well as the first thing is as we mature our heart Rhythm changes body clock oh body clock yeah as well as it'' s so funny due to the fact that I will say I love this new word circadian is that what shows on our Mood ring or the Rhythm clock yeah it'' s not a cardiac Rhythm oh although it does track our cardiac it does at evening yet our circadian rhythm modifications which'' s the integrated process that regulates our appetite our energy levels and our rest that we identified through our research study and you called as it alters it can get heart you can make it harder to drop off to sleep during the night as well as make it more challenging to awaken in the early morning so circadian rhythm so create that down I don'' t need to create that a person down also I have to yeah the 2nd point is as we age our hormone degrees change you discussed that earlier however it is essential to mention it once more since our body you know as our as our bodies age they'' re going to create reduced degrees of melatonin there'' s an additional large word to make a note of this occurs to me so I take Natural melatonin supplements and also this helps me drop off to sleep much easier and also sleep even more comfortably yet it seems like I require much more maybe possibly I wear'' t recognize you'' re sleeping peacefully you ' re just loud when you do it fine we figured out by seeing with our naturopath medical professional and she'' s assisted us out with all of that sleep all-natural supplements and so we absolutely advise that but the various other thing if you'' re having bad sleep check with your doctor on your drugs on your real prescription medicines from your medical professional since they can impact your sleep yeah there'' s typical prescriptions that you could be taking like antidepressants or diuretics every one of that can disrupt your rest so you have to figure out the various other thing that can can play a huge duty in your rest is your way of living you understand your stress degrees your alcohol intake you understand when you eat your large dishes and also truly your lack of physical activity can all influence your sleep so allow'' s remain with this momentarily because on our aura calls the tracks our rest to name a few points if I have a glass of red wine as well as steak I'' m gon na have crappy sleep yeah we track it every time yes if I if we can go three or four evenings in a row with a light supper of a salad and also some protein and also no alcohol I sleep like an infant right we put a late supper in there uh a steak meat heavy and also a glass of red wine or more I'' m screwed it ' s just not gon na take place that'' s true to ensure that ' s real anyway all of that does influence your rest and you did you point out physical activity I did fine I did yeah as well as you know you should contact your doctor you recognize you may have a sleep problem that requires some interest sleep apnea uneasy leg syndrome or even insomnia is you recognize something that that can occur later in life the important things is we require to do what we can to improve our sleep okay why don'' t we share just how much rest we need do you understand well I believe it'' s an individual thing I believe some individuals can survive on Bit others make it through on 9 hours I understand when my twins were born and also I had a 20 month old I think I was making it through on 4 or five hours of sleep as well as that was probably a stretch well it'' s real um and there are you recognize you can investigate this online but the national rest Foundation mentions that many people over the age of 65 you'' re not there yet I ' m 66 on Saturday by the method that'' s right did we intend to do a birthday celebration video possibly alright um we need seven to eight hours of rest each night now like Jody stated some people can state oh I'' m okay with sex yet imagine how excellent they'' d feel if they did 7 or eight so that that'' s my disagreement to individuals like that so we I require to discover somehow a minimum of 7 hours of sleep an evening standing up at 3 30 makes it tough yet we we work with it yeah however you understand what we do we try to obtain a great evening'' s rest by adhering to a schedule or a minimum of we try to stick to a schedule you know we both try to be sleeping by 10 you rise at 5 I get up at six and also that practically manages you recognize our rest where we can obtain deep sleep rapid eye movement light sleep and have a little bit of delay time with that well things is once again I maintain speaking about the aura ring yet we we like the mood ring I get a notice on my phone depending upon just how much sleep I got the evening in the past right that currently you recognize between you'' re your best time to head to sleep tonight between 8 30 and also 9 as well as I like that alert because I enter early you as well you like it when it says anytime before 10 that'' s without a doubt when we are alone in the residence we put on'' t have visitors this is virtually what we do five evenings a week six evenings a week if we'' re not going out with any person this is what we do when there'' s company or'youngsters it ' s going to be various and we can keep up till one in the early morning currently we really feel crappy the next day however we can do it so the first thing we do is we try to control our time in bed as well as the 2nd point is we try to have our dinner done by seven right and that'' s a huge modification for US Article retired life I would certainly say pre-retirement if we began supper at 7 30 that was early yeah we we attempt to remain that 6 30 yeah and done by seven like you stated yeah as well as dinners are lighter for us and also after dinner we'' ll watch television for an hour 7 30 to 8 30.

As well as that'' s it well then yeah we wear'' t walk Max and yeah but we put on'' t spend a great deal of time on TV tonight since you wear'' t intend to do that to promote your mind'but I ' ll constantly take a warm shower I I often jump in the bath in some cases you wash we'' ll reviewed before we go to sleep I read in a chair I don'' t checked out in bed right yet this gets us kicked back before we enter into bed you understand we take actions also to ensure our room fits you know the room requires to be dark and also the space needs to be 68 degrees or cooler right as well as you recognize strangely sufficient you understand that mattress and pillows that you'' ve had for the past 25 years you might desire to take a pulse check and also see if you require to remodel those since an excellent cushion and the right cushions makes a distinction we just recently obtained um the sound maker so we have an audio equipment in an area however the funny thing is I likewise use earplugs due to the fact that I don'' t intend to hear you snoring and Max making his noise yet if I have earplugs I can'' t listen to the sound maker well I don'' t comprehend why I have a sound equipment hmm okay I'' ll need to figure that out yeah but we likewise attempt extremely tough to prevent our phones thirty minutes before going to sleep simply put on'' t do it'because it ' s going to get your mind stimulated right I ' m a side sleeper on my appropriate side pillow in between my legs and also'I'' m out yeah and also I ' m a back sleeper somehow I believe my granny as soon as informed me to sleep on my back since that'' s not aiding but most evenings this routine collections us up for an excellent evening'' s rest and you recognize the things that we have discovered that we have tagged that absolutely affect our sleep our high levels of caffeine and also alcohol for certain consuming late consuming red meat as well as viewing television specifically over promoted TV late at evening we'' re always researching new methods to enhance our rest I really just recently began wearing a mask an eye mask I suggested to bring it to as a prop does any individual get it no alright I use a mask I'' ve been doing it for concerning a month as well as it does make a difference you recognize and also we both practice meditation right so making use of headspace or tranquility you recognize excellent apps apps we make use of those as well as sometimes if we'' re both having a difficult time dropping asleep if we'' ve simply had among those days where we can'' t reduce it down we'' ll actually play aloud on one of our phones a rest story which is extremely intriguing as well as we can hear everything the method yes currently we notice a difference in that we are as well as how we appear with each other if we have excellent sleep yeah right we'' re definitely happier a lot more energetic and much more fun with each other Did we tell you we have mood rings these mood rings are wonderful it'' s something to consider it determines our Sleep High quality and also it'' s additionally the very first thing that we check in the mornings we see how we did you recognize if you'' re fighting with sleep try some of these suggestions that we'' re doing and drop some notes in the comments below if anything else you can consider to help us in this community improve sleep now if you like this video clip you'' re mosting likely to love this following one seven kinds of remainder since it'' s not simply rest that aids you get rested we discuss other type of rest like psychological remainder innovative rest social remainder and more so enjoy this following video clip

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